Tell me you loved me
by ilovemyself26
Summary: Sequel to Unthinkable..
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys.. I am back from my vacations and i am sad but i took my time to write some chapters and start this sequel.. Hope you like what i have..**

**I would like to thank my lovely girlfriend who reads my chapters before i update them.. So thank you baby and i love you..**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Dreams come true? Dreams you thought that could come true but didn't. Dreams of meeting someone you would love so deeply that every time you would be away from them your heart would be shattered to pieces. Dreams, your parents dreams, your dreams.

When I look back I remember her and immediately I feel tears on my eyes. When I look back I wish I could do everything different. To be more mature. To be more true to my feelings. But at the end I was just a coward. Afraid. Scared if you want say the exact word.

Ashley was a big part in my life. Actually the biggest part. After so many years and I still remember her face at that day. Her tears on her face, the tears on mine. After so many years and I still cry at night of what I lost. Of what I could have if I wasn't such a scared child. Such a big coward.

Four years tomorrow after our break up. The break up that I asked. The break up that made us lose each other. The break up that made me lose her. You are wondering why or how? Sometimes I feel the same. Sometimes I ask myself the same questions over and over. Why? How? But there is no one here to answer me. She is not here to answer me. Of course she is not. Why should be after what I did to her.

Four years back. That summer that was the happiest and the saddest. The summer that I had her back and I lost her.

Ashley was surprising me by coming here for my birthday. We were on a break before that and I was so glad that we discussed it and we were back together. She surprised me by coming to Greece. I was surprised and very very happy. I didn't think of my parents or my friends. All I could think was Ashley and only her. She occupied my thoughts, she held my heart. I couldn't see beyond her. First mistake..

Those days were magical. I was living a fairy tale. The one when then princess takes the prince and they have their happily ever after. Only this fairy tale didn't have a happily ever after.

Ashley told me that she would stay in Greece till it would be time for me to go back to the states. So imagine how I was feeling. I would have my girlfriend with me for two months. I was making plans for us. Where to take her, what she should see. You know, being a tour guide for my girlfriend and I didn't have a problem when she was paying me with kisses.

First week was perfect. My parents didn't know yet about Ashley's visit. I wanted to keep her mine. To have her without thinking. Second mistake.

My best friend was 'helping' us. She was my cover. Every other night I would tell my parents that I would stay with Georgia and I would be laying on the same bed with Ashley make love to her. Mesmerize her body, inhaling her intoxicating scent. Till that night..

I kept arguing with my best friend and Ashley that I should tell my parents about her visiting Greece. About my roommate from the states visiting me, but I couldn't. I didn't know what I was thinking then. Maybe I did. I was scared. Why my roommate from the states was here, surprising me? I was afraid of my parents reaction. Now that I think more clear I know that I was overreacting.

It was another beautiful night with Ashley. I took her out for some dinner because I knew she liked her food being all American and everything and we were heading at her hotel. I had called my parents telling them that I would stay to some friend's house with Georgia because they had a party so I was drama free for another night. I would make love to Ashley all night. She would be all mine.

That night I was so overwhelmed that I didn't check my phone. Third mistake. My phone was dead. I was so focused on Ashley that I didn't even care to check it. All I wanted was laying right next to me. We made love four times that night and after that we cuddled to each others arms. Every night Ashley was putting her hands around me and I was falling asleep right away.

I go back to that night every night. Although I want to forget it seems so difficult to do that. I remember everything. Every little detail. Because after that night everything wasn't the same again. I wasn't the same again.

We were sleeping so deep that we didn't hear the knock to Ashley's door. I didn't hear when the door opened minutes after. What I saw was my mother and father looking at me. My mother yelling at me and my father trying to hold her. Me trying to cover myself and Ashley trying to understand what was happening. Sometimes when I close my eyes I still hear my mom's words _'you discussed me'._ The person I loved the most in this world thought I was a disgrace. Behind them was Georgia, my best friend. My mind was not working. I was naked on bed with Ashley. My mom and dad were at the same room with me. But how? What happened?

Georgia was looking at me with apologetic eyes mouthing 'I am sorry'. She was sorry. Why? She was showing me my phone. The phone that was dead because of battery. I was trying to speak but every time I would open my mouth words couldn't come out. All I could see was my mom crying over my dad's arms. I couldn't see anything else or anyone. I didn't even turn to look at Ashley who was still there looking at me.

That night was the beginning of an end. The end of Ashley's and mine's relationship. You are wondering again how everything happened. All I can say is that my parent's were looking for me. Of course my phone was dead and they called Georgia's house. My best friend was there but I wasn't where I supposed to be. They asked questions and Georgia told them where I was.

My mom was in a state that I never saw her before. She was crying and I knew I was the reason for that and I hated it. My father didn't say much. He was quiet, trying to understand everything. Trying to understand that his daughter, his princess was on the same bed with another girl. No prince charming. Dreams shuttered.

They told me to follow them right away and that I did. I put my clothes on and tried to walk out of the room. Ashley didn't let me though. _'Spencer, please. Don't walk away again. We need to talk about what happened'_. I couldn't even look at her. It wasn't her mistake. She did nothing wrong. But right now I couldn't even look at her and that hurt me as much it hurt me watching my mother crying. I stood up from the bed but she held my wrist. _'Please baby'_. Her pleading tone was too much to handle. I didn't say anything and I walked away leaving her there for one more time. Fourth mistake.

The ride back home was in complete silence. That was killing me inside. My mom would never hit me. She never did that to me or Glen. My father was the same way. They were the best parents in the whole world and right now I was causing them pain. I was searching both their faces to see what they were thinking. All I could see was tears and more tears.

Once we were home my mom started to talk. All she said was that I wouldn't go back to the states. I would finish college here in Greece and I should forget Ashley. I was expecting her to say worst because of the incident back to Ashley's hotel. I tried to object but she didn't listen. She told me that I was a disappointment to her and that she should never let me go to the states from the beginning. Well she did talk after all and it wasn't all roses. I was 19. Still young and I loved my parents to death. I didn't want to lose my mom although she thought I was a disappointment to her. I had to choose between love for Ashley and love for my parents. I guess you all know what I chose.

Ashley kept calling me and texting me for days. I didn't have the strength to talk to her, face her, telling her my decision without considering her. But I knew that I had to. She deserved that.

One evening I texted her and told her to meet me at the beach. It was our spot so she knew where to find me. I was anxious meeting her after so many days. I was surprised she was still here and not taking the next flight to California. Till now I remember each word we said to each other.

Once I saw her coming closer to me my heart bit so fast. She was so beautiful but she looked so broken.

'_Hey'_

'_Hey'_

'_Glad you called'_

'_Sorry but I..'_

'_Are you ok?'_

'_Not really' I remember her trying to reach my hand and me stepping back_

'_Spencer what's wrong?' I turned my face from her and looked at the ocean. Ocean always calmed me._

'_Everything is wrong'_

'_Talk to me'_

'_I won't come back to the states with you Ashley'_

'_Why?'_

'_My mom.. She won't let me'_

'_Ok. I understand'_

'_Do you? Really? Can you understand what is happening Ashley?'_

'_I know that what happened wasn't ok but I'm here baby. I am right here and I am not going anywhere'_

'_But I am not here anymore Ash. I can't be here.' In a second I was feeling my eyes watering and Ashley's doing the exact same thing. She knew what I was trying to say_

'_Don't say that Spence. Please. Fight for us. Fight for me. I would fight for you. I ask you to do the same'_

'_I am sorry but I can't. My mom..'_

'_I know how you feel about your mom. Ok. She won't let you come back to college. I can come and study here. We can be together'_

'_No we can't. She wants me to stay away from you.'_

'_Spence..'_

'_Oh, Ash'_

'_Spence..'_

'_Ash, I am sorry but I can't. I can't be a disappointment to my parents. I love them'_

'_If they loved you they would accept you'_

'_You don't understand'_

'_I don't? Let me remind you my relationship with my mother.'_

'_It's not the same'_

'_She was my mom. I loved her but she couldn't control my life. If she couldn't accept me for who I was then she wasn't my mother'_

'_I am not you. Ok?'_

'_Tell me you don't love me and I will leave and you will never see me again'_

'_Ash..'_

'_Tell me. You don't. Love me'_

'_I.. I..'_

I didn't know what to say. I loved her. I did. And I don't think I would love anybody else as much as I loved Ashley. But I loved my mom too. So I said something that I will regret for the rest of my life _'I don't love you'_

I saw the tears in her eyes. I could feel my tears on my face too. I knew that that evening I lost her forever.

'_Goodbye Spencer. Hope you will find what you are looking__ for in your life. I am happy but sad at the same time because I found what I was looking for in mine but I guess it didn't worth it at the end.'_

I wish she would kill me with a sharp knife and not with those words. They still echo in my ears. And I still I can't forget them as I can't forget her.

* * *

**TBC**

**This was the first chapter of this sequel. Tell me you if you liked it.. I have already written two more chapters. So i'll update them fast..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys thank so much for the instant responce to the first chapter. There will be some drama. As for Spencer some of you may realised that sometimes her prepositions are off and that's for a reason. Me and my lovely girlfriend that happens to be my Beta thought to leave Spencer talk like that because she is Greek and not American.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Ashley's POV**

I believe that you fall in love one time in your whole life. Yes you can meet people along your way. You can love them but you are going to fall in love only one time. If you are lucky enough the other person will love you back. If you are lucky though..

I was a person that I was having fun with people. I hurt many of them but in the end it was my heart that was shattered into pieces. It was me that left broken because someone else hurt me. And I was so sure that this thing would never happen.

I fell in love for the first time and for the first time my heart was broken. Now I did understand how the others felt when they were falling for me and I didn't. Of course I am referring to the one person that made my heart skip but it took it with her when she left me. Spencer..

Her name still hurts when I refer to her. That's why I stopped after some months. I was hurting way too much for that.

Four years and counting.. Four years and five days tomorrow.. But who is counting. Four years away from her. She chose it. I didn't. She walked away one more time but this time I couldn't be there waiting for her. Spencer would never change. She would be always the same and my heart could not bare that. I had to let go and I had to let her go..

It's was hard for me to hate her because I loved her very much. But I had to move on. I had to forget and that's what I did.

After what happened at the last meeting I return back to the states right away. I couldn't stay and why should I? Spencer made her choice and I was making mine.

The entire trip back to the states I was crying. I couldn't hold back my tears. Every time I would say that it would be the last but then I would remember her words and I would cry again. Cry.. Strange.. I don't recall crying before. Last time I cried was when my father died. And that was years before.

She didn't fight for us and what hurts the most is that she didn't even want to try. Like we were nothing. All this guilt trip, the fears she had finally overtook her. She left and she didn't even explain. I understood her love for her parents but what about me. What about us? Clearly I was nothing. I had to let go.

Once I was back in California I didn't go home. I couldn't face Kyla's questions and I needed to be alone. I wanted nothing but quiet. To be alone with my thoughts I rent a room at a hotel and I stayed there for a week. I didn't leave room. After days I called Kyla and told her where I was staying. She wanted answers but I couldn't give her what she was asking me. At least not yet..

I tried to be mad at Spencer. I tried to hate her but I couldn't. I couldn't because I still loved her and that was sad because clearly my love wasn't enough and she didn't love me back. I had to let go.

After two weeks at my hotel and many visits from Kyla I decided to go back home. Kyla stopped asking me what happened the first three days after my call. She knew that when I was ready I would tell her and that I did. When I was ready I told her everything. Kyla and Spencer were good friends but I didn't expect her reaction. She was mad at Spencer. Mad and angry with her as I should be. Her answer to why she was so mad at Spencer was '_you are my sister and I love you'_

Time was flowing and day by day I was trying to forget that girl that shattered my heart into pieces. It wasn't easy and it took me months. I left the dorms and I finished college finally. Everything reminded me of her and I wanted nothing more than to forget. Now I had a bachelor degree in music. Not that I needed that but it was something I needed to accomplish.

Without knowing it Spencer was becoming a blur in my mind. I stopped thinking of her. Finally I let go. It was a year after what happened that I was starting to put my life back together. I was giving guitar lessons to kids just for the fun of it. I didn't need the money of course. I just liked what I did. It was that morning that I saw my life change again.

That day I had lesson with John. John was a 15 year old boy who from what I have seen was a talented new musician. Actually he was one of my best students and he wanted to study in Juliard. If he tried hard I am sure they would be happy to have him.

When the lesson was finishing usually his mother would come to get him but that day she didn't. When I heard the knock on my door I came face to face with a young girl with piercing green eyes. She had a smile that was lit up her face. I was standing there just looking at her. It was John's sister. I didn't even know he had a sister. Chloy was her name.

After that day I never saw John's mother again. Chloy would come and get him and every time we would say something more than 'thanks for the lesson.' 'nothing at all' 'I hope he was good'. I learned that Chloy was close to my age. Close. She was a year younger. Not even a year. 10 months. She studied Psychology at UCLA and it is strange how I never seen her before. Chloy was easy to talk. She had that aura that calmed you whenever you were near. It was like I knew her from before.

After four months of just talking at my door I asked her if she wanted to go for a coffee. Of course I didn't assume she was gay or something. I just wanted to hang out with her. Even as a friend.

One coffee became two and then three and then a movie or plans to eat in a restaurant. I was starting to like her as more than a friend though. She had something that was pulling me closer to her. Till then we never discussed relationships. She never asked about mine and I never asked about hers. Not until one night we were out for a drink.

That night we went out. It was exactly 10 months that we were hanging out. All these months and we never asked about each others relationships. From what I knew she wasn't with someone and she knew that I wasn't with someone too. We were at Ego having fun when I saw two people I haven't seen for almost two years. Sammy and Greg. And they were kissing. I guess they finally admitted their feelings for each other. Our eyes met and I saw them coming over to where Chloy and I where sitting. We hugged and kissed and I introduced them to Chloy. I remember what Sammy's first words were... _'How is Spencer? We lost connection. I haven't talked with her for ages.'_

Spencer. I hadn't use that name for so long. I almost erased her from my mind and listening to her name again made my heart beat faster. I saw the look of Chloy's. She was looking at me trying to understand_. 'Spencer and I broke up. Almost two years ago'_. Sammy's face changed in a minute. Her and Greg where always supporting of us. They even called us Spashley. _'I am sorry to hear that. I loved you guys__ together.__'_

It was hard for me to start talking about that and I was glad that Sammy didn't ask more. We agreed to meet for a coffee and then they left Chloy and I alone again. Chloy didn't ask me but I was sure she was curious. So simple as that I told her _'I am gay'._ I saw that smile of hers that made me warm every time and she answered me back something I didn't expect _'I was hoping you were'_

I didn't understand what that meant till we were outside her house. She leaned closer to me, gave me a kiss and just said _'I like you Ashley. A lot' _and I liked her too. I leaned closer to her and pressed a kiss on her lips. I hadn't kissed anyone after my break up with Spencer and I wasn't planning to like someone as much as I liked Spencer. And I liked Chloy a lot.

And here I am.. Two years later in a loving relationship with a girl that I really love. She is the most loving person in the world. She is caring and she loves me for who I am. I love her. But the thing is that I am not in love with her because I still believe that you fall in love only with one person in your whole life. And that person was Spencer for me.

* * *

**TBC**

**Thanks again for all your reviews.**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Sometimes I wish there was a time machine. With that you would go back and you would correct past mistakes. Too bad there is not such a thing and we live with our mistakes.

My life didn't change the last four years. I stayed in Greece and finished college here. I got my degree in photography and I was trying to live according to my mom's dreams and wishes.

After what happened with Ashley she changed. She wasn't the mom I knew. Sometimes I still think that what she saw that night was just a bad dream because she never said anything about Ashley again. Like she never existed in her daughter's life.

I loved my parents very much and leaving Ashley was a tough decision I had to make. I know now that was a big mistake.

First days after what happened I stayed inside my room. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I wanted to be alone. At nights I was crying on my pillow thinking of her. I shouldn't though because it was my choice to let her go. I could have her here with me facing my mom and dad but I decided to be alone to all this. To face my parents alone and break up with someone I truly loved.

I dated guys again. That was making my mom happy and me sad. I didn't keep them more than a month. I couldn't, because every time they were trying to be intimate I couldn't. I was thinking of Ashley. So basically my life was a living lie and fucked up so much. I was trying to find the guts and tell my mom that I was gay. I was. I knew that now. I had all the time of the world at my feet to sit and think. Ashley helped me to find out who I was but I was afraid to admit it not only to myself but to everybody else. But Ashley was a person I loved very much. A person I fell in love with. My best friend, my lover, my girlfriend. And I lost everything.

My mom wanted me to be straight. So I was straight in her eyes. I was dating guys or letting her believe I did. Because after a year I started discovering who I was. I wanted to find out if I liked girls and not only Ashley. I started to go out on gay clubs without thinking of flirting with other girls. I just wanted to go and take a look at the other side.

Georgia, my best friend was starting to take her distance from me. After the incidence she kept in touch for a while but when I told her I was really gay I believe that was what cut her in pieces. I tried to keep in touch, to let her understand that I was still the same. I was still Spencer, her best friend. But she couldn't understand or she didn't want to. I didn't pressure her. If she couldn't accept me for who I was then she wasn't a friend from the start. I lost my girlfriend, the woman I loved. And then I lost my best friend, the sister I never had.

The three years I was in college I discovered myself. I wasn't the same Spencer anymore. Year after year I was growing from a child to a woman. I knew what I wanted and I knew who I was. At my second year of college I was dating a girl. She was a girl I met at the gym one day. I didn't expect that to happen but we were ok then. Actually she helped me to tell my mom the truth.

I didn't use Mary. I really liked her. Actually she was the only person I liked besides Ashley. One day I sat my down mom and I talked to her. I told her that I was gay and if she really loved me she would accept me. If she wanted me to be miserable my whole life and see me die day after day I wasn't planning to listen to her this time. This was my life and my life only. Inside me I believed I never forgave her for Ashley. My mom didn't say anything that day. I think she already knew.

I was dating Mary for a couple of months. I never forgot Ashley though. How she was, what she was doing. I was with Mary and that wasn't right. So I broke up with her. I believed I was ready for a relationship but at the end I wasn't. I wasn't a person who would just go out and have fun, one night stands fucking a different girl every other night. I wasn't that person.

My last year of college my professor told me about a job in National Geographic. I always loved that magazine and wanted to be one of the exceptional photographers. Of course I wouldn't deny that job even if I had to travel to the Amazon to take a picture. The job though wasn't just to photograph an anaconda. Thank God. My job was in the travel & culture department. My dream was coming true. And I was wishing I had someone I really loved to share my dream with.

When I came home that day I told my mom and dad. You are wondering what happened to Mrs Paula Carlin after I told her I was gay. Well as I told you before she said nothing. So basically she knew who I was and I made it clear that I wasn't planning to change for no one. She really tried and I respected that.

The job required for me to go to South America and photograph whatever was interesting. Cultures, beaches, people. Anything that was making those countries amazing. I would go to Chile, Peru, Argentina, Brazil and Venezuela. I was ecstatic. I was 23 years old and the world was opening for me. I would be together with other people too of course. I wouldn't go just alone.

Let me say that year of my life was amazing. I was travelling and photographing. I was making true my two passions. I didn't care right now if I was single or not. And it was good that I was single because who would stand by me while I was travelling. I was in love with what I was doing and that was enough for me.

Time flew by so fast and the year being away from my family seemed like yesterday. When I finished my trip my boss told me they loved my pictures and I was ok. I could rest for a while. I was in South America. With a plane I could be in the States again. I had time for vacations and I really wanted to visit California. I missed that place. And that I did. Not without calling back home and informed my family that I was doing ok, I was healthy and I was going to the states.

Next stop.. California..

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are alwats welcome**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Living your dream is amazing but not having someone to share this dream with it's really not what I wish to anyone. Through my trip to South America I kept telling myself that I didn't need someone. But that was a lie. We all need someone. All I had with me now was my memories. Memories of me and her. They were keeping me company while I was away. Our first meet, our first kiss, our first time. But I had to stop thinking like that because I was making myself sadder and Ashley clearly had moved in her life. Why she wouldn't?

After my last stop that was Peru and I loved that place I decided that it was time for me to take some vacations. Not that traveling and talking pictures isn't vacations but you know what I mean. I haven't been to California since I left that summer. Every time I was thinking coming back but that place kept so many memories.

After what happened with Ashley I lost connection with my friends there. I don't know what got me but I didn't want to keep connection with people that would remind me my mistake of leaving Ashley. Guess I am too late now..

My parents knew I would go to California. My mom didn't say anything. And if she did I don't think I would hear her this time. I would go and see my grandparents. Yes, only my parents.

I booked a ticket for California. Tomorrow noon I would land to LA International Airport, LAX as you all know it.

I know that the world is a small place but inside I was hoping and wishing for two different things. I wished I could see Ashley somewhere and I was hoping that I didn't. Crazy? Maybe. But that's who I am.

When I landed to LA I saw the two familiar faces and my mind went back four years ago. Only this time my grandmother didn't hold a sign with my name. They were waiting me at the same place as before. I can say now that I missed them. Even my grandmother and her food.

"Spencer, sweetheart is so good having you back"

"It's nice coming back grandma"

"Hey kiddo"

"Hello grandpa"

I hugged them both and while I was turning my body to take my luggage I could swear I saw a brunette. Not a brunette. My brunette. But the truth is that she wasn't mine anymore. I am sure my mind was playing games at me because I was wishing I could see her. They say that when you want something very much your mind plays some tricks. So I turned again and followed my grandparents outside.

I couldn't believe I was here once again. I really missed California. It so reminded me of Greece some times. It had two of the things I loved the most. The sun and the ocean. It wasn't home but it felt like that.

Once we were home I smelled the food. Granma was cooking obviously. The only difference between my 18 year old self and the 24 year old self is that I was craving for my grandma's cooking. Moving to a different city every month and not having a home made food can really make you appreciate what you were missing. I can't believe what I am saying right now but I missed my grandmother's food.

"So our granddaughter is a photographer for the National Geographic. It's like the first time we had you here and you were only eighteen then. You seem so grown up Spencer"

"I am grandpa. I am six years older"

"I am not meaning your age. You seem older in mind too. You changed in all these years" and he didn't know how much I changed. I wish I could be the person I am now at that time. Everything it could be better.

"I guess."

"So did you meet a boy in your trips dear?"

"No grandma. I really didn't have the time for flirting or searching but if I did then it would be a girl and not a boy" I saw their faces immediately changing for smiling to surprised. I now think that I shouldn't come out like this to my grandparents. They were old people and I don't think they would understand

"What do you mean but that Spencer?"

"By that grandma I mean that if I was a relationship right now I would be with a girl and not with a boy"

"So you are..a.." I could see she wasn't at ease with saying what I was to her so I helped her.

"Gay grandma. I am gay. I love girls not boys?"

"How? When? It's not possible. Does your parents know? And if they do what they say about all this? I can't believe this is happening to us. To our family. We don't have gays in our family. How am I going to see my friends now? What am I going to tell them if they ask about my granddaughter? Oh my God"

My grandmother was mumbling and all I could do was to look at her without saying anything. My grandmother's reaction reminded me of my mom's. I still believe after all this time that my mom can't understand why I did this to her. The thing though is that I didn't expect this to happen, fall for a girl, and I didn't do this to her. Because for the love for my mom I lost someone I truly loved. I am not planning on lying again. First to myself and then to others.

"Will you stop it woman? Stop. Just stop" I never heard my grandfather raise his voice like that before. He was always calm and relaxed. He could hear my grandmother talking and talking without saying anything.

"But haven't you heard what she said seconds ago? Your granddaughter is gay"

"I am not deaf. At least not yet. I heard what our granddaughter said. Spencer this is your home and we love you unconditionally. Whoever you love is your choice. I only hope for them to love you and respect you. That's all I want for my granddaughter. If it was a boy or a girl I would tell you the same right now. And the conversation stops right now."

I was socked. I didn't expect to hear a 65 year old man talking like that. I thought that he was old fashioned. But I guess people can surprise you and I was very surprised. My grandmother tried to say something but my grandfather stopped her before she could say anything else. For the fist time I saw my grandma being silenced. When we finished our lunch my grandfather asked me to follow him outside at their veranda. I followed him without asking why.

"Does your parents know honey?"

"Yes. Actually they found out years before"

"What do you mean?"

"They show me with someone" I didn't want to have the conversation about me and Ashley with my grandfather. It didn't feel right to discuss my former sex life with him

"Your roommate?"

"Eh?"

"That girl that you were living with at the dorms. What's her name? I can't remember"

"Ashley"

"Yes. Did they find about you and her?"

"How you knew it was her?"

"Spencer I may not talk that much but I have ears and I can see how your face was lighting when you were talking about her. I am sad we never met the girl"

"Grandpa can ask you how you are so ok with all this."

"Let me tell you something you don't know. Once I had a brother. He was older than me and he was a model for me. He was a good brother and a good son. One time he came to me and he opened his heart. He confessed to me that he was homosexual. At that time I didn't understand what he meant. He was 20 and I was 15. So I asked him what he meant. He told me that he liked boys instead of girls. For a moment I stayed quiet trying to understand that the perfect brother, the perfect son, the perfect student and athlete wasn't perfect after all. I didn't understand why he liked boys but my love for my brother never changed. At that time being a homosexual was not easy. People didn't know. He was dating a guy from his college. I never met him but from what I heard from my brother they were so much in love and I was happy that he found someone that was making him happy.

"I will never forget that night. It was late at night when our phone biped. It was 4am. They were calling us from the hospital telling us that my brother was at the hospital. My mom woke me up to tell me that they were going there. I insisted of going with them. Once we were there we found out that my brother was beat to death. He was breathing with the help of the machines. He had broken ribs, a concussion and the doctors told us that a rib got through one of his lungs. They were hoping for the best. The doctor told us about the other guy that was together with my brother. He was in a better condition. He had only a broken nose and his leg was in a cast. My parents didn't ask but I knew immediately who that other guy was. I wanted to meet him.

"I went to his room to check on him. Once he saw me his eyes looked at mine. Before I tell him who I was he asked me how my brother was. He knew who I was. He told me that they were at a bar and they went out holding hands. Some guys saw them and started calling them names that they are not appropriate for me to tell you now. They started pushing him and beating him. My brother stepped infront of him so he could protect him. Then all of them started beating my brother with baseball sticks and iron crowbars. When he was telling me all these he was crying. He was probably a 6 foot guy well built and he was crying. I was furious. Not with my brother and his boyfriend but with these people. It was the only time I wished for someone to be dead. I stayed with him for a while because no one was there for him and when I went out to look for my parents I found them crying.

"That's when I found out that my brother was dead. He succumbed to his wounds. I remember I didn't cry that night. I was trying to be strong for my mother who she kept asking why this happened to her child. She couldn't understand why. I never told her about Jason. Jason was my brother's name. That night I swore to my brother that I won't be a narrow minded person as those who killed him. I kept in touch with his boyfriend. For a long time he stayed single grieving for my brother but some years later he told me that he found someone. I couldn't be mad at him. It wouldn't be right to him to stay single for his whole life. I told him that my brother would be happy for him. Peter was a brother to me. The brother I lost. Up until now we meet and we plan things. He is married to his partner and I am happy for them. Your grandmother doesn't know this story. She knows that I had a brother that he is dead. Sometimes I believe she is narrow minded and I don't want to think that she is like those people who killed my brother. So I am telling you this story to know that you are loved and welcome. Don't mind your grandmother. I am happy that your parents know. Live your life as you like. That's my advice for you. And if you find someone I would be more than happy to meet them."

I never stopped him once while he was telling me my great uncle's story. Sometimes he was closing his eyes like he was going back to the past, living it again. I was glad for having him as my grandfather.

"Thank you"

"For what princess?"

"For telling me all this. I appreciate it"

"I told you this because I want you to be proud for who you are. Be proud of who you love and be proud of what you are doing. That's all I want for my granddaughter. Come here" he opened his arms for me to hug him and he kissed my forehead. I really loved this guy.

"But what about grandma"

"Leave her to me. Don't worry about her. Dogs who bark don't bite"

"Could I meet Peter some time?"

"Of course. How long are you staying in California?"

"Well I am free for now. I am thinking I will stay for a month except if they call me from work and tell me where I am heading again"

"Good. I will call Peter tomorrow to tell him about my lovely granddaughter"

My grandfather was right. He said I looked more mature. Changed somehow. I hoped that someone else could see the change in me. Because this time I was ready..

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Ashley's POV**

Fate is a strange thing. When you think everything is going perfect something or someone comes up and changes everything. I didn't know that I could be in a long term relationship after what happened with Spencer but Chloy is someone who changed that. We were perfect for each other. Everyone who knew about us said that we were the perfect couple. And we were. Until that day that I saw my past facing my present.

Chloy was at a conference about Children Psychology in San Francisco and I was waiting for her at the airport. While I was waiting a few feet away from me I saw someone that looked like Spencer's grandfather. I knew it was him because I had watched him every night while he was picking up Spencer from Starbucks. Next to him was a lady. I supposed it was his wife. She was blond like Spencer. I didn't think much about it. Maybe there were waiting for someone. Family or a friend. But when the doors opened I saw her. They were waiting for Spencer. She was here.

From where I was she couldn't see me but I could see her. She was wearing a long shirt with shorts and sandals. Her hair was longer though. She was the same girl like when she came here the first time but she looked different. She looked grown up. I stared at her for a moment. After four years I was seeing her again. It was strange. Awkward. And my heart was beating fast again. I couldn't believe how she could do that. Why was my heart reacting this way every time I heard her name or see her. I don't understand.

I was still looking at Spencer when I felt two soft hands hugging me from behind. I knew who it was. Chloy was here. I turned my face to look at my girlfriend. She was away for two weeks. It was the longest we have been away from each other till now.

"Hey baby. I missed you" she said and kissed my lips.

"Mmm. I missed you too. How was the flight?"

"Boring actually. I couldn't wait to see you again" I hugged her again. My mind was still on Spencer. Before I leave from the airport I looked one more time behind but she was gone. She was like an illusion in the desert.

"Are we looking for something?"

"Ehm no. I thought I saw someone" and I did. I saw someone I didn't expect to see again. I saw someone I thought I had forgotten.

Chloy didn't know much about Spencer. She knew we were together for a year and that we broke up four years ago. She didn't ask much and I couldn't tell her. I know that was wrong of me but I couldn't speak her name for so long without crying. How would I be able to tell my new girlfriend about the love of my life and how we broke up.

I took Chloy's luggage and we went outside to my car. We stayed at her home for some hours discussing about her conference and how we missed each other. We made out but still my mind was on Spencer. I couldn't take her out of my mind from the moment I saw her at the airport. And I shouldn't think of her while I was kissing my girlfriend. I shouldn't think of her while I was touching my girlfriend. Why she was here? Why now? Why when everything was so good and I was moving on with my life?

I had to talk with Kyla. I had to see her and tell her that Spencer was here. I couldn't stay with Chloy. For the first time I lied to her. I told her that Kyla needed me. But it was all the way around. I needed Kyla. Chloy didn't say anything. She was sad because she was hoping I would stay but I couldn't.

When I left I called Kyla right away. I told her not to go anywhere because I wanted to talk with her. She was scared that something happened to Chloy. I know what her reaction would be once I would tell her about Spencer but she was the only one who knew the situation.

"Ash? Are you home?"

"Yeah, I am here"

I saw Kyla having that face. You know. The one that says 'tell me what the fuck is going on?'

"Spencer is here"

"WHAT?"

"You heard me. Spencer is here"

"You are kidding me right?"

"No. Not at all. She is here. Actually she landed at the same time with Chloy"

"Spencer is here?" I sat on our couch with my head between my legs. I had so many questions. Why now? Why when I was with someone good for me? And why my heart was still beating for her?

"Ashley? Why aren't you with Chloy right now?"

"I couldn't stay there"

"Why? Because Spencer is here? I thought you forgot about her. I thought we finished talking about her. You broke up. She broke you heart Ashley and you are here now whining about Spencer while you should be with your girlfriend?"

She was right but harsh on me. _'I thought you forgot about her'_. I thought I did. I convinced myself that I forgot her. But I guess I didn't after all.

"What do you want me to say Kyla? You know I loved Spencer. I was in love with her"

"And she broke you heart. She didn't love you Ashley. She told you that she didn't. You are with a wonderful girl now. Chloy loves you. You have no drama in your relationship. She is not scared to touch you or kiss you. She is not afraid of who she is. And you are here now talking about Spencer while your girlfriend who was away for two weeks is home alone. Go back to your girlfriend Ashley and forget about Spencer as she forgot about you"

When Kyla learned about me and Spencer and what happened she was angry. I didn't expect her to react the way she did. And after so many years if she hears about Spencer she goes crazy. She hasn't forgiven her for the way she broke up with me. They way she tossed our relationship. The question though is did I forgive her? I don't know. I just don't know. But Kyla was right. I had a wonderful girl waiting for me. A girl that was ready for us and she wasn't afraid. I kissed Kyla goodnight and I went back to Chloy's house.

While I was outside Chloy's house I was thinking the talk I had with Kyla. _'Forget about Spencer as she forgot about you'_. Without knocking Chloy opened the door..

"Ashley? Is everything ok?"

"Everything is perfect. I couldn't stay away from you"

"Is Kyla ok?"

"Yes. Everything is ok. Now do I get my kiss and I follow you inside or am I going to make love to you right here at your front door?" she smiled at me and kissed me. She took my hand and we found ourselves at her bedroom.

Chloy was different but yet so same with Spencer. When I first met her I saw her eyes. They were green and not blue as Spencer's but they had the same warmth. Chloy had this aura that calmed me whenever I needed that. And I needed her now. I needed to stop thinking of someone that was my past and I needed to start thinking of my future with Chloy.

* * *

**TBC**

**Hope you liked it. We are getting there..**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys. Sorry for the late update but here i am now. Hope you like this new chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

I still remember my grandfather's story. I didn't know all that. I didn't know that my great uncle died over homophobic people. I really hope that there aren't such people now but unfortunately I believe there are. Maybe that was my fear from the beginning. What will people say? What they were going to do if they found out? I didn't want to be called a dyke or a lesbian. I didn't want for my parents to see me different. And all my fears overtook me. Made me make a decision that up until now I regret every day. I wish she knew how much I regret that decision.

My grandfather told me to be proud of who I am and who I want and that's what I am doing. I wouldn't let my fears again be in charge. I wouldn't let anyone to tell me what to do and who I should be. I wish she knew that.

When I came back all I wanted was to go to the ocean. Wherever I am when I see the ocean I remember Ashley. I always loved it but with Ashley it was different. We would come together sit at the sand, cuddle and stay there till the sun set. And that's what I am doing now. I am sitting here, at the same spot as always watching the sun set but I don't have her next to me. I don't have my head on her shoulder and our fingers locked. Because now all I have is my memories and the ocean.

When I stayed in Greece I lost connection with everyone here. I didn't want to but it happened. It's not that I had many friends but Kyla was my best friend. Kyla. I thought about her many times. She would be very mad at me. She didn't call me after Ashley left. And if she did I believed she would curse and yell at me. She was a very quiet person and her relationship with her sister is something amazing. They would kill each other but they would kill anyone who would hurt one of them. So I knew that I wasn't someone that Kyla would like to talk. Maybe I was someone she would like to kill. I wanted to call her but I didn't know if that would be nice.

From the other hand I had Sammy and Greg. I didn't keep in touch either. It was my fault. It's so sad to understand now how many mistakes I made. How many people I hurt on the way. But most of all I hurt my heart. And my heart was Ashley.

I still had Sammy's number on my cell. I really wanted to see her and say why I lost connection. I only hoped that she wouldn't hang up on me. So while the sun was setting I made that phone call.

"Someone is making fun of me"

"Sammy"

"Spencer? Really? Is that you? Because I saw your ID on my screen and I thought I read it wrong. Where were you all this time? You didn't call, didn't write. Like you vanished from this planet"

"I know Sammy. I am sorry. I am so sorry. But some things happened and I stayed in Greece. For a long time I was lost"

"Spencer. I was your friend. You could talk to me you know. But losing connection.. Really? Is that what you wanted?"

"It's not what I wanted Sam. It's what I needed"

"And now you are back in California?"

"I am on vacation. I don't know for how long but I will be here"

"I see"

"I am really sorry"

"For God shake Spencer. I thought you had a problem with me all this time. I called you, I emailed you but you never answered me back. What I should infer from all that? Sorry it's not enough"

"I know. But it's all I can say. I am sorry"

"You are very lucky that I am a nice person and very happy"

"You are Sammy. And you are happy because?"

"No no no missy. We won't talk over the phone. Meet me at Starbucks in two hours. See you there stranger"

"Ok. See you there. And Sam..?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you"

"Yeah, yeah. See you there"

I didn't expect Sammy to want to see me. I expected her to hang up on me. I am thankful that at least she was willing to see me. And I wanted to catch up with her. Learn her news and maybe ask her of someone else. Did I have the right though? Could I ask about her after four years?

I stayed at the beach for some time and then I packed my things and went to find Sammy. When I was outside Starbucks I remembered my first day there. It was the second time I was seeing Ashley. The bitchy Ashley that now I can admit was so sexy. I took a big breath and walked inside. I was searching for a familiar face but I couldn't see Kyla. And although I should be afraid I wasn't. Because if I would see Kyla it would be like I was seeing Ashley. But Kyla was nowhere to be found and I saw another familiar face that now was waving her hand to me. I stepped closer and debated with myself if I should hug Sammy or not. But she made the first move.

"Spencer Carlin from Greece. I can't believe it's you"

"Well believe it Sam. It's me"

"Damn girl you look good"

"You too"

"So tell me. How is everything? How's your life? What have you been up to?"

"Wow. Too many questions Sam. I should drink my coffee first"

"No coffee for you. Spit it. And I mean everything"

I told Sammy about my studies back in Greece. I told her about my job. I told her about my life and at the end I told her the reason I stayed back home. The reason I didn't come here again.

"I know. She told me you broke up" once she said that I couldn't ask her what I wanted to ask. How? Were they talking all this time? And what Ashley told to Sammy exactly "Two years before. I was with Greg at the same club with Ashley. I saw her and went there to say hi. I asked about you and she told me that you broke up. She didn't say anything else but I guess she couldn't"

"Why is that?"

"Well she was with someone that night. Another girl" when she was giving that little information about Ashley all I could do was look at her. Another girl. Ashley was moving on..

"I see. So you talk with Ashley now?"

"Now and then we will meet for a coffee. She never told me what happened Spence. I heard what happened from you today. But I could see her face when we would say your name. She was hurt Spencer"

"I know. And I was hurting just the same"

"You were a big idiot you know."

"Tell me something I don't know"

"You were cute together. No not cute. You were hot together. I can't believe that you broke up with her"

"When I look back Sam it's like it's someone else and not me. It took me four years and losing Ashley to find myself"

"It's never too late Spence"

"Are you kidding me? She clearly moved on with her life. I didn't come back to destroy that for her"

"Fight for her Spence. That's all she wanted for you to do. Fight for your girl"

"Sam, listen to yourself. I can't do that to her. She doesn't even know I am here and I would like for it to stay as a secret please"

"Why?'

"Because.." before I finish my sentence I felt someone hugging me with his strong hands from behind and Sammy having this huge smile. I knew who it was.

"Greg"

"Spency. I can't believe you are here. Don't leave me again with this one here"

"Still hating each other?"

"Oh you don't know how much" Greg left me and went to Sammy's side. He gave her a kiss on the lips an sat right next to her

"What was that guys? Did you just do what I saw you did?"

"Yeap. He loves me"

"Don't listen to her. She couldn't keep her feelings inside anymore"

"You wish"

"Guys.. This is wonderful. I always knew that someday you would be together"

"I am stuck with him" Sammy showed me the ring on her finger. Oh my God. This was amazing.

"GUYS.. You are engaged?"

"Yeap" they said unison

"I am so happy for you. Both of you. You were meant to be with each other"

"Yes we were" Greg said and I couldn't believe that they were engaged. They were engaged.

"We will go out to celebrate"

"I don't know Sam"

"Come on. It's been a while since we went out and you won't be here for long. So go back home, get dressed and meet us at Ego at 10pm."

"Ok. Like I could say no to you"

"Good girl. Now let's go. I have to go home and look sexy"

"You are always sexy baby"

"Thank you baby" they were so cute together but their PDA was killing me right now

"Ehm, guys.. I think we should go"

"Yeah, yeah. So Spence. Meet us at 10 sharp."

"Yes maam"

When I went home was 9pm. I had an hour to get ready and find them. My grandma was playing the silence card. She couldn't look at me in the eyes but really I could care less. My grandfather from the other hand was ready to put my grandma on her place if she said something about me. I loved him. I just wish my mother looked like her father instead of her mother.

I went back to my room, took a shower and started getting ready. I chose to wear my favorite black short shorts and a blue shirt that would bring my eyes out. I wore my black heels, did one last check on the mirror. I took my grandfather's car and went to found Sammy and Greg. Tonight I would have fun.

At 10pm sharp I was outside Ego waiting for them. I saw them coming holding hands and I really couldn't believe they were together. They looked good together.

"Spence you look hot girl"

"I am ok I think. You look nice too"

"Thanks. Now lets go inside"

When we got inside the place was packed. I didn't expect to be so crowed here on a Wednesday night

"It's a little bit crowed for a Wednesday night don't you think?"

"It's an opening microphone night"

"Ah I see. Hope they are ok"

"I am sure they will be. At least we can make fun of them"

"Sam don't be harsh"

"I am not harsh Greg. Come. I found us sits. What would you do without me?" Greg and I both looked at each other and shrugged. Sammy was Sammy and she would never change. It's what I liked about her

Our table was infront so we could see whoever were about to sing tonight. I really hope they would be ok. But as Sammy said at least we could make fun of them.

People started taking their places and they weren't bad. Except that guy who thought he was Michael Jackson. Yeah.. Not good. Other than that I can say that they were ok. I was waiting for Sam and Greg to bring our drinks when I heard them talking from behind _'I thought she would be here' 'Why you didn't double check?'_ I didn't know what they were talking but I guess it was something between those two

"Here is your martini Spence"

"Thanks. They were good tonight"

"Yeah they were"

"Thank you guys. I really needed that"

"You welcome. Now, don't be a stranger again. Ok? Keep in touch"

"I will. I promise"

"Now let's talk about that Michael Jackson guy. Did you see his moves? Really?"

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Ashley's POV**

The thing with the past is that it always comes back and hunts you. It's been two weeks since I saw her at the airport and still can't take her out of my mind. I really don't know why I am still thinking of her. Why I can't think of my girlfriend holding my hand right now and all I can think is Spencer?

The past two weeks I was on and off. From the one hand I was trying to persuade myself that I am mad at Spencer, that what she did broke me and from other hand all I could think was how she looked that day when she came back in California. Her long blond hair, her grown up self.

I couldn't say anything to Kyla because she would say the same things over and over again. That I should forget about her and move on. And I was. I was moving on but at the end Spencer was holding me back. How she had that power on me? How she was doing it?

Chloy knew me well. She could see that something was wrong but she couldn't figure out what. I didn't tell her that Spencer was back. Inside me I was hoping to see her one more time. My heart and my mind were telling me two different things. My heart was aching for Spencer and my mind was telling me to stay with Chloy who was good for me.

The question though was what I would do if I would see Spencer again? How I would react? How I would like to react? Ask her why? Ask her why she gave up on me, on us? Why my love wasn't enough of her? I had so many questions but I don't know if I would like to hear her excuses or answers.

"Ashley? What is going on? I've been trying to have your attention for ten minutes now"

"I am sorry babe. What you were saying?"

"I said do you think we should cook or order tonight?"

"I don't have a problem"

"But we are going to meet Kyla's new boyfriend. I believe that it wouldn't be nice to order. Maybe we should cook something. Nothing much. Some potato salad and pasta"

"Chloy, I really don't have any problem. Ordering or cooking it's the same for me."

"But Ash.."

I silenced her with a kiss because really I didn't care what we would do tonight. She knew me and she didn't say anything else.

"We have to check if we have the ingredients. Last time we cooked was two weeks before"

"I am going to check"

Today we would meet Kyla's new boyfriend. She seemed different since she met him. They were together for three months. As far as I know they met out of nowhere. Kyla was ordering her coffee and Paul nudged her and threw the coffee on her. It really reminded me of how Spencer and I met. That day at the supermarket when I found myself lost into her blue eyes.

"Babe, we don't have anything in the fridge. I think we should go to the supermarket"

"Do I have to come with you Ash?"

"You know I don't do shopping and you are the one who wants to cook and not order"

"Ok, ok. Let's go"

Chloy and I stayed in each other's apartments a lot. We haven't discussed yet if one of us should move or not. I won't say that I haven't thought about it but something was holding me back. Something or someone.

"Do you know what you want to buy?"

"Do I ever? I just look what look tasty to me and I buy it. You know me Chloy"

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me unconditionally?"

"I do love you. Very much"

And I loved her. I did. Chloy helped me through everything. She was next to me when I needed her. She was someone I could count on. But I couldn't let my heart fall in love with her because my heart was someone else's. I should forget Spencer though. I should forget her and move on. But everything seems so easy in theory. The difficult part is when you have to act on them.

"I am going to the groceries. You go and see what looks tasty to you. Ok?"

"Ok"

I didn't like shopping because I would always buy everything that I shouldn't. I could go shopping for cereal and ending to buy fruits or chocolate. Yeah, that bad. I was in the cereal section when as I was looking for my favorite ones I saw a blond passing by. My eyes turned immediately to her figure. She looked like Spencer but it couldn't be. Fate wouldn't do that to me once again. I was waiting to see her face. Make sure that it was her and not my mind playing tricks. When she turned I saw her. My legs were frozen and I couldn't move. I was there looking at her without being able to do anything. And what I could do really. Call her name? Trying to catch her? All I did was to turn over and walk away.

"Aouts"

"I am so sorry I didn't see where I was going"

"It's ok" That voice. No. It wasn't her. It couldn't be her. I slowly turned my face and found myself drawing to a pool of blue. Her blue

"Spencer"

"Ash..ley?"

We stood there, looking at each other. Nothing but looking. I was looking at her and she was looking back to me. She was the same girl but yet she seemed so different. Right in front of me I had the 24 year old Spencer and not the 19 year old. She was so grown up and I couldn't take my eyes off her.

Before we say anything else I heard Chloy from behind me. For a moment I wish she wasn't there. For a moment I was hoping I could say something more than 'Spencer'.

"Hey baby. Have you finished your shopping?" she said and kissed my chick. My eyes were still on Spencer though. She didn't seem surprise. She just smiled at me.

"Ah yeah."

"Is everything ok?" Chloy said looking at me and then Spencer.

"Yes, actually I fell on your friend. I wasn't looking where I was going. My fault. I am sorry again" she said looking at me with those eyes that up until now keep hunting me.

"It's.. ok.."

"I am sorry again" before I understand what was happening she was out of sight. As I found her, I lost her for one more time. And why on earth she smiled at me when she saw Chloy? Why she didn't seem surprise? And why she seemed like she didn't know me. Fuck me. So many questions and for once I really want these answers.

"Ok. I think we have everything. Ashley? Ash?"

"Yeah, yeah. We have everything"

"Are you ok? You seem kind of lost"

"No, I am ok. Perfect actually." Not perfect. Frustrated

"Are you sure. You really seem like you have seen a ghost or something"

"Chloy, I am ok. Ok? Now let's pay and go home"

I was hoping I could see her at the cashier but she wasn't there. She was nowhere to be found. I searched the parking lot but she wasn't there either.

All the way back home I was thinking of Spencer's smile. Was a real smile? A sad smile? What kind of smile she gave to me? What an irony? I saw her again at the same place I met her. Someone really likes me. This afternoon would be interesting.

The dinner was at 8.30pm. Kyla told me that they would come earlier so we could meet Paul. I was curious for the guy. He sounded nice and I hoped he was for his shake. I showered alone although Chloy was insisting of taking a shower together. I couldn't. She didn't say anything for one more time. We were ready at 6pm and were waiting for Kyla and her boyfriend as she was calling him all day long. She could be very annoying.

At 6.30pm I heard the door opening and finally we could meet the 'boyfriend'

"How's my favorite girls?"

"We are ok Kyla. You look nice"

"Thanks Chloy. You too. This is my Paul. Paul this is my sister Ashley and this is her girlfriend Chloy"

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, she is my girlfriend. You didn't know?"

"Kyla didn't tell me"

"Of course I did. I told you about Ashley and her girlfriend"

"But I thought like girlfriends girlfriends. Not like girlfriends like in a relationship girlfriends"

"Do you have a problem with that Paul?" I was starting to get angry. He had a nerve coming to my home, meeting me from the first time and being homophobic? Really Paul?

"Oh, no. God no. Please. You can kiss if you like. I don't have a problem with that"

"Thank you for giving us permission Paul" if he continued like that I think this meeting wouldn't go well

"Anyway. Can we sit now?"

"Yeah" Chloy held my hand and whispered to me _'be nice'._

Paul was 27 years old like Kyla. He was working in a company that had to do with networks I believe. He seemed ok if he didn't look at me and Chloy all the time.

"Kyla, can I talk with you please for a second?"

"Yeah, of course"

Once we were inside the kitchen I held her hand and tried to tell her what she couldn't see.

"Kyla, are you serious about him?"

"yes, I am. Why? You don't like him?"

"Have you seen how he looks at me and Chloy?"

"No"

"Really? Kyla the guy is a perv. I am sure he is thinking of us naked doing each other"

"Ashley you are overreacting"

"Kyla. I know how guys think when they meet a lesbian. And considering your taste in men I don't think.."

"My taste in men?"

"Yes, your taste in men. Where should I start? Aiden? That guy with the tattoos? Jake? And now Paul? Really Kyla? I am sure you can do better than that

"You are something else Ashley Davies. My taste in men? Why don't you look at yourself? You have something good here and you are trying to sabotage your relationship for someone who doesn't even worth it. For someone who tossed you away like you were nothing. Don't talk about my relationships Ashley when clearly you don't know what is good for you"

We were screaming to each other and I believe that the people inside the living room could hear us pretty well because while Kyla was stating the obvious, Chloy was there looking at me.

* * *

**TBC**

**Whose in for drama? I am. We are getting there..  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys.. Thank you very much for your wonderful reviews and your thoughts about the girls. We are still at the beginning.. Don't forget that.. Hope you like this chapter too. It has both POV's**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Being Greek I read about the fates. I am sure you know what I mean. The Fates that rule our lives. Looking our past, our present and future. I believe that one of them is hunting me and is the one of the past.

All these years I never forgot about Ashley. I never took her out of my mind. She was always there. Showing me my mistakes, my wrong decisions. I tried really hard to move on but I couldn't. It's not that I didn't have relationships but being with someone for a month you don't call it a relationship. So pretty much I was a loner after Mary. I had eyes only for my work and my studies.

Inside me I wish I could see her again. See her face one more time. Maybe talk with her and tell her how sorry I am. But every time I would rethink of it because I am sure she wouldn't like to see me. I was sure she moved on. She wouldn't wait for me for ever or forgive me. I didn't expect her to do that.

When I decided to come back here for my vacation I hoped but I didn't expect the fates to play with me again. When I met with Samantha she told me about Ashley and some girl. That day I knew she moved on. I was sad but I couldn't be mad. Seeing her though at the same supermarket where I met her with her girlfriend really got me.

Have you ever been in love? I don't know how it is with everyone but for me is heavenly. When I was with Ashley the world came to a standstill. All I could hear was my heart and hers beating with the same rhythm. I knew she was near only because my heart would beat faster. That's what love meant for me.

That day at the supermarket I felt the same thing. I felt my heart beat like before. I thought that it couldn't be. My heart hadn't beaten like that for a long time and for no one. It was only her that made me feel that way. It was like a six sense or something. I didn't want to think more to that and I just walked to the cashier. If Ashley was the reason my heart was beating I wouldn't know what to do, how to react, what to say. So I just left. Little did I know that my past would be right there. Seeing her after four years. Meeting her like the first time. Only this time she was the one that fell on me_. __"I am so sorry I didn't see where I was going" _. Her voice. That husky voice that still echoed inside me. I could never forget her voice. All I could say was _'it's ok' _till she looked at me surprised. What emotions were coming through her? What she was thinking right now? And then I heard my name. It always felt different when she was saying my name. It felt right. Like my name was only for her to call. And all I did was to say her name back.

We were looking at each other and then my world shattered. Then I knew what I had and what I lost. Ashley's was no more mine. Ashley was now someone else's. Because a girl called her 'baby' and a girl that wasn't me was kissing her cheek. She was ok. She looked cute and nice. Not that I am an expert but she was ok. Somewhere inside I felt jealous. But in seconds I thought I shouldn't. I smiled at them and went the other way. Now I was sure that Ashley and I were long finished. The hope I may had now was gone. They say that hope dies last. I did have hope. Maybe a false hope but I had one.

I left whatever I was carrying and left the supermarket right away. I wasn't ready to see them again. I wasn't ready to see Ashley moving on. It's different when you think that your love of your life is moving on with her life than practically seeing her doing that. No one to blame but myself.

**Ashley's POV**

What I was trying the last two years was to avoid any conversation about me and Spencer. But Kyla couldn't keep her mouth shut. She had to yell so anyone on this fucking building knew what was going on. And most of all Chloy heard something that she shouldn't.

I wasn't trying to sabotage my relationship as Kyla told me. I wasn't trying to hurt Chloy. I was just confused with everything that was happening with Spencer. Seeing her at the airport and then being able to see her in person and touch her. Everything was overwhelming. Everything was too much for me.

When we realized that Chloy was there Kyla looked at me. She knew what she said. I knew she liked Chloy very much. We were looking at each other. Not saying anything. Silence. Except the perv guy.

"Well, I think I should go"

"I think you should Paul"

"I am going to come with you. Wait" Kyla looked at me one more time, pissed that I thought that her perv boyfriend should go. I am glad she left with him. I wasn't glad that Chloy still wasn't say anything after the door was closed.

"Chloy?"

"Ashley, what was Kyla meant with all that?"

"Don't mind Kyla. She didn't mean anything"

"Ashley, you are talking with me. I am not stupid and I am not a child to patronize. So if you care about me and feel something for me tell me what Kyla meant"

"Chloy, of course I care about you. I love you" I said while I was coming closer to her. I wanted nothing more but to take back what my stupid sister said minutes ago.

"Then tell me. Tell me what Kyla meant. Are you trying to sabotage our relationship Ashley? It's about her, isn't it?"

"Who?"

"You know who I mean. Spencer" Chloy saying Spencer's name was so wrong. It felt wrong. And why her first thought was Spencer? "Ashley I am not stupid. I am just very in love with you. Two years together and I never asked you about your relationships. I didn't want to because what mattered to me was that you were with me and not with those people. But I could see your face when we would say Spencer's name. I still remember your face that night at the club when I first met Samantha and Greg. And I see the same face now."

"Chloy, Spencer is.."

"Spencer is someone that you really loved and I understand that. Do you love me Ashley?"

"Of course I do. Chloy, I love you"

"Are you in love with me?"

Her question caught me off guard. Her question was something I knew from the beginning. My answer though wasn't what I knew. My answer was something Chloy would like to hear. And I didn't want to lose her. She was important to me.

"Yes, I am."

"Are you sure Ashley? Because I know I am in love with you. Don't say it only because you have to"

"Chloy I am in love with you. I love you. Spencer is my past. I loved her. I did. She hurt me very bad. But then I met you and I forgot her. I am with you now. Don't listen to Kyla. She was just pissed that I told her that her boyfriend is a perv."

"Ashley.."

"Chloy I am with you. Ok? No Spencer. Not anyone. You and me. Can I kiss you now?"

"Ashley, are you sure?"

"Definitely. Now can I kiss you?"

For one more time I was lying to myself. I was wrong. I was so wrong. But I didn't want to leave Chloy. I loved her. Maybe I was selfish but I had to start to forget Spencer and start falling in love with Chloy. Because she was someone that you really can fall for. I should forget Spencer. I should forget about her. If I am saying this to myself every day maybe one day I will be able. Maybe some day I will be able to love Chloy as she deserves to.

* * *

**TBC**

**I am sure you like Chloy and deslike Ashley right now. Well my girlfriend likes Chloy too. As Irishgrl33 said 'the heart wants what the heart wants'. Spencer gets what she deserves **

**Reviews are always welcome  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing and puting this story to your favorite lists.. It really means a lot..**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Ashley's POV**

Once we were back to our room I took her hand and guided her to our bed as every night. She was looking at me with those eyes I loved. The eyes I was finding myself lost every time. I came closer to her and closed the gap between our bodies. My hands behind her back, caressing her with my fingers. She was kissing my neck and I could feel her lips touching my skin. Wherever she was kissing me it felt like a burn. Her kisses always burned me.

She gave me a full kiss on my lips with so much passion and want. It was the same want I had for her. I wanted nothing more to make her mine. Touch her and show her how she made me feel. She took off my shirt and started touching my naked torso. No bra needed. I was already partly naked. Wearing clothes or not I was naked infront of her. She could see me. She knew me so well. Her hands on my breasts felt amazing. She was still kissing me while her one hand was massaging my right breast and her other was unbuttoning my pants. I felt her hand going inside my panties and oh my god, I wanted her so much.. _' you are so wet Ash..' _. I was so wet and ready for her to make love to me_.. 'mmm.. I want you Spence..' _

"Ash? Ashley?"

"Mmm?"

"Ash.. You still moan. Are you ok baby? You were dreaming" I opened my eyes and found Chloy looking at me. I was moaning. I was dreaming of Spencer again. I was dreaming of making love to her for one more night.

"I am baby.. I was dreaming of us" lie again. Lie as you always do Ashley. Be an asshole for one more time. Make love to Chloy to forget Spencer.

"Was it a good dream?" I came closer to her and kissed her lips. I let my hand travel to her body that was still naked after we had sex earlier tonight.

"Very good" my hand was finding its way to her center. I could hear her moan under my touch. Sex between Chloy and I were always good. No problem in that area.

"Ash.. I am still sore from earlier baby.."

"Shh.."

I wanted to take her out of my mind. I wanted to stop dreaming of her every night. I wanted to forget. I moved our sheet and now I was between her legs. My breasts touching her abs, my center touching hers. I was kissing her nipples, while I was moving my body back and forth making our clits grind with each other.

"God, Ash.. Mmm.. baby"

"I want you so bad Sp..Chloy" no Spencer. No Spencer. Chloy. I was making love to Chloy and not Spencer. Thank God she didn't hear me. "I want you so bad baby"

I entered her with two of my fingers and started stroking her in and out slow at first and then harder and faster.

"Faster baby"

I did as she asked. I was fucking her with my fingers fast and hard. I could feel her walls tighten my fingers and I knew she would come. I took my fingers out and started rubbing her clit in circles. I knew she was ready. She was moving her body and I could feel that she was ready.

"Come for me baby"

"Fuck Ash.. I.. I am going to.. come baby.. Mmm.. yes.."

"You are amazing baby"

"Mmm.. you are amazing yourself too. You took advantage of my body again"

"I can't get enough of you. That's all"

"These last days when we are making love it's different but I like it"

It was different. It started being different since I saw Spencer at the airport. Since I touched her and heard her voice again. When we would start being intimate I would start being tender and slow and then I would fuck her hard and fast. Wanted nothing more than to come. It was different and she knew it. I hoped she didn't hear me almost calling her Spencer.

"Good. Now let's get some sleep. We both have to wake up early tomorrow"

"Are you still going to the open mic this Friday?"

"I think so"

"Last time you backed out. Ash baby, you really have the most amazing voice. Why don't you go?"

"I think I'll go this time. I am going to call them tomorrow"

"Perfect. Because we are two years together and I heard you sing only one time and that was because I came home earlier. Why don't you sing?"

I stopped singing when I broke up with Spencer. That's why. I stopped singing because I lost the reason that was making me write lyrics and sign. And she was the first one that would listen to my songs. She was the one that I was singing to. That's why I stopped singing.

"Well, you are going to listen to me sign this Friday"

"Are you going to tell Kyla?"

"I don't know"

"Ash, it's your sister. Don't you think that you should let behind whatever happened and be good sisters again?"

"Chloy I am not one of your patients. Ok?"

"Ash.. I am not your psychologist. I am trying to be your girlfriend"

"I know. I am sorry. But the thing with Kyla is that she doesn't look at her business."

"She is your sister"

"I will see. Now let's go to sleep. Ok? I love you"

"I love you too"

Next morning came so fast, as the next and the next till Friday was here. I called Kyla and we said our sorry to each other. I knew why she was reacting that way with Spencer. She was afraid that I would hurt myself again and then I would hurt Chloy. I didn't know what Chloy had that Kyla liked so much. She met Spencer, she liked her. But with Chloy it was different. And Chloy liked her very much too. If I didn't know any better I would say that my sister 'liked' my girlfriend. Nah.. That would never happen.

I called Sammy and Greg and told them about Friday. I needed my friends around me for support. I needed them there.

**Spencer's POV**

I was already three weeks in California. Three weeks and I saw her once. I saw her at the same place that we met for the first time. I should laugh because that's a big irony. To tell you the truth I don't know if I want to see her again. Because now it hurts. It hurts seeing her with someone else. It hurts because she is with someone else. And it hurts because it was my fault. I was trying not to think of her. I was trying to relax and hang out with my friends that I missed. Talk with my grandfather and meeting with his brother, as he called him after so many years, Peter. My escape was always the ocean. Where I would walk along the beach, with my bare feet on the sand and my Aviator's hiding my eyes. Where I would sit and see the sunset every day and return back home lonely as ever.

Sammy didn't leave me alone though. She would always find time for us to hang out. Actually she was pressuring me to go out. Quoting her words 'You are not a nun. So go get dress and let's go fucking out'. She told me about the open mic this Friday. I really didn't want to go but I remembered that last time was ok. I had fun, that's so true. So like I could say no to her, I told her yes and here I am now dressing to have another night out in California. I am just curious if I am going to see Elvis tonight.

"Are you ready yet?"

"Sammy, will you just stop calling me every five minutes asking me if I am ready? If you don't stop I may be not ready"

"Look sexy tonight"

"Any particular reason?"

"You are a girl and single. So, be sexy tonight"

"I really like your reasons. There are deep"

"Go get ready smartass"

"Ok.. See you in about.. half an hour"

"We will come and pick you up"

"Ok. See ya"

"Bye Spencie"

Of course I was ready before Sammy call. I don't like being late. In only an hour I have taken my shower, dried my hair, I was dressed and my make up was ready. I was fast. I was wearing my favorite tight skinny jeans, with a long blue sleeveless shirt, my belt and my purple bra. I let the stripes from my bra showing because I really liked it when they did. I wore my black leather bracelet and my black heels. One last check on the mirror, putting my cherry gloss and I was ready.

"Bye grandpa. See you tomorrow"

"Have fun kiddo. You are still young" I kissed my grandpa and went out to find Sammy and Greg kissing while waiting. I still couldn't believe that these two were together.

"Sorry to interrupt your love festival but I am here"

"Spencie" they both looked at me and said 'Spencie' unison

"When are you going to stop calling me Spencie. My name is Spencer"

"But it's so cute Spencie"

"Whatever Sammy. Now, are we ready? Can we go leave now?"

"Feisty.. I like"

"Greg, just drive"

"Yes maam"

I felt bad for not keeping in touch all these years and I am feeling happy that both Sammy and Greg took me back regardless. I guess this is what we call 'being a friend'. I really thank God that I had them in my life.

When we arrived at Ego the line was big. I was wondering how we would get inside. We would need an hour.

"Sammy. The place is packed."

"Don't worry. Follow me"

We followed her as she told us and for one more time Sammy left me with my mouth open. She said something to the guy that was at the door and he let us get inside. My friend was amazing.

"What did you tell the guy?"

"That my sister was playing tonight"

"But you don't have a sister"

"Spencer, stop asking questions. We are in. Aren't we?"

"Ok. Ok. Whatever"

"Now, come. We have sits. Don't ask Spencer"

"I didn't say anything"

"You were ready"

"Whatever"

The place was even more crowded than the last time we were here. Sammy found us sits and they were close so we could see the new singers to be. Greg came with our drinks and now we were waiting for the night to start. The lights turned on and a lady started to talk..

"Wow guys. Thank you for being here tonight. You see, tonight a very good friend of mine will make me the honor to sign her beautiful songs. Some of you may know her father. I am sure he would be very proud of her tonight. So without more rambling, here is Ashley Davies"

Ashley? Ashley would sign tonight? Sammy knew and she didn't tell me anything. I turned my face and looked at her. She knew what I would ask. Why? But seeing Ashley again being on the stage and listening to her voice I really couldn't think anything else but Ashley.

"Hey guys. Thank you for being here tonight. It really means a lot. It's been a long time since my last time so forgive me. Ok?"

It was the first time after four years that I was able to hear her voice. Every night I would dream her voice before I go to bed. But here I am now. Being so close but yet so far away from her.

She started playing a song that I already knew. It was her favorite song. Her father's song. 'Hold on'. And I was really holding on right now. I was holding back my tears. I was holding myself not to leave this place because I was hurting so much. Like Sammy knew how I was feeling she touched my hand telling me with her way that she was here.

Once she finished her song everyone applaud. She was amazing. She always was. I from the other hand stayed there looking at her. Looking how good she looked. She was still my Ashley. But I guess she wasn't mine anymore.

"Now, let me sign this song to my lovely girlfriend that is here tonight with my sister. Babe, this is for you"

Her girlfriend was here and I was here. Ex-girlfriend and current girlfriend. I couldn't listen to the song she was signing to her. I couldn't. I didn't want to. This was way too much.

"Sammy I need to go"

"Spencer, please. Don't go"

"Sammy you knew she would sign tonight. Why? You knew she had a girlfriend. Why?"

"Because I believe that you and Ashley are meant to be. That's why"

"Sammy, she has a girlfriend"

"Ashley and you are meant to be. You just have to find yourselves again"

"I am not going to stay to find that Sammy. I'll grab a taxi"

When I stood up from our table the lights turned on again and it was when Ashley was finishing her song. I wanted to take one last look of her before I leave. One last look before I let her go. But what I didn't know was that her eyes would meet mine. That she would look at me and instantly I would feel naked. I took my bag and run to find the exit.

I was outside tried to breathe again. I was outside trying to find the reasons why I let her go that day. I tried to think why I hurt so much when I see her and think of her. I was trying to let go. I had to.

"Spencer" I thought it was my mind or the wind. It couldn't be her calling my name. It couldn't be Ashley. I stayed there not turning back. I heard me name again "Spencer". I turned my head and I found Ashley. I turned my head and I looked at her beautiful eyes. The brown I loved.

"Why are you here? Why you came here tonight? Why now? Why?"

"Ashley.."

"Spencer.. I can't do this. I can't."

"I understand. I will just leave"

"You always do that Spencer. You always did"

"Ashley.. I am so sorry for everything. I don't want to leave but I can't stay either. What do you want me to do?"

"For one time stay. Stay and tell me. Tell me you loved me that night"

"Ash.." I came closer to her and cupped her face with my hands. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her tears. And that I did.

"I love you Ashley. I never stopped loving you. You are my one. I am sorry for everything." I couldn't resist and kissed her lips. The lips I was kissing every night when we were together. The lips I kissed at that beach the last time I let her go. "I will always love you. Hope you are happy. Because if you are happy I am"

Just right then I let her go. I meant what I said. If she was happy I was too. I needed her to know that I loved her. I will always love her. Because she is my one. She will always be my one.

* * *

**TBC**

**Well.. I have to say that i really really liked this chapter.. Tell me what you think. Did you find it interesting, not interesting? I love reading your thoughts..**

**Reviews are always welcome  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**I am glad i have Greek readers, i didn't expect that**.. **So.. efharisto paidia! (i just said thanks)**. **This is an early update. I won't be able to update tomorrow. Thank you again for all your wonderful reviews. It really makes me going..**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**Ashley's POV**

It felt good singing again. It felt good expressing what I was feeling. My music always helped me doing that. It's been a long time since the last time. I was anxious, nervous. When I stepped on that stage I felt my heart beat. I thought it was me being nervous. But it wasn't that. You and I both know that it wasn't that. I knew that she was here. My heart beat like that only with Spencer. I had to find her. See where she was.

"Hey guys. Thank you for being here tonight. It really means a lot. It's been a long time since my last time so forgive me. Ok?"

My eyes kept searching in case I found where she was sitting but I couldn't because it was dark and the lights were on me. I started singing my favorite song that after the first time it became our song. I gave all of myself to that song because it was her who I was singing to.

Right in front of me was Kyla and Chloy supporting me as always. Chloy asked me if I would dedicate a song to her. In her eyes I would be a rock star dedicating a song to her girlfriend. And that I did knowing that Spencer was here. Maybe I wanted to hurt her as she hurt me. Maybe I wanted her to know that I moved on. But you and I both know that this was a mistake. I thought I did move on.

"Now, let me sign this song to my lovely girlfriend that is here tonight with my sister. Babe, this is for you"

I sang my song to Chloy that she was looking at me like I was her Goddess. I hated what I was doing to her. She didn't deserve me as I didn't deserve her. When I finished I saw her. She was looking back at me and I was doing the same. She was leaving. For one more time she was doing what she was good at. But not this time. I wouldn't let her go. I couldn't go on like this.

"Guys, will you forgive me for a moment? I.. just.. need to.. you know.. girls room.. I'll be back"

Chloy came closer and held my hand asking me if I was alright. I assured her that everything was perfect and run to the exit that thank god was close to the restrooms. Before I reach the door I felt someone holding my hand. It was Sammy..

"Ash.."

"I know.."

"Go stop her"

I didn't say anything else. I followed Spencer outside. She was out there, holding herself. I wanted nothing more to take her in my arms again. Although she hurt me so much I was finding myself wanting to be closer and closer to her. I wanted to ask her why. I called her name but she didn't turn her head. I called her name again and then I saw her. I saw her cerulean eyes being teary, blurry. She was crying.

"Why are you here? Why you came here tonight? Why now? Why?" I had so many questions to ask her. But most of all I wanted to ask her why she was back.

"Ashley.."

"Spencer.. I can't do this. I can't."

"I understand. I will just leave"

I couldn't let her go. Not again. It was always like that. She was leaving. Now she had to stay. She had to stay and tell me

"You always do that Spencer. You always did"

"Ashley.. I am so sorry for everything. I don't want to leave but I can't stay either. What do you want me to do?"

"For one time stay. Stay and tell me. Tell me you loved me that night" she knew what I meant. She knew because I saw that in her eyes. I still remember that night. She told she didn't love me.

"I love you Ashley. I never stopped loving you. You are my one. I am sorry for everything." And then she kissed me. She kissed me and I thought I had forgotten her kisses. How they tasted, how they felt. Her lips on mine. "I will always love you. Hope you are happy. Because if you are happy I am"

And I knew what she meant. Chloy. Was I happy though? Did she mean what she said? Why she had to be like that? Why she had to be back now and not two years ago? Why I was keep asking questions that I don't know if she could give me answers.

"I loved you Spencer. I loved you since the moment I met you. I never stopped as much as I tried."

She was ready to let me go. But this time was different. This time she was telling me she loved me. This was a new scene we were making.

"Ash.." she came closer. I wanted nothing more but to kiss her one more time. To feel her. To touch her.

"Ashley what the fuck"

"Kyla" I heard Kyla's name from Spencer. Kyla. She was outside.

"You. You have a lot of nerve coming here. And you. Are you a masochist or something?"

"Kyla shut up"

"NO. I won't shut up. What the fuck Ashley?"

"Kyla, let me explain" Spencer said whispering. I could see that she was holding herself back

"You don't get to talk if I don't say so"

"Kyla shut the fuck up. You are not my mother"

"I am your sister you asshole. I was there when you were crying for weeks. I was there when you were crying every night over her. Remember her? She was the one that told you she didn't love you. The one that tossed you away. She is the one and she is standing in front of you and you were ready to kiss her."

"I wasn't ready to kiss her"

"And you have a girlfriend you idiot. A girlfriend that loves you and waits you right now inside. She doesn't have a clue right?"

"Kyla, please let me explain. I am not here to do any harm"

"Yeah right. So why are you back Spencer? Tell me."

"I came to visit. That's all"

"And it just happened for you to be here tonight right?"

"Sammy told me about tonight"

"Kyla it's not your fucking business what I am fucking doing with my life. Do you understand? Go back inside"

"Not without you"

"KYLA. Go inside"

Everyone was looking at us but I didn't care. I didn't care because Kyla asked something I asked. She was here to visit. I hoped she was back here for me. That four years later she came back for me and wanted to fight for me. But she was here for a visit.

"I am going inside"

"Ashley, please"

"I loved you Spencer. I really did. You broke my heart and I don't know if I can let that happen again"

"Ashley I didn't come here only for my grandparents. I came because you were here. I didn't know how to reach you and if you would like to talk to me. I meant what I said. I am so sorry Ash. That night my heart broke too. I loved you. I should have said that and not the opposite"

"Why you did that then?"

"I want to tell you everything. Would you like to meet me for a coffee one of these days? It's all I ask."

I wanted her to tell me everything. I wanted to see what she had to say. Why she said what she said.

"Ok. Tomorrow at Starbucks. 9am"

"Thank you"

I made a move to go back inside but I heard her calling my name again. It felt strange but nice. I missed hearing her voice.

"Ash.. I love you.

I wanted to tell her the same. I wanted to tell her that I will always love her. But inside I had someone that was waiting for me. I had someone that I told I was in love with when I wasn't. Inside I had someone that I would hurt because I knew what my heart wanted. What I was afraid was letting my heart be broken again by the same person.

"See you tomorrow Spencer"

Looking at the blue I loved, I let her and went inside to find Chloy, Kyla, Sammy and Greg in one table talking.

"Hey baby. You are back. What happened?" Chloy seemed like she didn't know. I am glad Kyla didn't tell her anything

"I wasn't feeling that well"

"My baby is not feeling well?"

"Yeah, I think we should go."

"Ok. Kyla are you coming with us?"

"No. I will stay. Thanks"

"Ashley? Can I talk with you for a sec?"

"Yeah. I am sorry babe. I'll be back"

Sammy was a good friend to me and to Spencer. So I knew what she wanted to tell me.

"Ashley, I am sorry for what happened outside"

"You know?"

"I am sure it wasn't nice. It's you and Spencer we are talking about. I am sorry because it was me that brought Spencer here"

"It's ok Sammy. Really"

"I told her the same with what I am going to tell you right now. You are meant to be with each other. You are like the yin and the yan."

"I know"

"You know?"

"I always knew that Sammy. But Spencer hurt me really bad. I don't know if I can let her do that to my heart again"

"She is changed Ash"

"I don't know what to do Sam. I just don't know. I am afraid"

"Would you rather lying to yourself or get hurt? Would you rather give a chance to someone you really love or lie to someone that you don't?"

"My heart.."

"Your heart is Spencer. You know it. I know it. The whole world knows it. Step by step. But give her a chance to explain. Because she really loves you Ashley"

"And I love her"

"Tell me something I don't know"

"We are going to meet tomorrow"

"Perfect"

"What am I going to do with Chloy?"

"That I don't know"

"Thanks a lot"

"Now let's go back because I can see that they are looking at us"

When we found them Chloy was talking with Kyla. Kyla was really angry and I didn't know what she would say or do. If anything I was the one that had to find a way to tell Chloy about Spencer. I knew what I had to do but it had to wait. Just for a little while.

* * *

**TBC**

**Hmmm.. What Ashley will do? Any thoughts?**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys.. I am sorry for being absent these days but now i am back.. Enjoy the new chapter**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**Ashley's POV**

I couldn't believe what was happening. I couldn't believe that all this was happening to me. Emotions I thought I didn't have any more. Emotions that I shouldn't have but yet they existed. Spencer was there. She never left me. She was always beating inside me. And from the other hand I had Chloy. Someone I really loved but at the end I couldn't fall in love. Someone I didn't deserve. And tonight I knew why. I knew what I had to do. It would be hard but I had to let her go.

On our way back home we didn't talk. Chloy knew me so well. She could read me and she knew that something was wrong. I wasn't a good liar but yet I lied to her over and over. Once we were outside her apartment she asked me but I couldn't give her the answers she wanted right there.

"Ashley? Is everything alright?"

"Can we go inside?"

My voice was low. Showing her that I really needed to tell her something. But really, how you break up with your girlfriend? How can you really tell her that you weren't in love with her? She didn't say anything for one more time and she just opened the door so we could go inside and I just followed her in.

"You were really good tonight Ashley. I am glad I heard you sign"

"Thank you"

"And I loved your opening song. 'Hold on'"

"It's a special song"

"It is"

Her eyes were telling me our story. I could see in her eyes how we met and how we found ourselves in a long term relationship. In her eyes I could see my lies but I could see the love I had for her too. She was an open book for me to read.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"A glass of red wine please"

I lost her when she went at her kitchen. I was losing myself minute after minute in deep thoughts of how I would start this conversation. I didn't even hear her calling my name.

"Where were you?"

"I was thinking"

"A penny for your thoughts?"

"Chloy.." I said holding my glass of wine tighter in my hands. I couldn't do to her what Spencer did to me.

"Tell me" she said and she put her hand behind me, stroking my hair

"I don't know how to tell you what I want"

"Be yourself. Be the Ashley I love"

"I want to tell you about Spencer. Who she is. What we were. I want you to know so that it will be much easier"

"It will be easier for me or for you Ashley?" I couldn't understand her calm tone. I couldn't understand why her hand was still caressing my back.

"For both of us"

I was still holding my glass of red wine while telling my girlfriend about Spencer. The only person that I fell for the first time in my life and the only person that broke my heart. I was telling her that Spencer was back in my life. I was telling her that I really loved her but at the end I couldn't fall in love with her. And all she did was just look back at me.

"So why?"

"Why what?"

"So why you told me you were in love with me when you weren't? Why although I asked you if you were sure about us you told me you were? Why you stayed when all you wanted was to leave? Why?"

"I.. don't know"

"Let me answer for you. You stayed because you were afraid that you would be lonely. You stayed because you thought that I could be your Spencer one day when I was only Chloy. You said you loved me because you thought you did"

"I do love you Chloy. I do"

"But you were never in love with me. I was just someone"

"You weren't someone. I was with you because I wanted to be with you. I stayed in this relationship because.."

"Stop Ashley. There is no need. Inside I always knew that I didn't have your heart. We didn't talk about Spencer and that's how I knew that you never stopped loving her"

While I was listening to her I couldn't help but let my tears fall. She was right. At the end when you don't discuss something it doesn't mean that it's not already there. And Spencer was always there.

"And although I let myself love you and fall for you I can't keep you while you want to fly away."

"Chloy.."

"Ashley you thought I didn't know? I am not stupid. I saw you with Spencer outside the club. It was the girl from the supermarket. Wasn't she?"

"How? Why we are talking about us like that? Why are you so calm?"

"What did you want me to do? Scream? Cry? I would do that if I had something to lose. But you weren't mine. From the beginning you were always hers"

"What did you hear?"

"I didn't stay long to hear you talking with Spencer. I saw your kiss and that was enough. You are free to go Ashley."

She said that and she moved from the couch. She said that and I couldn't hold my tears back. At the end I hurt someone that didn't deserve to be hurt. No one does. But at the end I had to start being true to myself and to Chloy. For once I had to put her first.

I found her at her kitchen, her back facing me. I wanted to say that I loved her but could I? I wanted to have her in my life as a friend but I couldn't be so selfish. It wouldn't be right. All I said was _'goodbye.. I am sorry'_

Leaving her behind it wasn't easy for me. But as she said I knew what my heart wanted and I knew it from the beginning. My heart though was afraid of being hurt again. I guess it was something that I would find sooner or later.

Once I was back I thanked God that Kyla wasn't home. That girl was really starting to piss me off. I turned my lights on and I headed to the bathroom. I wanted nothing more than to take off the night from my body. I wanted nothing more than to forget. I stayed inside my shower for half an hour letting the water touch my body. Once I was at my room I heard my apartment door opening and close with a lot of force.

"Ashley fucking Davies" I wasn't that lucky.. Kyla was here and I would have to talk with her when all I needed was to relax and not to think of how much I hurt Chloy. "Where are you? Ah.. Here you are. Look at you. All showered and fresh. Really Ashley?"

"Kyla, leave. I have nothing to say to you"

"Do you know that Chloy called me and told me that you broke up?"

"We did. What is your problem? I can't understand. Is it because that you can't really choose a boyfriend and I am telling you that?"

"You really don't get it"

"If you want to be with someone that is not good for you it's your choice. It's not my problem. Actually from now on I won't even tell you what to do. Do you know why? Because it's your FUCKING CHOICE. Now leave me alone"

"Spencer. You didn't forget about her. After four years you couldn't move on"

"No. Now leave"

"What she had that Chloy or anybody else didn't"

"She is the one. My soul mate. That's what she has that no one else does"

And that was nothing but the truth. Spencer was the one. I knew it. I felt it. She was my soul mate. And maybe my heart is scared right now but my heart beats only when Spencer is near. Because she will always be my one and only.

After what I said Kyla came closer to my bed and laid next to me. We didn't say anything. We were just looking at the ceiling.

"Do you know what Ash?"

"What?"

"I really envy you"

"Why?"

"Because you found your one. And maybe I am telling you that Spencer hurt you and you shouldn't be together but when you were with her you were the happiest I ever have seen you. When you were with Chloy you weren't the same"

"I loved Chloy. I thought I could really love her. But.."

"Spencer"

"Yeah"

"So what are you going to do from now?"

"Tomorrow I am going to meet with her. We have a lot to talk about. But most of all I missed looking at her eyes."

"I guess I got my answer"

"Yeah"

"Goodnight Ash. Sorry for being a bitch"

"You were but I guess that's what sister's supposed to do. I meant what I said though. It's your choice. I will try to like them and not be a bitch"

"I just hope that someday, somewhere I am going to meet my one"

"I hope you do"

Today was hard. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. All I know is that tomorrow I will have the answers I was waiting for so long and that tomorrow I will find myself falling in love again. Not that I fell out of love with Spencer. I will find myself losing to her cerulean eyes that I dreamt. Tomorrow it will be a new start..

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Spencer's POV**

Sometimes it's hard to admit to yourself that you made a mistake or mistakes. In my case we all know my mistake.

When Ashley and I were outside Ego I couldn't believe it. Yes, she had questions and yes I wanted nothing more than to answer to everything she wanted to ask me but inside I was smiling that I was looking at her again. That I found myself coming closer to her and kissing her. I don't know how I found the strength to do that.

Sammy was the one that brought me to her and although I wanted to be mad at her I couldn't because she was the reason why I was standing in front of Ashley talking to her.

What I told her I meant it. I loved her. She was the one for me. She will always be. What I didn't expect were that she really wanted to meet me and let me explain. I thought she hated me.

When she left me to go inside I found my way back home. I was nervous for tomorrow but I was waiting for years to be able to explain to her. Not that would erase what I did or how I did it but even criminals have that right. The right to explain, to confess. Not that I am considering myself a criminal. But anyway. You know what I mean.

It was 3am when I got inside and all I wanted was to take a shower and relax. I couldn't sleep. I was stressed from everything. Tomorrow I would see her again. I couldn't call Sammy to tell her. It was too late to call her or text her. I wanted to tell someone what happened but I didn't have anyone. Now all I could do was to wait for the sun to rise and for me to meet the love of my life again.

6am and I was still up. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep because I had so many things in my mind. Ashley was with someone and she seemed happy. I wasn't here to break up her relationship with her girlfriend as much as it was hurting me to see that. I was here to explain myself and answer to her questions. Maybe have her back in my life as a friend. It would cause me pain but if she wanted to be friends with me I would try my best to do that.

6.30am and still up. It was frustrating. I got up, put my running shorts and a tshirt and decided to go to the one place that always calmed me. The ocean.

I was glad that it wasn't that far from my grandparent's house. The sun was starting to rise and the sight was so beautiful. There weren't many people at 7am in the morning. Only surfers. No one like me. No one sitting there, with their fingers and toes hidden under the sand. No one enjoying the sound of the waves. It was only me.

I was there for I don't know how long but now I could sense the sun burning my skin. I forgot to wear my watch but I would say that it was 8am. Only an hour before I meet with Ashley. I hope I could give her the answers she needed. I wish she could see how sorry I was and how much I loved her. I was lost in my thoughts when I heard that voice I loved. When I turned and saw her standing there, looking at me.

"I had a feeling that I would see you here"

"Ashley? What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Relaxing, remembering.."

"Always the ocean eh?"

"Yeah. So what are you doing here?"

She didn't say anything. She sat right next to me. Her hand was so close to mine. Close but never touching..

"Remember when we used to come here watching the sun set?"

"Of course. Those were the best days. It was only you and me"

"When you broke up with me I couldn't come here. It reminded me of you"

"Ash.."

"No, let me finish. Everything reminded me of you. Simple things like ice cream, the sunset, the ocean. Some girl I would see walking on the road. I was lost Spencer. For a very long time. I kept asking myself 'why'. But of course I didn't get any answer because you were the only one who could give them to me and you were gone. Then I met Choy. After so long I managed to let myself open again. Chloy is an amazing person. One in a million. But I couldn't be with her like I should. I couldn't love her as she deserved. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because my heart was aching for you. Because my heart was always yours. Because although you hurt me I still loved you. I still love you"

She was opening herself to me. She was letting me understand what she's been through. How she loved me. And I loved her. I touched her hand and she let me.

"Ash?"

"Mmm?" she still wasn't looking at me. Her eyes watching the ocean.

"I was stupid. I can't tell you how sorry I am for everything I did at that time. I hope for your forgiveness. I hope for your friendship again. I missed you. I cried over you every night. I hated myself for what I told you that night. Because Ash.. I loved you. I still love you. I never stopped. I know that you are with someone else right now and I am not going to interfere with your relationship. I can be whatever you want me to be"

"I broke up with Chloy last night"

"What?"

"We broke up"

"Why?"

"Because I couldn't give to her what she needed. I couldn't be what she wanted. I couldn't love her the way I loved you. I wasn't in love with her. I broke her heart"

"As I broke yours"

"Spencer.."

"No, this is my time to speak. Ashley I was afraid. I was afraid and I was stupid. I know I wasn't a kid but I was scared to death. I want you to know that I wasn't ashamed of us. I could never be. I was afraid of everyone's reaction. And when my parents found out they forbid me from seeing you. Actually my mom. Not my dad. My mom stopped me from College, my mom stopped me from seeing you. And me, loving my mom I listened to her. I listened to her and I lost you. The one good thing in my life. Someone I loved and they loved me back. Breaking up with you it was the biggest mistake of my life. I know I hurt you. I know I break you. I hope that you can forgive me in the future and let me be your friend again. Because I missed you."

"And I missed you. And Spence.."

"Yes?"

"I forgave you the moment I saw you at the airport. To tell you the truth I had nothing to forgive. Yes, I was mad, I was hurt, I was in pain. But I could never hate you"

"At the airport? What do you mean?"

"I saw you the day you landed."

"You knew I was here?"

"Yeap"

"So.. where does that leave us? I mean you and me"

"I don't know. All I know is that I missed you and I want to see the sun set with you again. We will find our way."

"I love you"

"And I love you. Step by step. Day by day. We will find our way. Do you know why?"

"No. Why?"

"Because you and I are meant to be. Maybe not now, not tomorrow but we are meant to be. That's why."

We were meant to be. I knew that and she knew that. As she said we would find our way back to each other and I wanted nothing to more to be all hers again and for her to be mine. I wanted nothing more than to touch her hand and kiss her. Because she was mine and I was hers. I will always be hers.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Ashley's POV**

Falling in love with someone is special. If that someone is your other half you know it. How? You just know. It's a feeling inside that tells you that he or she is your other half. The thing is that you never know how this is going to work out. Like me and Spencer. I knew she was it for me but at the end we didn't work out. But looking at us now that is how I know that she is my other half. Because your soul mate will always find you. And then you just wait. You just wait for your heart to beat again because all this time your heart was dead. And Spencer made my heart beat. That's how I knew.

Nervous for my day with Spencer, just broken up with Chloy and having Kyla sleeping right next to me I couldn't sleep. I was thinking what I would say to her tomorrow. What questions should I ask. What answers she would give me. I was scared. Ashley Davies was scared and that's funny because I have this feeling only with her. Even when she was 18 she made me feel that way. Me, the bitch Ashley Davies. And still after four years she is making me feel that way. I am scared of what she is going to say, I am scared because of the feelings I still have for her, and I am scared because although I know my heart is aching for her, my mind and my logic is holding me back. I am scared to be broken again.

Four years and four weeks. That's how long I was avoiding the ocean. Because that was her place. That was our loving spot. That was her Greece. And for me that was her. I couldn't even go there because every time I would think of her. At that time I wanted nothing more than to forget. But now, now it was so different from before. I was feeling brave. I wanted to be there. It would give me strength for today. It would remind me all the good things and not the bad. It would remind me of me and her.

I got up, wore a jean and tshirt and drove to the ocean. I drove to her. Because today more than ever I wanted to go there. When I parked my car I inhaled the scent of the ocean. I missed it. There weren't so many people there considering that it was 7.30am. Only the crazy surfers but I guess I understand them. I wish I could wake up so early and come here.

I was sitting on my car when I saw a figure sitting on the sand. Blond hair, a hoodie. She was just sitting there. My heart started to beat once again and I knew. It was Spencer. I stood there only looking at her. I didn't know if I should go there or leave. She was a beautiful young woman. She wasn't the same girl when I met her. The difference between the Spencer I met and the Spencer I saw after years was only the age. Then she was a kid but now she was a whole grown up woman. At that moment I knew I wanted to go there and be with her. Tell her I was here..

"I had a feeling that I would see you here"

She turned and I saw her beautiful blue eyes that I missed. They were even brighter because of the sun.

"Ashley? What are you doing here?" my heart guided me to you. I wanted to tell her that but I didn't.

"What are you doing here?"

"Relaxing, remembering.."

She always did that. Whenever she was feeling lost or she wanted to think or to remember of her family she was coming here. And I always find her here. To our favorite place. Me and her and no one else.

"Remember when we used to come here watching the sun set?"

"Of course. Those were the best days. It was only you and me"

"When you broke up with me I couldn't come here. It reminded me of you"

"Ash.."

I wanted nothing more than to tell her how she made me feel. What I had inside this entire long. How we should be together and not apart. That it was always her and not anyone else. That inside I was waiting for her to find me as I always did. And that I did.

And then she told me how she felt. She told me what happened. How scared she was. What her mother did to her. Why we broke up and the most important. She told me what I needed to know. She told me she loved me. She told me she missed me. How right she was. Because I loved her and missed her too.

Someone may ask why I was like this with her. Why I forgave her for what she did to me. The thing is that she did nothing for me to forgive. Relationships are like that. Every person is different. I understood her pain, I understood her agony. What I didn't understand then was why she wasn't like me. I wanted her to be like me. But that was wrong. She couldn't be like me as I couldn't be like her. We love someone as they are. We don't change them. And now I knew better. Now she was here. I didn't say that we would be back together but it was a start. For us just being here. Step by step and day by day we would find our way back to each other.

"Because you and I are meant to be. Maybe not now, not tomorrow but we are meant to be. That's why."

We stayed there till the sun reached its pick and when it was too hot to be outside with clothes. Sometimes I would turn my head and look at her. It seemed so unreal having her here again. Like nothing happened. We were sitting next to each other like we were still together. After four years.

"Do you think we should go? I feel my legs burning"

"Yeah, they said it will be a hot day today"

"Like always. That's why I love California so much"

"Still remembering you of Greece?"

"It's about the weather you know? It's always sunny and I don't believe I could live in a place without sun. Like London for example. If I would go there I would be miserable. Always raining and moody. Greece even in winter has a beautiful sun. You don't need to wear warm clothes in Athens. And it never snows. Maybe in the suburbs but not in the center."

"Don't you miss it? Missing your country I mean"

"Of course I do. But Greece will always be there. It's my roots. It's my home. My job requires me to travel and I wouldn't ask a better job than that"

"Travel?"

"Oh yes.. I am sorry. I didn't tell you. I am a photographer for National Geographic. So pretty much I travel all over the world. I was in South America for a year"

My heart stopped. I was happy for her but now I was thinking that if we were to be together again she would be away for months or even for a year. And I would be here waiting for her, missing her. But I couldn't tell her that. I needed to know first what would happen between us. If we were willing to try the distance relationship. And for God shake we didn't even discuss being together and I am thinking way to far..

"I am happy for you Spence. So you studied photography?"

"Yeah, my other passion. They didn't have a school for what I wanted. But I am happy. And I have the best job in the world. What about you?"

"Well, I finished college at last and now I am giving guitar lessons to kids"

"Wow.. You finally did it eh? I am glad. They are lucky to have a teacher like you. You are amazing Ash.." she said and touched my hand while looking at me. At that moment I wanted to kiss her so much. I still felt her lips on mine from yesterday. I wanted to feel them again. I leaned closer and she did the same. We wanted the same thing.. We were so close to kiss..

"Ehm.. I think we shouldn't.. I want to Ash.. I really want to kiss you right now but I think we should wait"

"Yeah, you are right. I think that too. So are you ready to go?"

"Yes, I can't feel my legs"

I stood up and gave her my hand to get up. We stayed there looking at each other for seconds and we headed to our cars.

"So.. this is me. Ash.. I really liked this today"

"So did I. Well.. we can meet again for a coffee or something. Do you still have the same number?"

"Yeah, still the same. Give me a call whenever you want."

She came closer and put her hands behind my back. I hugged her too like it was the last time I would see her.

"So.. call me. Ok? Talk to you soon"

"I will. Be safe. Ok?"

"Promise. Bye Ash.."

"Bye Spence"

I stayed there till I couldn't see her car any more. I stayed there thinking of our day together. Talking to each other again like before. Spencer changed and so did I. I was just glad that I had her back in my life. And I wanted her to stay in my life.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

After the talk I had with Ashley at the beach I came home another person. Happier. Like the burden I had on my shoulders had gone. I didn't expect us to have this civil conversation. I didn't expect Ashley to forgive me. I thought that this was the end of us. But Ashley did the unexpected. I love her. I do. I would wait for her as long as she would ask me to. Like she was waiting for me.

When I got home my grandparents were already up and my grandmother was at the kitchen cooking breakfast. I got inside and my grandfather saw immediately my smile. From the day he told me about his brother and that he knew about me and Ashley we came closer. He was someone I could count on. Like the age difference between us weren't an issue. I would go and tell him about Ashley and if I didn't he would ask me. So once I got home he let his newspaper on the table, looked at me and asked me about my day.

"Hey kiddo. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. Everything is perfect grandpa"

"What about the thing you told me the other day?"

"Everything will be alright"

My grandmother was looking back and forth between my grandfather and me. Of course she didn't know about Ashley and why should I tell her something about my life when she clearly made her point about me being gay. So grandpa and I had our code. He knew I would meet with Ashley today. Later I would tell him what happened and what we discussed.

"What is going to be alright?"

"Nothing grandma"

"Oh.. Ok. Did you eat?"

"No. I am starving. What we have for breakfast?"

"I made some pancakes"

"Perfect"

I sat there with them and we had our breakfast. Nothing better than home made pancakes. I kept smiling all the time while being at the table and my grandmother was looking at me having this face that said 'why on earth are you smiling?'. I excused myself and went to my room. I haven't slept at all last night being all nervous for today and I wanted nothing more than to sleep. It's not that I had something planned to do so a nap was much needed.

I took a shower and got to bed right away. I forgot to put my alarm because I thought I would sleep for a couple of hours but when I woke up it was already night. I looked at my watch on my nightstand and it said 8pm. Jesus. I was sleeping for 10 hours. I guess I needed that sleep. I haven't slept like that since my break up with Ashley. I couldn't sleep at night. All I could get was a five hour sleep and that was it. But today I slept and the reason was a brunette with beautiful brown eyes.

I checked my phone and I had three texts. Two from Sammy and one from Ashley. I read Sammy's texts first.

"_Tell me everything. How was it? Did you kiss? What did she tell you? Are you back together? Why you didn't call me? Call me asap. Sam"_

"_Where are you Spencer Carlin? I am dying here. Call me.. Sam"_

Sammy was cute. She was a pain in the ass most of the times but I loved her either way. And she was my best friend. I am glad we were back to being friends like before. I would call her but I wanted to read Ashley's text first. My heart was beating so fast.

"_Hey you. Just wanted to say hi.. Talk to you soon.. Ash"_

She sent me the text at 10am. I was sleeping at that time and now it was 8.30pm and I didn't text her back. I started composing a new text but I thought about calling her. I missed her voice already. I dialed her number and I was waiting for her to pick it up. I was starting to get really nervous. What if she thought I was avoiding her? What if..

"Hello?"

"Hey Ash. It's me. Spencer"

"Spencer, Spencer, Spencer. What did I tell you? Didn't I tell you to stay away from my sister?"

I was thinking about what Ashley would think and I didn't hear Kyla picking up her phone. Now I was scared. Kyla was a nice girl but when she was mad she was scary.

"Ehm.. Kyla. Look. I…"

"You have a lot of nerve calling.." I heard Ashley from the background trying to get her phone from Kyla.

"_Give it to me now Kyla. Kyla, I said give me back my phone"_

"_Ok. Ok. Take it. It's Spencer by the way"_

"Now go"I was still listening to Kyla and Ashley talking to each other. Kyla really didn't like me

"_Spencer__. I am sorry. I just wanted to.." _I could hear Kyla laughing but I didn't know what to get from all that. Kyla hated me or not?

"Sorry for that. She has the tendency to answering my phone. Like she is a kid or something"

"It's ok. I understand her behavior and it's ok. I guess I am not her favorite person right now"

"To tell you the truth you weren't her favorite person"

"Well I hope some day she'll let me explain"

"You have nothing to explain to her. We discussed what we had to discuss and this is between you and me. Not you, me and Kyla"

"Yes, but it's your sister"

"I texted you"

"I am sorry. I was sleeping. I just woke up and read your text."

"You always loved your sleep Spence"

"I haven't slept for a long time Ash. Actually this is the first time I slept for so long"

"You needed that"

"I did. Ehm.. I wanted to ask.. Do you have something planned for tomorrow?"

"I have two lessons but after that I am free"

"Would you like to go out and eat something after you finish?"

"Yes. I will finish round 8pm. Is it good for you?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to come and pick you up or meet at the restaurant or.."

"I'll come and pick you up at 8.30pm. Is it ok?"

"Perfect. Do you want us to go somewhere particular?"

"We will find out tomorrow. I have no problem"

"Ok. No problem either. And Ash.."

"Yes?"

"I missed this. Us talking. I missed you"

"And I missed you. See you tomorrow Spence"

"See you tomorrow Ash. Bye"

"Goodnight Spence"

If I had a big smile on my face before now I believe my smile was even bigger. Although we said what we needed to say to each other, although Ashley was ok I felt kind of nervous around her. Nervous because I wanted to kiss her and touch her and I didn't know how she would feel. We almost kissed and I was the one that stopped it but I didn't know if it was right. But inside I knew it was. As she said to me, we were meant to be together.

While I was on my Ashley world I heard my door knock..

"Yes?"

"Spencer? Can I come in?"

"Yes grandpa. Of course"

"You overslept kiddo"

"I know. I needed that"

"So.. Everything is perfect?"

"We talked grandpa. She told me what she needed to tell me and I did the same. Now we just trying to find each other again"

"Do you still love her?"

"I haven't stopped. I am going to see her tomorrow again"

"Are you going to meet somewhere or she's coming from here?"

"She will come and get me tomorrow at 8.30pm"

"I want to meet her. The first time I didn't have the chance but I want to meet her now"

"Grandpa.."

"It will be alright. I just want to meet the girl that stole my granddaughter's heart"

"Ok."

"Now, will you come down? It's dinner time. Grandma cooked some hamburgers"

"Mmmm.. Tasty. Let's go grandpa"

Tomorrow it will be another day that I will smile and that because of Ashley. I wanted nothing else but to see her every day because I didn't know for how long I would be here. But now it wasn't the time to think like that. Now it was the time for me and Ashley to find ourselves. To be Spashley again.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys.. Here is a very long chapter.. Hope you like..**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**Ashley's POV**

"Kyla come here right now"

"Yeeees?"

"Why you answered my phone?"

"I thought that.."

"You thought what? What? Don't you ever do that again. And what were you saying on Spencer? I thought we had that talk and now it's over"

"Well.. We had. I just wanted to be the bad ass sister. That's all. Did she sound frighten?"

"She thinks she has to explain to you"

"Well if she is willing to do that she…"

"No. She doesn't. Me and Spencer talked about what happen and please if you meet her don't be a bitch. Ok?"

"Ooooook. Deal. So what is going on between you two?"

"For now we are just finding each other again. That's all"

"Are you going to see her again?"

"Yes tomorrow"

"And you are in love with her"

"I am. But Kyla I don't know. We don't want to rush things."

"Whatever you say Ashley. I am going back to my room."

"Goodnight"

"Goodnight Ash"

Going out with Spencer again. Having her back in my life. So strange. How things happen without knowing? How relationships come and go? I was someone that was fucking a different girl every night, then I met Spencer and she changed my world. She made me look back at my past and see who I was and what I could be. We got together and I was the happiest I ever been in my whole life. I broke up with her and I closed myself to everyone. I met another girl, I was in a relationship for two years, broke up again and now the love of my life is here. Spencer is here and my life is brighter again. I am happier since the moment I saw her that day. And all I can think is her. All I can see is her. All I can breathe is her.

Before I go to bed I looked our pictures together. I never threw them away. I haven't burned them. I had them always with me in a box under my bed. All the memories we created. The moments we cherished. Her smile. Her beautiful eyes. That was what I was looking at right now. A picture I took of her when we were celebrating our anniversary. A morning after an amazing night. Her cerulean eyes looking at me. She didn't want me to take that picture but at the end it was one of my favorites.

Tomorrow I would see her again. Not the picture but the real person. Not the memories of the past but the memories of the future to come. Future. What a strange word actually. I never thought of the future. I always thought about the future with her though. Now I understand what Chloy said. She never had me for her to lose me. I was always Spencer's even if we weren't together.

I thought about texting Spencer again before I go to bed but every time I would start typing the message, at the same time I would erase it. I didn't know why. I decided that I would sleep and not texting her. I was half asleep half awake when my cell phone brought me back to reality. I saw the time and it was 12.30am. I had a text. Who on earth would text me at 12.30 in the morning?

"_Knowing you you probably are awake but people change and maybe you are sleeping. So I am sorry if I am waking you up right now. Just wanted to tell you I was thinking of you and I can't wait to see you tomorrow. So.. Goodnight Ash.. S xx"_

Reading her text I couldn't hold back my smile. Soul mates. She was my soul mate. Humans are driven to find and join their other half. And I am lucky I found was in my mind for one more time even if we were separated for years.

"_Indeed. People can change. And I did. I was sleeping but it's ok. Can't wait to see you tomorrow too.__ Be ready at 8.30pm. Another thing is that actually now I am always on time. So.. Don't be late blondie.. A xx"_

"_8.30pm sharp. See you tomorrow Ash.."_

"_See you tomorrow Spence.."_

I wanted to end my text by saying 'I love you'. But I couldn't. Yes we said to each other that we still loved each other but it would be strange saying that to her again. I don't know if we were ready but inside my heart was aching for her. My heart wanted her. Needed her. I closed my eyes with thoughts of Spencer. I closed my eyes and her picture that I loved so much was under my pillow. Till tomorrow morning that I would see her again.

Morning came so fast and I woke up by a terrible noise. That would be only Kyla at the kitchen trying to make breakfast. Why she thought that she actually could cook I don't know. I went to the bathroom, took a shower and found her trying to make pancakes. So wrong.

"What are you doing at the kitchen Kyla?"

"Fishing. What do you think?"

"Ha ha. Very funny. Kyla, you don't cook sweetheart. Don't try."

"Well today you have to take a good breakfast."

"And that because..?"

"You just need strength. That's all"

"You are weird. Do you know that?"

"Shut up. I made you coffee"

"Are you ok? Do we celebrate anything? Ohhhh.. Did you get laid at last?"

"SHUT UP. Can't someone make a breakfast for their sister?"

"Someone yes. Not you"

I liked teasing her. She was a nice girl but sometimes she was really pissing me off. Now as for the breakfast.. I wasn't that sure that I would eat her pancakes. And I am careful about that coffee too.

"I will drink the coffee but I have to go. I have a lesson at 10am and then a lesson at 5pm. I will be back for lunch. Ok?"

"Ok. Why I even bothered to cook? I am a terrible cook"

"You are. I am going to get dressed now and I am leaving right away. Ok? Thanks for trying Ky"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever"

Today was the only day I had only two lessons. One was an hour away from home and the other would be at my place. Actually the second lesson would be with John. Chloy's brother.

I thought about texting Spencer saying goodmorning but every time something would happen or someone would call and I couldn't. I went to my first lesson and now I was counting the minutes till I would see her.

At 2pm I was back home. I already picked something to eat and thank God Kyla wasn't at the kitchen trying to cook. And I didn't want to eat much. Tonight we would go to a restaurant and I didn't want to eat a salad. I was thinking of taking her to our favorite place. I knew she liked burgers. So tonight we would go at Burgering House. It would be a surprise to her.

Kyla wasn't home when I came back. She was at her new job. Not at a coffee place but actually working behind an office. She was working for a no profit organisation about people who don't have where to live. She liked that job and it was close to her studies.

I took a shower because it was kind of hot today and I relaxed a little at my bed. I picked up my phone and called my blond.

"Hey Ash"

"Hey you. How are you this fine day?"

"Hot actually. I just came back from the beach"

"I envy you. I wish I was at the beach with you too"

"Maybe another day"

"Maybe"

"So.."

"Sooo.."

"Are you ready for tonight?"

"Yeap. But I need to know where we will go. You know. For choosing what to wear"

"Dress casual. But I am not telling you where we will go"

"Ohhh Aaaash.. Pleeeease?"

"Nope. And don't pout"

"I.. I.. how did you know I was pouting?"

"Because I know you.." there were a pause after I said that. I was ready to say something to break the ice.

"You always did.. So casual eh?"

"Yeap. 8.30pm"

"Jesus Christ Ash.. It's like the hundred time you told me that"

"You are person who forgets easy"

"Not that easy baby" now it was my time to pause. She called me baby. Strange. But hearing her telling me that it felt so right. I was ready to answer her back but she got me first "Ash.. Ehm.. I am sorry but my grandma is calling me. See you at 8.30. Bye"

I wouldn't mind her calling me baby. Actually I had to hold myself for not calling her the same several times. But she was nervous after she said that. Did she regret calling me that? And should I tell her when we would meet? I heard my doorbell and I saw that it was already 5pm. How time flies that fast.

"Hey John. How are we today? Are you ready for today's lesson?"

"I am. Today we will play the electric Ash? You promised"

"Well.."

"Ash you promised"

"Well since I promised.. we will play the electric today"

"Cool"

John was a very nice and talented kid. He had a great future ahead of him if he knew what to do right. He liked music and sometimes I could see myself in him. We had the same passion for music. When we finished our lesson it was 7.50pm. I let him play my electric for an hour. He was good for someone of his age.

"Ash.. I loved it. Can I play again sometime?"

"We will see"

"Oh come on. You know you will let me"

"Don't be that sure."

I haven't asked about his sister although he knew about me and her. But it would be awkward asking a 16 year old about his sister. For him we maybe were still together since he didn't tell me anything. But if he didn't ask me anything that means that Chloy haven't told him.

I was waiting for his mom to come and pick him up. Up until two days ago Chloy was the one who would bring him here and come and pick him up.

We were sitting on my couch when we heard the doorbell once again

"That's Chloy"

"Your sister?"

"Do I have another sister that her name is Chloy Ash?"

Before I answer to him he stood up and opened the door. And Chloy was there smiling at her little brother and looking at me straight in my eyes.

"Ashley? Won't you kiss your girlfriend?"

"Ehm.."

"John please stop. If it was someone else at your place he wouldn't like to see his sister kissing someone"

"Yeah, but your girlfriend is Ashley. Is not just someone. So you won't kiss?"

I was standing right there looking surprised and really I didn't know what to do. I couldn't understand why Chloy haven't told him anything. And his was still looking at us back and forth.

"Sooo? Kiss your girlfriend Ash"

Chloy looked at me. She came closer to me and gave me a kiss on my lips. Awkward. I felt like I was cheating on Spencer.

"That wasn't a kiss. Come on guys. Kiss properly"

"John. Please. Go downstairs and wait for me at the car"

"But Chloy.."

"John.. I have to discuss something with Ashley"

"Ok. See you on Friday Ash"

"See you on Friday Johny boy"

And then they were two. Chloy stood there looking at me. I didn't know what to say or do. I didn't expect her here.

"You haven't told him about us?"

"No"

"Why?"

"Because he likes you Ashley. And he believes that you are the coolest teacher ever. If I told him he would stop his lessons and I am not sure he would be like that with anybody else"

"I understand"

"I missed you Ash"

"I missed you too"

I missed her. I did. And I hated what happened between us. But I couldn't lie anymore. I couldn't lie to her. She didn't deserve it. She came closer to me and I couldn't move. She came closer to me and whispered to me _'I really missed you Ash'._ She came closer and placed her lips on mine again. It didn't feel right. Not right at all.

"Chloy please. Please don't do that"

"I am sorry. I don't know what got me. Forget that I did that"

I heard the ringtone I had for Spencer 'Unthinkable' of Alicia Keys. I checked the hour and it was 8.45pm. I was late and Chloy was here.

"Hey"

"Hey. Is everything alright? You are late and I was worried"

"No everything is fine"

"Good. You had me worried"

"I am sorry. I'll be there in a few. I am sorry again Spence"

"It's ok. See you in a few then"

"Yeah. Ok"

I closed my phone and looked at Chloy. What I really could say to her?

"That fast Ashley?"

"I don't know what you mean"

"I mean that you were looking a way out from our relationship. You couldn't find any though. Your only way out was Spencer. You seem to forget so easy though. Like the two years together was nothing to you"

What still surprised me was her calm tone. Like the day I was breaking up with her. How she could do that.

"Chloy. I didn't look for a way out"

"Why you were with me Ashley? Nah.. Don't answer me that"

She opened the door once again and didn't say anything. She closed the door and I stayed there. Thinking what she said. Was I thinking for a way out or hoping for Spencer to come and find me? I really don't know. This whole situation was driving me crazy. I loved Chloy but I was in love with Spencer. I broke up with Chloy and I wanted to be with Spencer. But hurting Chloy wasn't my intention. But I guess someone would be hurt and it happened to be her. I hope one day she will forgive me.

I took my bag and drove to Spencer's house. All the way there I was thinking of what to do. Tell her what happened? Tell her that Chloy kissed me? It wasn't mutual. I didn't kiss her back. And Spencer and I weren't a couple. But why I was feeling like I cheated on her. Why I was scared of her reaction? Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe not.

I was at Spencer's at 9.15pm. I was late for almost an hour. Something I didn't like at all. I knocked their door and I came face to face with her grandfather. The man that was picking her up from Starbucks when we weren't talking.

"You must be Ashley. You are kind of late"

"Ehm, I am so sorry. I know. Is Spencer here?"

"Why don't you come in for some minutes?"

"Ehm.."

"Please. I insist. Spencer is ready and she was waiting for you since 8pm"

"I know. Again I am sorry"

"Let's go inside. Ok?"

"Ok"

Perfect. Now I had to talk with Spencer's grandparents. I don't know if I was ready for that.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you guys for all the wonderful reviews. **

**And let me say that my girlfriend didn't like that i tortured Chloy. I promised her that I wouldn't bring Chloy in the picture again. Sorry baby.. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**Spencer's POV**

I heard the doorbell and I knew it was Ashley. Who could be knocking our door at 9.30pm. I was in my room surfing on the internet when I heard my grandpa and Ashley talking. I turned off my pc and went down to meet them. My grandpa told me yesterday that he wanted to have a talk with Ashley. I was kind of scared to tell you the truth. He was open minded but I don't know. He knew what Ashley was for me. I hope he is not scaring her right now.

I stopped at the stairs to look at them. My grandpa was sitting on his lazy boy chair and Ashley was sitting on the couch. There weren't knifes anywhere and actually they were talking casually. I didn't want to interfere so I just stayed there hearing to what they were saying.

"So Ashley. I am glad I am meeting you at last. I heard so many things about you"

"I hope good things"

"Good things indeed. So you were together with my granddaughter" when he said that Ashley coughed and spit the water she had on her mouth. Not very nice Ash.

"Together? I.. don't know what you mean. Spencer and I were roommates if you mean that"

"I mean together together Ashley. Like girlfriends. Like in a relationship"

"I… I…"

"It's ok. Spencer told me. Although I have to say that I already knew. I knew that something was going on between you two"

"Ehm.. Mr.."

"Call me Alan."

"I am sorry but I can't. You are Spencer's grandfather sir. So I would like to keep talking to you formal"

"Ashley you can call me Alan. I don't have a problem with that. But if you want to call me by my last name know that I am not that old. Just saying" at that moment I saw Ashley smiling at my grandfather. Who would have thought that I had a very open minded grandfather.

"Ok.. I promise I will try"

"How come we never met you before?"

"I don't know. I guess it didn't happen"

"What are your intentions with my granddaughter?" now it was time for me to show up. Intentions grandpa? Really?

"Hey Ash.." I looked at her and she gave me that characteristic smile of hers. She stood up so she could hug me and I sat right next to her.

"Hey Spence. Sorry for being late. I will explain later"

"So Ashley. You didn't answer to my question"

"Ehmm.. Mr.. Alan.."

"Grandpa. It's time for us to go. We are already late. Talk to you tomorrow. Come on Ash"

"Nice meeting you"

"You too Ashley. Be careful on the road"

"We will"

While we were walking to Ashley's car I kept holding her hand. It was so soft and I haven't touched her like that for years. It felt good. We didn't say anything. We just got in and Ashley started to drive to an unknown destination. I was curious to where we would go.

"Ash.. Can I ask you something?"

"I am not telling you where we are going"

"Will you stop doing that?"

"What?"

"You are reading my mind. Stop it. But.. will you tell me where we are going?"

"Nope"

"Oh, come on."

"No"

"Ok"

"You gave up easily Spence"

"Why even try when I know that I can't break you?"

"Awww.. Don't pout Spence. It's a surprise. We will be there in a few minutes"

"Ok. Ok. So.. how was your meeting with my grandpa?"

"He wasn't that scary. When he told me to come inside I think I lost five years of my life"

"Come on. He just wanted to talk with you"

"Yeah.. Whatever.. It was like I was meeting your father"

Once she said that we both paused. I guess we both remembered that time at her hotel when my mom and dad found out about us. I wanted to change the subject but I didn't.

"Meeting my father would be much easier. Believe me. When I finally came out my father was the most supportive one. My mom was and still is in denial. I wish she could be the mom I knew and I loved. I am sad that she changed only because I told her that I was gay"

"You are gay Spence?"

"Hmmm.. For the last couple of years I would say yes. It took me long enough to feel at ease with who I am. It took me long enough to find the guts and come back here"

"We are here"

I expected her to tell me something. But I guess we had time. I knew that whatever she had to say she would say it. After so long I knew she still had some questions and I understood that.

"Burgering House Ash? Really? That's my favorite place. I haven't been here for years"

"I know. I told you it was a surprise"

Ashley knew me so well. And I knew her too. Sometimes I dream that all this it's a lie. That we never broke up. That we were still together and very much in love. I just hate myself that I realized too late that all I needed was her and only her.

I gave her a hug and held her more that a few seconds close to my heart. I inhaled her intoxicant scent. That unique scent that only Ashley had. And I felt her doing the exact same thing. People were passing by and were looking at us holding each other but I didn't care. For me, I was just holding the love of my life again.

"Well I am hungry. I think we should go inside and order something."

"You are as right as always dear"

"I know"

"And I am glad that your modesty is still one of your traits"

"Of course. Now let's go inside"

Burgering House was my favorite place. They had burgers to die for. And I love burgers very very much. I knew what I would order without even looking.

"Welcome. A table for two?"

"Yes, please"

"Follow me ladies. Here you are. Have a nice time"

"Thank you"

We sat to a table near the window. It was so beautiful outside. Burgering House was settled near the ocean. You could see people passing by or going to the beach. My favorite place indeed. Our favorite place.

"What are you going to order Spence?"

"Texas Barbeque burger"

"After so many years you still order the same? Why don't you try something else?"

"Because I know how it tastes and it tastes mmmm.. Perfect. If I order something else maybe I won't like it"

"But you won't know if you don't try"

"Ash.. why trying something else when I know that this is the best for me?"

My answer had a deeper meaning to that. Why being with someone else when I knew that Ashley was the best I ever had? It's like my burger. I like how it tastes. It's my favorite and I don't want to try anything else.

"Ok. I will order a salad, a classic burger and a coke"

"I want one too"

"A salad?"

"No. A coke. A zero one"

"Ok. Where is our waitress?"

"I think she is right there. Oh look she is coming. And I am very hungry"

"Hello. My name is Catherine and I will be your waitress for tonight. Do you know what you are going to order?"

"Yes. A texas barbeque for the lady, a classic burger, a ceasar salad, and two zero cokes"

"Thank you. Your order will be ready in 30 mibutes"

Once Catherine, our waitress, left I was left alone with Ashley again. Not bad at all.

"I am hungry.."

"I know. I am sorry. It's my fault. I am sorry I was late"

"It's ok. I thought that something happened"

"Actually something did"

"If you want you can tell me."

"Chloy came from my apartment" I couldn't be jealous. I wasn't allowed to. Chloy and Ashley were together for two years. She was there when I was gone.

"It's ok. I understand."

"Her brother is a student of mine. That's how we met. And today I had her brother"

"Ashley. It's ok. You don't have to explain to me. You don't need to explain to me"

"But I want to. If we are to start from the beginning I want us to start clear."

"Ok. But I want you to know that I understand"

"Please let me finish. Chloy came from my apartment to pick her brother up. She kissed me because John thought we were still together and then John left and she kissed me again."

"Ok?"

"I didn't kiss her back. I know that we are not together or something but I want you to know that I didn't kiss her back. Spencer, I loved her. I really did. And I hate myself for what I did to her. I feel like shit."

I touched her hands because I needed her to know that it was ok. I wasn't allowed to be jealous over Chloy. If anything I should be ashamed because I was the reason they broke up.

"Ash, it's ok. I am glad you told me. You and Chloy were together. I understand how she feels. And as you said we are not together or something."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. I would be mad if we were together and someone else was kissing you though"

"And you are kind of cute when you are mad and angry"

"Shut up"

"I will now that our food is here"

"Finally"

Being with her seemed natural. I am glad I had her back. I was glad that actually Ashley wanted me back. What happened between us maybe was for the best. I found myself and I knew what I wanted. I wanted for us to have a new start. I wished for a new start.

"I am full"

"Ash you ate for two people. A salad and a burger with fries? Where on earth you put all this food and you have that body?"

"I work out a lot"

And she did work out. She was wearing her tight jeans and a black vest. I could see her abs that were.. hhmmm.. mmm.. Ashley had a great body from as far as I remember. And she still seemed to take care of that body of hers.

"Would you like to go?"

"Yeah.."

To tell you the truth I didn't want to leave that early. Well it wasn't early at 12.45am in the morning but with her time flies so fast. It's like I saw her minutes ago.

"I don't want to go home yet"

"Me neither"

"Well.. we are next to the beach. What you say? Do you want us to go there?"

"Of course."

We took off our shoes and we walked bare foot on the cold sand. It wasn't cold but a little bit chilly. Night in Cali was always like that. Hot during the day, chilly at night.

"I really missed that Spence"

"Me too. It's strange actually. When I was here I was missing my home and our seas but I had you. But when I was in Greece everything seemed so different. The sea didn't have the same color. I couldn't enjoy it because I didn't have you."

"I know what you mean"

"I will say that many times Ash, but I am so sorry. I have no excuse.." I couldn't finish because she hushed me with her fingers. I couldn't finish because she was so close to me and I could feel her heart beating so fast. I couldn't finish because she had her lips on mine and I had mine on hers. We were kissing under the moon light, hearing the sounds of the waves. It was a kiss I didn't want to end.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey guys.. I am terrible sorry for not updating for almost a week. I caught up with work. So here is the next chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**Ashley's POV**

What makes you actually stupid? An act? Something you said or you did? For many people I might seem stupid because I took back Spencer. Because I forgave her for breaking my heart. But for everyone is different and sure I am. Have you ever felt that feeling of being so deep in love with someone that when they are not with you you feel all alone? Not a whole person. That was me without Spencer. Yes I was hurt. Yes I maybe was mad at her for having to choose. But at the end before I go to bed my mind was going to her. So forgive me for wanting back what I lost. Maybe you think I am stupid but that's how I feel.

Having her back was a Christmas present for me. And all I wanted was to be with her all the time. Every second, every minute, every hour. Just try to be us again. Find each other. When Chloy came home and kissed me I froze. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to react and having to see Spencer then and being late because of that was driving me even more crazy. I wanted to explain to her why I wasn't there on time. I wanted to tell Spencer about the kiss. If we were to start from the beginning I wanted to be clear and true not only to myself but to Spencer too.

When I explained to her what happened I was glad that she could humor with that. I am glad that she wasn't mad about the kiss although I didn't cheat on her literally considering we were not together but still I felt like that. Crazy? Maybe..

All I did all night was to look at her. I wanted to touch her and kiss her but all I did was to look at her. I missed her. I missed her eyes that were looking even more blue than the last time. I don't believe that is true but yet it seemed like that to me. And every time she would see me looking at her she would smile and blush. It was funny that I could still do that after so many years. Having this impact at her. I liked it.

When the time came for us to leave, it was way too late, I didn't want to let her go. I wanted to stay with her all night. We went at the beach because that place held so many memories. We stayed there, Spencer sitting between my legs as every time. I could smell her shampoo.. Vanilla. I wanted so much to kiss her. She turned her face to apologize for one more time but we were done with being sorry. I hushed her with my fingers and then I did what I was thinking all day long. I kissed her and it felt so right. I kissed her and I remembered how good it felt. It was a kiss I didn't want to end. We were kissing each other and we only apart when we both needed air to breathe.

She looked at me and I saw her eyes sparkling. She was smiling and I so loved that smile of hers. It was true. It was her. I kissed again her lips this time more softly like I wanted to seal our kiss. Make it more real than already was.

"Ash.."

"I know.."

There was no need to say to each other what we both thought. I knew her as she knew me so well too. What we were doing? What that kiss meant? I don't know what that meant. All I know was that that kiss was out of instinct. Something I would do if we were together looking at the stars. Did I want to be with Spencer? Yes. I thought about it but something inside me was afraid. We were four years older. And 6 years ago I knew that I found what I was looking for. I knew that I found my other half to Spencer. And 6 years later I still believe that. All I need is to suppress the negative feelings and just let myself love her again from the beginning. Having a new start. Hoping till the end.

"I don't want to go home"

"I don't want to let you yet"

"So.. Are we going to stay here?"

"If it wasn't that chilly maybe I would keep you here"

"I wouldn't have a problem with that"

"Do you want to come home with me?"

"I would like that"

We both got up, holding hands till my car and looking at each other. I opened her door and gave her a kiss before I go to the driver's seat and drive us back home. Her hand holding mine all the way back home.

"Here we are"

"I can see. You still live here?"

"Yeah. I like it here. Unfortunately Kyla still lives with me"

"She is your sister"

"I know. I guess it's ok but someday she just needs to live on her own. She is not a child anymore"

"Maybe she is not that strong as you are"

"I am not"

"You are the strongest person I know Ash"

If only she could understand that I wasn't. At least with her. I wasn't as strong as I used to be. I wasn't the same as before. Spencer changed me in a good and in a bad way. I wanted to tell her how broken I was when we broke up but she already knew and it wouldn't help if I would tell her again. We should let the past behind us and look our future. Hoping for a future that would have both me and Spencer together.

"I don't know Ash.. Kyla once she sees me she will kill me. And she is kind of scary when she is mad"

"She is not here"

"Did she find someone?"

"I wish. I texted her and told her to leave"

"But.. Ash.. You shouldn't.. I.."

"Spencer it's ok. She knows that we were coming back to the apartment as she knew that we were to go out tonight. I finally understood that she has her life and I have mine. It's my choice to take you back or not as it's her life to find someone that probably I won't like."

"I understand"

I came closer to her and put my hands behind her back placing kisses on her neck and then to her lips. In my mind I wasn't thinking of making love to her but my body wanted her, needed her, and craved for her.

I brought us closer to the couch. Our lips never separated from each others. She tasted so good. She was taking my breath away. With every kiss I was feeling myself getting lost to what Spencer was doing me. Her hands caressing my arms, down to my back. My hands on her chest caressing her breasts. I really wanted her. I needed to touch her again. It has been a long time since I felt like this and she was the reason. She was bringing back from my litharge. I was sleeping all these years and now I was waking up by my blue eyed girl.

"I love you so much Ash. I never stopped. I love you so much" she said after I stopped kissing her because I needed to take a breath. She loved me and I never stopped loving her too. I am sad that we had to break up so we could understand what we meat to each other.

"I love you too baby. I never stopped. I am in love with you. I never fell in love with anyone else. You were always my one"

"I am sor…"

I kissed her because I knew what she would say. As I said. We were done with being sorry. I wanted a new start. I wanted to be with her from the beginning.

We continued our heavy making out session not doing anything but to kiss each other and touch each other. We were finding us again. I didn't want to rash things and I am sure she was feeling the same. With my hands under her shirt I heard a loud noise like something broke or something. And then voice..

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. My eyes. Don't you have a room or something? And on my couch? Really?"

I would kill her. Tomorrow morning she will be dead. That's it. Spencer that was still beneath me hadn't moved. I am sure because of Kyla.

"It's ok baby. Don't worry. I got you"

"Baby? Baby? So you two are together now? Really? Fastly Ashley eh?"

"Shut up. I thought I told you to leave tonight. What are you doing here?"

"Are you kidding me? It's like 5am"

Time really goes fast. It was already 5am and I felt like it was minutes before that I picked up Spencer from her house.

"So?"

"So I needed to sleep. Back to you and your girlfriend"

Spencer still wasn't talking. And Kyla called her my girlfriend. When actually she did that Spencer narrowed her eyes and didn't look at me. Did she or didn't she want to be my girlfriend? Because right now that was what I was thinking. I wanted nothing more than to make her mine again. Before I speak Spencer did that for me. She stood up from the couch but stayed right there next to me.

"Kyla. I know what I did and I know I hurt Ashley very much. I broke her but I was broken too. A relationship needs two people. So even if I was the one that initiated the break up I was hurt and lost too"

"And? Do you know that she was crying every night for months? Do you know that she didn't eat and I had literally to put food inside her mouth? Do you know all that?"

I saw Spencer's face and immediately I saw it change. She looked at me with sad eyes and started talking again

"I hate myself for what I did to her. I loved her Kyla. I still do and I will never stop. I made a big mistake and I lost something that it was really good for me. I let my fear overtake me and I lost my heart. I can't ask for your forgiveness because to tell you the truth I can't forgive myself too." She turned her face back to me and she continued what she was saying "I really don't know how you did. If I can't forgive myself Ash, how you did that? How?"

"I don't have an answer to give you. I just listened to my heart. And my heart wanted you"

"But why? How? Please tell me"

I came closer to her and give her a tender kiss on her lips

"We have to let go of the past. If I can so you do. I want to have a new start with you Spence. I really do. But you have to let go."

She was crying and I wish Kyla didn't come because I didn't like it when Spencer was crying. I kissed her tears away and took her hands in mine.

"So what are you saying? Can you forgive yourself? Can we start from the beginning? A new start"

"I think I can. Will you be right next to me?"

"Always"

"Guys, really. I am going to throw up with your mushy crap. I am going to bed. And Spencer.. If by any chance you hurt my sister again I will find you and hunt you down. Goodnight"

When Kyla left us all alone again we found our place back to the couch. It was a heavy moment and all I wanted to do was to take her in my arms and hold her close to me. That was the most important thing for me.

"I don't want to go"

"Why don't you stay? We can sleep on my bed"

"My grandparents are going to get worry. I wish I could"

"Why don't you text your grandpa and tell him that I am not letting you go?"

"Guess I can do that"

"You are very lucky to have me"

"Don't you think I know?"

She took her phone out and texted her grandfather. When I said we could sleep on the same bed I meant it. Sleep. Not sex. I wanted to be with her but I guess we both needed our time. Even if I really wanted her.. Like really really.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are alwways welcome**


	18. Chapter 18

**Another update.. I am trying to make it up for being absent for a week. Tomorrow is Friday and i am happy. This week as also this month came to its end. Autumn guys..**

* * *

**Chapter 18**

**Spencer's POV**

Time goes so fast. It does. Because summer was already to come to its end and I was in the states for more than a month. Super vacations eh? Me and Ashley were going strong day by day. We found ourselves again and it was like we were meeting each other from the beginning. I stayed at her apartment some nights with the blessings of my grandfather. Nah, I am kidding. He is open minded but I am sure he didn't want to know that his granddaughter was making out with her girlfriend. Yes, girlfriend. Ashley and I were back together again. Did I expect something like that when I was coming back? Of course not. But inside I was hoping. Maybe one in a billion she would forgive me and take me back. I guess I did something good in my past life because someone really loves me and brought her back to me.

We were counting three weeks together as a couple. Three weeks and a lot of heavy make out sessions that never got further than that. It's not that we didn't want it. But we both thought that it would be for the best if we would go slow. And I really wanted her. Sometimes we would see ourselves falling deeper and deeper to each others arms and kisses. And most of the times we would get interrupt from Kyla or a phone call or a student calling Ashley. So its not only that we wanted to go slow but even if we didn't we would be interrupted by others.

It was a week before the end of August that I felt my heart tighten inside me. I got the phone call I expected all this long. It was from work and they wanted me back. My vacations were over but I wasn't thinking of that. I was thinking of Ashley and having to let her go when I just found her again. And how I would tell her that? They told me that I had to be back to Greece by the 15th of September. I had 22 days. Three weeks only with her. And I didn't want to leave. Not now. Not now that I had her back.

I was sitting together with my grandpa and Peter when they called me from work. When they told me the news my grandpa saw the look at my face. My look was when someone tells you that someone died, so he was afraid. I mouthed to him that it was nothing and I excused myself to continue talking with my boss. When I came back I sat on my chair and let out a heavy sigh still holding my phone on my hands.

"Spence, what is it honey?"

"It was from work. They want me back"

"Oh"

"Yeah"

"That's a good thing. You will go back to Greece. I am sure you missed your country"

"It's not that I haven't missed my country Peter. It's just that I completely forgot my job. I was completely in my world with Ashley. It's almost a month that we are back together and now I have to leave again"

"I know honey. Ashley will understand"

"I don't know. She knew what my job was. I made sure to tell her from the beginning. But.."

"Kiddo. It's going to be difficult for you. It's the first time you are leaving her behind"

"It's not the first time grandpa. I left her behind when I came back to Greece for my 19th birthday. It was only for weeks though. You know how my projects are. I was away for a year travelling all over South America. What if my new project is going to be the same? What if I have to be away for a year again? What about Ashley?"

Now I was crying. I was crying because all this was way too much for me. The emotions were deep.

"So what you want to do? Don't tell me that you are going to break up with her again?"

"Are you kidding me grandpa. Not in a million years. I would never do that to her. I am so much in love with her. I am just hurting for having to leave her again. And I don't know how to tell her this"

"You are going to find a way. You found each other again after years. I am sure you will find a way to tell your girl"

"Thanks grandpa. I have to go. I don't know what time I will come back home. Ok?"

"Text me or call me. Ok? Bye kiddo. Be careful"

"I will. Bye"

I was still thinking of how to tell Ashley. How it would be the perfect way or when it would be the perfect time. I went to the only place I knew it would calm me. The ocean. It was 1pm and the sun was so hot but I didn't mind. I sat there looking at the surfers and the swimmers behind my Aviators. Maybe I would have a sun burn after but I didn't care. I was lost to the sound of the waves. I walked among the beach feeling the cold water on my feet. I considered myself going inside the water with my clothes but I had my keys and my phone inside my pockets. So that wouldn't be a good idea. I was probably there for an hour when I felt my phone buzzing inside my pocket. It was Ashley.

"Hey you"

"Hey back. Where are you? I can hear waves"

"I am at the ocean"

"But you told me you would be with your grandfather today and Peter"

"I was. But I wanted to come here"

"Spence, what is going on?" she knew that whenever I was here something was happening. Whenever I wanted to think or forget I was coming here. She knew that something was wrong

"What? Nothing is going on Ash. I just wanted to come here. If you were home I would come back to the apartment"

"Baby, you only go there when you want to think. So tell me what it is."

"Ash.."

I thought of telling her that it was nothing but that would make me like the Spencer she knew then. And I wanted to be open to her and tell her everything. Not more secrets between us. And it was something that had to do with both of us.

"Ash, when are you going to be home?"

"Now it's 2pm. I will be home round 4pm. Why?"

"I want us to discuss something"

"Is everything alright?"

"I will tell you once you are home. Ok? I will stay here. So if you want come and pick me up. I will be at our spot. I will wait for you."

"Spence, what is it baby. You scare me"

"Nothing to worry about. Finish your lesson and I am going to be here. Ok? Love you"

"Ok. Love you too"

I found a place with shade so I could sit there and wait for Ashley. I was trying to find ways to tell her. How she would react? What we would do? Where this would leave us? Would she break up with me? Thinking all that I started crying. My head between my legs, holding them tight. I stayed there for a couple of minutes. Last time I cried was a year ago. And that because I was alone in a country I didn't know and I was thinking how alone I was. Without someone to love me and without someone to love. Lost in my thoughts I felt someone touching my back. I turned my face and I saw a frustrated Ashley looking at me, trying to catch her breath.

"Ash? What are you doing here?"

"I cancelled my lesson"

"Why? You shouldn't" I tried not to show her my tears by putting back my shades but she held my hand before I do that

"That's why. Spence I know you very well. Why you were crying?"

"Ash.. I wasn't.."

"Spence.."

"Ok I did. But I didn't want for you to cancel your lesson"

"What is going on?"

It was the perfect place to tell her. The ocean held the best and worst memories of us.

"I.. They called me from Greece today"

"Ok? It was your family?"

"No. From work"

"Ok. And?"

"They want me back. I have to be back in three weeks"

When I told her that she sat there looking at the sea once again. I wanted to ask her. I wanted to know what she was thinking. I wanted for her to tell me that everything would be ok.

"Ash?"

"I knew that day would come."

"Ash.."

"I knew. I had a feeling inside."

"What are we going to do?"

"Spence, it's your job. You have a job that requires you travelling. I knew that and I was scared for the day that I would have to let you go"

That made my heart stop. Did she just say what I thought she said? Letting me go?

"Letting me.. go? Are we..? Are you..?"

"No. Oh God. No. Of course not. Do you want to?"

"Oh no no no. Not even a chance."

"I meant having to let you go for months and not be able to kiss you and touch you. Say goodbye at the airport."

"So what are we going to do?"

"We will be ok"

She said and touched my hand saying with her way that we would be ok. I wanted to believe her. I would make sure for us to be perfect. It's true.. Whenever something in your life is going perfect something or someone comes and take it from you. I loved my job very much. It was a job that everyone would be more than happy to have. But right now I hated it because they were taking me away from my girl.

We stayed there for a couple more minutes. She was holding me in her arms and immediately I felt safer than ever. And right then I believed her because if someone makes you feel that safe only with a hug then everything is going to be ok.

"Do you want to come home with me?"

"Yes"

"Have you eaten anything?"

"Actually no"

"What am I going to do with you?"

"I don't know. Love me I suppose?"

"Well I already do love you. Come kiddo"

"Hey.. I am not a kid"

"You are five years younger than me. So you are a kid"

"No I am not. Jesus Ash.. After so many years again with the age difference" she smiled and kissed my lips. I smiled too because I loved her and she was making me happy.

"You are cute when you get angry"

"You did that on purpose?"

"I know how to make you smile"

"What am I going to you Ms Davies?"

"Love me I suppose?"

"I already do. Always and forever" and I kissed her back

"Mmm.. Always baby. We will figure out everything. Ok? We just have to be together in this"

"I am all in"

"Me too. Now lets go home so I can make you something to eat. I have to take care of my beautiful girlfriend that she doesn't care of herself"

"Maybe I want my girlfriend to take care of me"

"Come on baby. I am going to make you your favorite"

"Fries with eggs?"

"I still don't know how you eat that as a lunch. This is breakfast"

"Not for me. How many times I'll tell you that in Greece it's a lunch for us"

"Anyway. Not that"

"A hamburger?"

"You got it"

"I love you"

"I love you too baby. Now come on"

We went back to her apartment and I almost forgot the phone call I had this morning. I forgot it because Ashley made me feel safe. I was worrying more about her than me. I was worrying how she would feel. I am glad I told her. This time I would make sure everything would be better than before. I wouldn't keep anything from her. I wanted for her to see the change in me and that I was all in. I was so much in love with her and lucky to have her back in my life.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**Ashley's POV**

The weeks we have been together were nothing but amazing. We were back to be us. Spencer and Ashley. We would find ways to be together all day. Of course I had my guitar lessons and I couldn't be with her all day long but still it was like she was with me. Every time I would play a song for a student of mine for him or her to learn I would choose a romantic song that reminded me of Spencer.

My students know me so well. They knew who I was and they knew what I taught. Rock music of course and nothing else. So seeing me teaching them soppy romantic songs that talked about love and how good it feels to be in love.. Yeah.. Let's just say that they were looking at me like I was an alien or something. I remember one day I had Tina, a 15 year old girl that loved Orianthi. I have to say that this Orianthi girl can really play the guitar. And Tina was good too. She played piano and violin so she knew everything about music. Before Spencer we would play Purl Jam, Scorpions, songs like that. When Spencer became mine again all I could play were songs that were reminding me of her.

First week and Tina hadn't said anything. Second week and she was looking at me like she said 'what the fuck Ashley?'. Third week and she finally asked me..

"Ashley? What is going on?"

"Mmm?"

"You heard me. Is everything alright? You don't seem yourself these last couple of weeks"

"Oh Tina. I am good. I am perfect actually"

"I can see. You smile like an idiot"

"Hey, don't talk about your teacher like this"

"My teacher is acting weird"

"No I am not"

"Really? Let's see the facts. Songs like 'how do I breathe', 'Better today' and last but not least 'Halo'. Halo Ashley? You, singing Beyonce? Really?"

"Shut up Tina"

"So spit it. What is going on?"

"I.. I.."

"Ashley Davies can't talk? I am amazed"

"Will you stop it?"

"Tell me. Think I am a friend"

"You are my student"

"But I am your favorite student"

"You are like Spencer. She would say things like that"

"Who is Spencer?"

"She is the reason I smile again. She is the reason I sing and play soppy and romantic songs all these weeks."

I told Tina about me and Spencer. That we were together. That she was the first person I loved. My students knew I was gay. I never kept a secret who I was. So telling Tina about Spencer I made her day. I think she was trying to find herself. She didn't admit it yet but I think she had a little crush on her best friend. Whenever she would talk about her her eyes would have this spark.

"I am happy for you Ashley. I know you like two and a half years now and I never saw you like that before. You would smile but it wouldn't be the same like now. You smile and your whole face lightens up."

"Thanks Tina. What about your love life?"

"Ehm.. I think our time is over and I have to go home and study. It's a school day. So.. Yeah.. See you on Friday Ash. Bye.."

I smiled because she was indeed my favorite student. She was like a little sister and she was good with the guitar. And sometimes she reminded me of Spencer. They had the same colors and she was stubborn as Spencer was.

After Tina left I stayed there for an hour thinking of my girl. I was thinking how her day was going and how much I missed her. Tina was right. I never had been like this for a long time. And the reason is Spencer. I took out my phone and called her. I missed her voice.

"Hey you"

"Hey back. Where are you? I can hear waves"

When I heard her voice and the ocean I knew that something wasn't ok. Spencer would only go there if she needed time to think or if something bad happened. So I was kind of worried.

"I thought you were with your grandfather and Peter"

"I was. But I wanted to come here"

Her tone in her voice was sad. She wasn't telling me something and I didn't like when she was doing that.

"Spence, what is going on?"

"When are you going to be home?"

"Now it's 2pm. I will be home round 4pm. Why?"

"I want us to discuss something"

My mind was thinking way too much. I may burned my brain cells. She tried to assure me that it was nothing but I didn't believe her. And of course I couldn't concentrate. I cancelled my lesson and went to the shore so I could be with her. I couldn't wait till later.

When I found her she was sitting under a tree. Her legs up to her face. She seemed like she was crying. Why she was crying. I had to reach her. Know that she was ok. What was it that was bothering her?

"Ash? What are you doing here?"

"I cancelled my lesson"

"Why? You shouldn't" she said while crying. She tried to put her sun glasses back but I didn't let her.

"That's why. Spence I know you very well. Why you were crying?"

I couldn't see her like that. I didn't like it when she was crying and if something was going on I wanted to know. She tried to avoid it but at the end she told me what I was afraid.

"They called me from Greece today. I have to be back in three weeks"

My world shattered. I think I lost the earth under my feet. It is not that I didn't know what her job was. I knew and I understood completely. But it was so soon. We just got back together. I just found her again and I would lose her. I just wanted more time with her. That's all.

I took her in my arms and tried to tell her that everything would be ok. That we were going to be ok. And if we really wanted it we would.

We came back to my apartment because I didn't want to let her go. Not yet. If I had three weeks only I would make the best of them. I wanted to be able to wake up and sleep right next to her.

I made us some hamburgers I knew she liked and once we finished we went back to my room. They day was exhausting for both of us.

"Ash.. What are we going to do?"

"Baby.. We have three weeks. Please don't think that right now" I said and brought her body closer to mine. Her face on the crook of my neck and I could feel her tears on my skin. They were burning it like fire.

"But I don't want to leave you."

"But you won't Spence. You will do whatever you have to do and you will back. And we will talk every day"

"It's not the same and you know it"

"We have to try. Ok? It's not easy for me either. We just got back together"

"I will call them and tell them I can't"

I didn't want her to do that. Although half of me really wanted to. But then she would resent me and that I didn't like. She had her job as I had mine. And she loved what she was doing.

"No. Spence baby no. You will go. You won't call them and tell them the opposite. I was waiting for you for years. My heart was waiting for you. I can wait for a few months. We will be alright"

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely. I will miss you every second of the day. But you have to go. I am one hundred percent sure that we will be alright. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because our love is stronger than everything. That's why"

"You are such a romantic Ash"

"That's what they tell me these days"

"Yeah? Like who"

"It's a blond with mmm.. beautiful blue eyes. But she is young for me"

"I am only a year younger"

"Who told you that I was talking about you?"

"Ashley?"

I liked teasing her. That hasn't changed. I told her though about the other blond, that would be Tina. When I did she punched me on my arm and said that it was so wrong of me. I explained her that Tina was like a little sister to me.

We laid to each others arms. Something I missed and I was happy to have back. I couldn't imagine not being with her again. She was all I was thinking about. It cross my mind telling her to come and stay with me for the three weeks she would be here. And that I did. Life is full of risks and I want to take as many as I can with her.

"Baby?"

"Mmm.. yes?"

"Are you sleeping?"

"Nah.. I just had my eyes closed."

"I was thinking.. if.. would you like to come and stay with me?" She opened her eyes and looked at me. I saw a smile in her eyes that matched the smile she was giving me.

"You didn't even have to ask. Of course."

"What about your grandparents?"

"They will understand. My grandpa knows about us. Actually he was asking of you these last couple of days. I think he likes you"

"He is a good man. We will go and see him tomorrow. So… you are going to come and stay with me?" she kissed my lips. It was a reassuring kiss. A tender, soft kiss that actually was telling me everything.

"What do you think?"

"I think.. that you should continue kissing me"

Life is full of risks and we were starting taking ours. All I know is that I love her and she loves me back.

* * *

**TBC**

**Not finished.. I have more chapters to write.. And I already thought how my next chapters going to be..**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	20. Chapter 20

**Well this chapter was written from both my girlfriend and me. Well i was the one to write it but my girl was the one who gave me the idea.. And this is a special day for us cause we have been together for five months.. Today is our annniversary..**

**So baby.. I want to tell you how much i love you and how much you mean to me.. This chapter is for us..**

* * *

**Chapter 20**

**Ashley's POV**

Time. You wake up to go to work at a specific time. You eat lunch at a specific time. You come home, you shower, you sleep. Then back again doing the same routine. Always a clock running. Counting the minutes, the seconds, the hours. A whole day. 24 hours. Three weeks and counting. 528 hours. That's my time left with Spencer. The time for me to be with her.

I wanted every second to count. To be with her as much as possible. That's why I asked her to stay with me. But inside it wasn't the only reason. Inside I wanted her to stay for longer than three weeks. I wanted to be able to wake up with her and fall asleep with her. What she didn't know was the surprise I had for her.

When we broke up and I came back to the states I was lost. My first weeks were difficult and I did things I didn't know I had the strength to. The ocean was always her place and she was my home. When I came back I bought a beach house. Something Kyla didn't know nor Chloy. No one did. That was my place. Our place. When I did that it was something spontaneous. Something that if Kyla would knew she would kill me.

I was searching for her in every house the real estate agent would show me. Every house was perfect but I couldn't see her inside. Till one day that I did. It was the perfect beach house. Not too big, not too small. It was near to our spot, it had a private beach, a huge wooden porch and instead of walls it had windows from one side to other. In that house I found her inside. And that day I signed the papers.

Kyla thought that I was getting better, starting to forget Spencer. But I never did. She was always there. In my heart and in that house. When I put one or two things inside that were important I looked and then I realized that Spencer wasn't here with me. That Spencer and I were not together any more. That moment I knew that I couldn't be here again. Look at the ocean. Now the ocean held too many memories. I never sold the house. I never rent it to someone else. Because that house belonged to her and me. Even if we weren't together.

But now.. Now it was different. Now she was back to me and we were together. Now that house was calling us. And up until now I haven't thought of staying there. In that month we were together I was buying things to make it feel more like a house and not like a ghost house. I bought white couches, I fixed the kitchen, I bought a double bed, curtains in her favorite color that was yellow. I haven't said anything because I wanted to be a surprise. And the day I asked her to come and stay with me I didn't know that she would leave but I was planning to ask her either way.

So here I am. Waiting for her inside her living room. Her grandparents looking at me. Yes, you heard write. Both her grandparents. I have to say that her grandma probably not like me. And her grandfather is talking to me..

"So Ashley.."

"Yes, Mr.. sorry.. Alan"

"Better. So.. How come you decided to live with each other for the next weeks?"

"Well.." I couldn't talk like that infront of her grandmother. From what I knew she didn't like that her granddaughter was with a girl and not with a handsome boy "Well.. since Spencer was leaving I thought that it would be best for us to catch up for the lost time" in that moment I looked at her grandma and she was looking at me like I was the devil.

"Yes, you need that. You lost important time with each other"

"We did"

"I still believe that what you are doing is a sin and you will have to answer to God for your actions. I still believe that you are the reason for my granddaughter acting like that. From the moment she met you she changed" that was her grandmother. It was nice knowing that looks couldn't kill because right now I would be dead.

"I understand where you coming from Mrs. All I can say is that no one will ever love your granddaughter as I do. I understand that you would like to see her with someone else instead of me but you can't choose who you love. And Spencer and I love each other. I could promise not to hurt her but I am human as she is. All I can promise is to try to make her happy every day of our lives."

"What you do is just a.."

"Stop it right now. I heard enough. You are a homophobe like those people I hate. The people they killed my brother. I am sorry I found that now after so many years. I am sorry that my wife is such a person. If you can't accept your granddaughter for who she is then I can't be with you anymore"

I stayed with my mouth open. I didn't expect that. And now grandma was looking at me again. I knew she wanted to say something but she decided against it. Spencer was downstairs and the air smelled like fire.

"Hey guys. I am ready. Ehm.. What is going on?"

"Nothing kiddo. We were just talking. Let me help you with your stuff"

Alan stood up from where he was sitting and took Spencer's luggage. He gave me one look saying that everything was ok.

"Ash? What is going on?"

"Nothing baby. Let's go"

"Give me a sec. I want to say goodbye to my grandma"

"But Spencer, that woman.."

"Sssshhh baby.. She is still my grandma. I will find you outside"

"Ok. I will wait for you outside. If something happens.."

"Nothing will happen.." she assured me giving me a kiss.

After fifteen minutes Spencer came outside and she took my hand in hers. She was smiling and I didn't know why. What happened inside? Did she kill her grandma? Nah.. I am just kidding.

"Are you ready baby? It's time for us to go to our home"

"Spence.. Is everything alright?"

"Everything is perfect. Everything is as it should be"

Spencer hugged Alan as I did the same. I could feel close to him. I liked it that Spencer and I had someone like him in our lives.

"All I have to say for you girls is to never look back. Follow your hearts. Come and see me whenever you want. Ok?"

"Ok. I will call you grandpa"

"Now go. Ashley. Take care of my girl over here. Ok?"

"With my heart Alan"

I kissed Spencer's palm and guided her inside my car. I put my sunglasses on gave her a kiss and drove to our home.

"Baby? Where are we going? This is not your apartment"

"We are not going there"

"Where are we going?"

"You will find soon. And before you pout or anything I am not going to say anything"

"Ok. I trust you"

She smiled and for the first time Spencer didn't pout or continued to ask me where we were going.. I was surprised when I felt her fingers tracing my thighs and her whispering in my ears. She was trying to seduce me.

"Aaaassssshh… I love you.." she said and her hands were going under my skirt. She was inches away from my center and "Oh my God baby". It was all I said.. After a month and we haven't done anything yet. Having her touching me like this it was driving me crazy.

"Will you tell me? Eeehh?" I was trying to find the words to tell her to stop but all I could do was moan under her touches. She would pay for that later. She knew what she was doing to me and she was enjoying it. I was biting my lip so I couldn't say anything. I didn't know I was that strong..

"Come on baaaaby.. Tell your girlfriend.. I know you like what I am doing to you.."

Thank God we were here and I was so fucking wet. She managed to make me so wet. And all I could think was to make love to her. I didn't want to wait anymore. We didn't have much time and I wanted to make the best of it. Memorize her body, her scent.

"Where are we?"

"The ocean?"

"I see. What are we doing here?"

"Come my curious one. You are such a kid sometimes"

"No I am not."

"You are. But you are so cute."

I took her things out of the car and I guided her to the beach house. When I took my keys off my pocket I looked at her to see if she liked it.

"Ash.. Is this.. Is this your..?"

"This is our house baby. Mine and yours"

"When? How?"

"You like?"

"It's amazing baby. I love it"

I left her things in the hall and I told her to follow me. I wanted to show her where we would stay for the next three weeks. I showed her my favorite places inside the house. The bedroom, the living room and the porch. She liked the bedroom because I made sure to use the colors we both liked. I had a photo of ours taken at the beach one evening to our nightstand. It was one my favorite pictures. Sammy took that photo one day we were there. She took the picture in her hands and traced our faces. And I saw tears slide from her eyes. Instantly I came closer and hugged her from behind. I didn't want for her to cry anymore. I wanted for her to smile.

"Baby, please don't cry"

"It's happy tears baby. I am glad I have you back in my life. I am glad I have you here with me."

"And I am glad too. I love you."

"I love you too baby. So very much"

After the little moment we had I held her in my arms for some minutes and we unpacked her things. The closet was half for her and half for me. She had her drawer. This was her house as it was for me too. It was ours.

When night came we order chinese and we ate it in our living room. The view was perfect. Spencer would wake up every morning and look at what she loved the most. And I would look at Spencer. I was picturing our lives together and I wasn't afraid at all.

"I am full"

"Of course you are baby. I am going to take a shower. Ok?"

"Yes, love"

I was thinking of doing something romantic for her. And her going inside the shower was my clue to prepare everything. Tonight I wanted to make new memories of us. I wanted to make love to her. I knew she wanted to. We just waiting to find each other again, not to rush things and find the perfect time. And tonight I think it was the perfect time.

I had sampaign in the fridge and I lighted the candles I already had bought the other day outside in the porch. Once everything was perfect I got inside our bedroom. I thought of joining her inside the shower but I thought that I would invade her privacy. And don't misunderstand me. I so wanted to be inside the shower with her. I sat on our bed waiting for her to finish.

"Hey baby. I needed that shower"

"I am glad Spence. Now could you please wait for me so I can take a shower too? But please I want you to stay here. Can you do this?"

"Ok. I will put something on"

"I have a robe over there. It's yours. I'll be back in five minutes" I gave her a kiss and I could smell her shampoo. She smelled so good..

Indeed after five minutes I was outside and she was there waiting for me with the robe I told her to wait. I took her hand and guided us outside. Once she saw what I had already planned she looked back at me and smiled.

"Ash.. What is all this?"

"Surprise. I was feeling all romantic tonight"

"Baby, this is perfect. This day is going better and better"

"Come here"

I brought her body close to mine. God, she was breathtaking and I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was sitting on my laps and I could see her breasts showing from her robe. I could tell that she was naked underneath and I didn't want it any other way. She leaned closer and cupped my face giving me a long, tender kiss letting me taste her inside my mouth.

"Mmmm.. I like.."

"Mmmm.. I love it"

By the look on my face she could tell that I was ready for us. That I wanted her as much as I needed her. I wanted to make her mine again. To be one with her. Feel her.

"I want you Spence"

"And I want you"

I unfasten her robe and there she was, sitting on my laps completely naked. I took my time to mesmerize her body and how good it felt touching her again. Her full breasts, her tight abs. I could see the difference in her body. She was now a woman and not a teenage girl. I could feel that from her touches, from her moans. That she wasn't afraid to unlash my robe. That she wasn't shy. I was getting wet only by touching her. That's how good she felt.

She was kissing my neck and I could feel her tongue close to my ear. She was biting my ear lobe. My hands on her ass bringing her closer to me. I wanted nothing more than to be inside her once again. She let my robe fall from my shoulders. She was tracing my body with her fingers letting me feel nothing but goosebumps all over my skin.

"Mmm.. Ash.. You feel so good baby"

I didn't answer because she hushed me again with her kisses that were nothing but perfect. I would never get bored of kissing her luscious lips. Those red lips that were burning my skin.

"Touch me baby.. I want you to touch me Ash"

How could I resist her? How it was possible after so many years?

I cupped her breasts and brought her nipples close to my mouth. With every lick she would moan and she would make my clit jump. With every lick I would feel her hands cupping my breasts. Everything was so sensual. Like it was our first time again and in a way it was.

"Touch me baby. I want to feel you inside me.. Please"

While still on my lap I touched her hot center that was asking for my touch. She was so fucking wet. I touched her clit and I sled my two fingers down to her inner lips. She was moaning and she was holding me tighter with every move I was making.

"God baby, you are so wet.."

"Always for you baby.. Mmmm.. Assshh I want you inside me.."

With her pleading tone I inserted her with my middle finger. She was tight and I loved it because I could feel her walls tighten my finger. How I missed touching her. How I missed being inside her. I wanted nothing more than to please her. To satisfy her. She was moving her hips with every stroke of mine. I sled another finger inside her and she moaned even harder than before. Her moans could make me come so easily.

"Am I hurting you baby?"

"Mmm.. No.. Baby.. it feeeels so good.."

I kissed her breasts, my one hand caressing her back and my fingers being deep inside her. I knew she was ready. I wanted her to come all over my fingers and then I wanted to clean her up. Taste her. Remember how good she felt..

"Baaaby.. I.. I am going to come baby.. mmm.."

"Come for me baby.. Don't hold it.. I want to hear you.."

"Baaaaby.. mmmm.. aaahhh.. gooood baby.."

Even with Chloy it wasn't the same as it was with Spencer. She was the only one that could make me come only by hearing her come like that. And I am glad she hadn't lost her ability to do that. She leaned her body on mine, our naked torsos touching each other and my fingers still inside her, slowly stroking her in and out. She was amazing and she was mine again.

I turned us over and now I had her laying on the couch with me between her legs. I looked at her and my eyes were saying everything like hers did. I would so make her come again.

I kissed each of her thighs separately, my hands caressing her abdomen. I kissed near her bikini line, never going where I wanted and where I knew she needed me too.

"Aaaaashh.. pleeeease baby.."

"Sssshhh.. I only want to taste you baby.."

I licked her inner lips, up to her clit, down to her hole. She was still wet from before and she tasted so good. I missed her so much. I didn't know how much I did till now.

"Mmmm… baaaaaaaby.."

She was riding my face and I loved it. I was inserting her with my tongue sliding it once or twice inside her and then circling her hole with it. Then I was going back to her clit and playing with, sucking it. I knew she was ready to come again. I knew it by her moans.. And you know what her moans do to me.

"Mmmmmm… baaaby.. I am going to come again all over your tongue"

"Come for me baby.. I want to taste you.. Come for me"

And God, she came so hard.. And I loved it..

I took off my robe and laid my naked body on top of hers. I could feel her heart beat and I am sure she could feel mine doing just the same. She put her hands behind my back and we laid there for several times, inhaled each others intoxicating scent. She was my world, my everything.

"It's going to be you after that you know it right?"

"Can't wait baby"

* * *

**TBC**

**It was a very loooooong chapter. Hope you liked it..**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey guys.. I am terrible sorry for not updating for some days. I hope i still have some readers.. Here is the new chapter and it's a long one again. Hope you like.**

* * *

**Chapter 21**

**Spencer's POV**

The last three weeks were the best of my life. Spending them with Ashley made them even better. We were together every day. I was waking up with her sleeping right next to me and I was looking at how perfect she looked like. My girl. My love. I didn't want to leave her again. I wanted nothing more than to stay with her and continue what we were doing. Just being happy. I knew she didn't like I was leaving although she was trying not to say anything. But the thing with being in a relationship with your other half, your soul, you just know. She would look at me and I knew what she would think. So three weeks and now I have to go. I have to say goodbye but with the promise of coming back. Because I would never leave her again, except if she leaves me.

For the last couple of days I am packing because I don't know what to take with me. I called my boss to tell me the assignment but he didn't know either. He said something about going to the East this time. I was wondering where. Ashley was helping me pack and unpack things and every time she had that face that was telling me everything. Don't leave.

It's so hard leaving your partner behind. I so feel the women that have to wait for their husbands. For women that every month have to say 'goodbye' and 'come home soon'. That's how I feel right now. I feel like the husband that has to leave but doesn't know if he will come back in a month. And besides everything my hometown is Athens, Greece and Ashley lives here in the States. So what are we going to do? I just don't know. I am sure she is thinking like me right now. Our relationship was like this from the beginning. It doesn't mean though that I don't want to make the steps this time and find Ashley. Be here with her. If it means that I will have to quit my job and leave Greece I am willing to do it just for her. Because she gave me another chance and because I don't want to be without her again.

I am sitting outside on our porch looking at the sea and having a small blanket covering my legs. I am outside trying to take with me everything I am looking right now. Sp wherever I will be all I will think will this amazing sight and the moments I had with Ashley right here. My mind travels, goes back and I feel tears rolling down from eyes. If Ashley would see me right now she would say 'no more crying baby'. And I am trying not to but it's not easy. I am glad she is with Kyla right now because I really don't want her to see me like that. I have to be strong. For both of us. Because tonight is our last night together. Tomorrow I am flying back to Greece.

Kyla and I made up by the way. When she found out about the beach house she was swearing for two days and then she said that it was my fault. Ashley and I were just looking at her and did nothing. It's Kyla after all. After two days she composed herself and was able to actually have a talk. Ashley told me that she wouldn't go back to her apartment. She would give it to Kyla and that's what she was doing with her right now. Ashley would stay here at our house as she said. This house held so many memories even if it was only for three weeks. Three amazing weeks.

I was still outside when I heard the door. She was back and I wiped my tears away because I didn't want her to know I was crying. I stood up and went to her side, hugged her and kissed her. I missed her even if it was for some hours.

"Hey baby. I missed you"

"I missed you too beautiful. What you've done while I was away?"

"Nothing. I was just sitting out here looking at the ocean"

"Always the ocean baby?"

"The ocean and you. So everything ok with Kyla?"

"Yeah, I think I made her week when I told her that I am moving here"

"Really?"

"Yeah, because my little sister wants to fuck her boyfriend without having an audience"

"Aww Ash.. Don't talk like that"

"But it's true. This new guy she has.. They are like rabbits. They are doing it every day.. Oh my God.. I think I am going to be sick."

"Like rabbits ah? Like us?"

"Baby, we are making love. It's different"

It was always about love with us. From the first moment we touched each other. It was never just sex. It was us trying to find each other.

"At least he is a good guy this time. You must be happy for her"

"Finally she met someone that I believe he can make her happy. And she seems happy. So I guess I am ok that she will have our apartment for her benefit"

"That's my girl"

"Are you hungry?"

"Hmm.. Just a little"

"Just a little eh? Do you want me to cook something?"

"Why don't we go out? We can go somewhere romantic since it's my last day here.." immediately I saw her face. It changed for being happy to being sad. I don't know if she knew that I could read her.

"I like it. Go get ready"

"Are you coming with me?"

"I can't say no. I need a shower baby"

I took her hand and guided us to our bedroom. The bathroom was inside. I took off her clothes really slow while I was placing kisses to her collarbone and her neck. I was wearing shorts and a tshirt. No underwear underneath, so when she took off mine I could see her smile. And I knew that smile very well. Hot steamy making love inside the shower. That was inside her mind as it was in mine too.

After an hour inside the shower and two orgasms each we finally got out. When she took off her towel I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was there with her perfect body and like she knew I was looking at her she turned her body and now she was facing me. She came closer and untied my towel, letting it fall to the floor. She put her hands behind my back and I could feel her breasts touching mine. I laid my head on her shoulder and held her right there. It was nothing sexual. It was just us. And us felt so perfect.

"I love you Ms Carlin"

"And I love you Ms Davies. So much that it hurts"

"I know what you mean baby. I know. Now let's get dress ok?"

We got dressed and we were ready to start our date. Ashley was looking amazing. She was wearing a mini cocktail black dress. Anyone could see how good she looked on that dress and those heels. She had her hair straight in a pony tail and her make up was showing her beautiful brown eyes. Hot, and she was mine.

"Baby you are.. sexy and hot. I am afraid that someone will take you from me tonight"

"Not ever that will happen baby. I will always be yours. Only yours. Body, mind and soul. Don't ever forget that" she said and placed a kiss on my lips. I could taste her cherry lip gloss. Mmm.. perfect.. "But I should be scared with how you look baby. If we didn't have reservation I would so take you right now"

I was wearing the short shorts she liked with a blue low cut shirt that was matching my eyes. Black heels and I had my hair in loose curls. Not too much of make up. A grey blue eyeliner and mascara. We were hot. Too hot actually

"Maybe you will after we come home."

"Now I will think about it all night Spence. You like teasing me right?"

"Nah.. Not all.. Now let's go my horny girlfriend"

"Hey, it's not my fault that you look sexy baby."

The drive to the restaurant I couldn't take my eyes off her. Every now and then she would look me back. Our hands locked together never leaving each other only when Ashley had to changed gears. Half an hour later and we were outside Caesar's. The best restaurant in the area. It wasn't easy to make reservation here but Ashley knew the manager so it wasn't a problem for us to find a table even for the last minute.

"Hello ladies"

"Hello. A table for two. Davies"

"Of course. Come this way. Here is your table. Enjoy your night"

The place was like a palace. I guess it suits the name. I really liked it here. We don't come here too often because it's too classy but I like their pasta.

"Pasta with al fredo sauce for you baby?"

"You know me so well"

"I do baby. I think I am going to take a salad and a roasted buddha chicken. Do you want some wine?"

"Yeah, white please"

"Perfect"

The guy came and took our order. After that we stayed there looking at each other. She looked so perfect. I won't get tire of saying that. Because she is perfect and she is mine. We wouldn't discuss tomorrow. We would discuss our present. Right now. Me and her being here. Holding each other's hand. And after that we would go back to our home and make love all night. Yes, that we will do.

"Do you know how much I love you?"

"Hmmm.. No.. Care to tell me?"

"I love you more than anything Spence. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes."

"And I love you baby. I love you so much"

"Ehemm.. Ehm.. sorry to interrupt ladies but here is your order"

"Thank you"

"Good appetite"

Awkward much? Yeah. Poor guy. He was completely red. He came at the right time. I am sure he never saw two girls together again.

"Did you see his face?"

"He was embarrassed"

"He is lucky I wasn't kissing you. Then he would faint"

"Well.. he is not here. So.. you can kiss me now.."

"As you wish my lady"

We weren't that open with PDA. But sometimes I just didn't care. I wanted her to kiss me and hold my hand. To hell with everyone. I am in love with a girl and I like it.

We finished our dinner and to tell you the truth the only thing I had in my mind was to go home and make love to my girlfriend all night. And by the look on my face Ashley knew what I was thinking and I am sure she didn't care that I had naughty thoughts of her.

Once we were back home we were taking our cloths off before we even get inside. Hot. If someone was up at that time I am sure he would like the sight. Once we were in Ashley pinned my hands on the wall and started kissing my breasts. I wanted her so much. She unbuttoned my pants and put her hand underneath.

"God baby.. I want you so much"

"Me too. Let's go to our bedroom baby"

"No, right here. I won't make it till there"

We laid to our couch. Ashley only with her black satin bra. I managed to take off her dress when we got inside. She surprised me when I saw she wasn't wearing panties. All this time at the restaurant and she was naked. I think I made myself wet only with the thought.

And right there on our couch we made love and I came for her so hard as she did for me. Especially when we grid our clits together. God, how she felt on top of me. She will be the death of me one day. The night though wasn't finished. When I said that we would make love all night I meant it. We continued outside on out porch hearing the waves and what is better than to make love to your girl like that.

We finished our night in our bedroom where we slept to each others arms after eight orgasms. That night will be in my mind as long I will be away from her. Till the next time I will be able to hold her in my arms and make love to her once again. Kiss her beautiful luscious lips and make her mine.

Unfortunately the morning came so fast. How is it possible that whenever you want the time to just stop, time is going faster and faster? I woke up and Ashley wasn't next to me. In the beginning I was afraid but then I smelled the pancakes and I knew she was at the kitchen cooking me breakfast. I put on my robe and I surprised her giving her a kiss from behind.

"Goodmorning baby"

"Goodmorning beautiful. Did you sleep well?"

"With you right next to me? I had the best sleep baby"

"Now sit down and eat the breakfast I made for you"

"Will you eat with me?"

"No baby. I am not hungry"

We haven't talked about today. We both were sad. But if we would let it destroy our last minutes together it would be wrong. She knew I loved her as I knew she loved me. I would come back to her. I just didn't know when.

"Are you ready? We have to leave in an hour"

"Yes, I packed my things yesterday. I just need to take a shower and dress"

"Go get ready baby. I already showered this morning." She had a sad tone and I believe that she was starting to understand that these were our last minutes together. The day was here and we both new it.

"Ash.."

"I am ok baby. Go take your shower"

Inside the shower and I let myself break into tears. I didn't want to go. I didn't. I wanted to stay. How am I going to let her? How? I think I stayed inside the shower more than I should because Ashley was calling my name.

"Spence, are you ok baby?" I composed myself and opened the door.

"Yes, baby. I am ok. I was just enjoying my shower. I am going to get ready now"

"Wear something comfortable. It's a long flight"

"I know baby. I will come and find you downstairs in five minutes"

"Ok. Don't be late or else you are going to lose your flight"

In a moment I thought of losing my flight. Another day with her seemed so perfect. But inside I new that I couldn't do that. I had to get ready and leave.

"I am ready"

"Good baby. I took your luggage and put it inside the car. Did you forget anything?"

"No. I think I didn't. But it's ok if I did."

She was trying to be the strong one this time. And if I didn't know her I would believe her. The drive to the airport was quiet. None of us was talking. I was looking outside the window when I felt her cold hand touching mine. With only one touch and it was like she was talking to me. Saying everything she needed to.

Once we arrived at the airport we got right away to the check in. Thank God it wasn't that crowed. I had an hour with Ashley. Only an hour. We sat there, holding hands with me laying my head on her shoulder and her stroking my hair.

"I am going to miss you Ash"

"Me too baby. Me too. So much. Please promise me you will be careful. Ok?"

"I promise"

"And please take care of yourself. Call me when you are going to land in Frankfurt. Don't forget that. Ok?"

I couldn't hold my tears anymore and neither did she. She took me in her arms and kissed me. Saying goodbye it's not easy. Not easy at all. Especially to someone you love.

"I don't want to go"

"You have to. Ok? I love you so much. Come back to me ok? Call me every day"

"Every day, every night. I love you too"

I stood up still holding her hand and kissed her. It was a salty kiss because of all the crying. My heart was breaking into pieces when I was walking away from her. I had to look front and not back because when I was turning back she was still there looking at me. When I finally reached my gate I burst into tears. An old lady that was sitting right next to me gave me a tissue.

"Why you are crying dear?"

"Because I just said goodbye to someone I love very much"

"I understand how difficult this is. You are going to see them again though. So don't worry"

"I know but I just.. I can't.. It's difficult. I am sorry"

"Don't say sorry for loving someone. I am sure he is very lucky to have you"

"Yeah, but I am the lucky one to have her"

The old lady didn't say anything else after that. Of course I didn't expect her to give me a rainbow smile and say how wonderful is to love a girl. And to tell you the truth I just didn't care. All I cared was Ashley. I took out my cell phone and texted her.

'I already miss you.. xx S'

'I miss you more baby.. xx A'

'Passengers of Flight 452 for Frankfurt please get ready to board'

I texted Ashley one more time telling her I loved her and got inside the plane. I booked a sit next to the window. I always liked to fly like that. Thank God I didn't have anyone sitting next to me. Imagine having an irritate guy or woman sitting next to you for the next 10 hours. Not good. I put my ear plods in and waiting.. I don't know why we weren't leaving yet.

While I was looking outside the window I felt someone touching my arm. I turned my face and what I saw let me with my mouth open..

"Is this seat taken?"

"No.. It's… not"

"Good"

"Baby? What? How? Are you..?"

"When I saw you walking away I couldn't breathe. I couldn't let you leave. So I run and booked a ticket. And here I am"

"OH MY GOD"

Everyone sitting on the next seats looked at me but I didn't care. Ashley was here. Ashley would come with me in Greece. I cupped her face and kissed her. My heart was beating so fast. Ashley would come to Greece with me..

"I love you Ash.."

"I love you too baby.."

**TBC**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey guys.. I wish i had Spencer's job.. But if i did then i wouldn't be able to update. Sorry for not updating again for a week but i had to work like really late and then i couldn't even write. I will try to update again tomorrow.. Hope you enjoy this chapter..**

* * *

**Chapter 22**

**Spencer's POV**

Dreaming, loving, crying, believing.. Emotions, thoughts.. So many things are inside our mind every day. Our brain never sleeps. It's the only part of our body that never stops working. Even when we sleep we have dreams. The brain and our heart are two things so much important. Even if they shoot you your brain stills works for some minutes. Tragic isn't it?

Our heart is even more important. Without the heart we can't live. We don't exist. We are not alive. That's why when someone hurts us our heart breaks into pieces. That's why when you break up with someone you can't breathe, you feel that ache and you know you will never be the same person again. But whatever doesn't kill you it makes you stronger. At least that's what they say..

And look at me now. My heart broke, I broke someone's else heart, I found myself and finally I got my love back. She is lying right next to me. She came with me. That's what they call love? Would I do something like that? Probably yes. If it wasn't for my job I would stay there with her. But she surprised me. She is my girl.

The trip back to Greece was long. Especially when you have to stop before you get there. First stop Frankfurt. We would stay there for three hours and then Greece. After an 18 hour flight. Nice isn't it?

Ashley was sleeping half our flight to Frankfurt but it didn't matter to me. She thinks I don't know that she was up all night. I could feel her eyes on my back and her breath on my neck. So I guess she needed that nap or sleep to say better. I didn't wake her up. I was just listening to my music and holding her hand. Every now and then I would kiss her forehead. It seemed so unreal that I had her right next to me.

"Ash? Baby? We are arriving to Frankfurt.. Baby?"

"Mmmm.. Noooo.. I want to sleeeeeep.."

"I know baby.. Come on.. Open those beautiful eyes I love. You don't want to go back to the states right?"

"I am up"

"That's my girl"

"How many hours I slept?"

"Hmm.. I would say half the trip"

"I am sorry Spence"

"It's ok baby"

"Did I snore?"

"Well.."

"I do not snore"

"Just a little"

"I do not"

"But you were cute. I think you scared the poor child infront of us"

"Now you are lying"

She was indeed snoring. It wasn't that much. It was more than heavy breathing. She still thinks that she doesn't snore but everyone can be in denial. Ashley is in denial. And she was drooling. That I found cuter than snoring.

"How long till Greece?"

"Well we have a three hour stop and then four hours from Frankfurt to Greece"

"I don't remember it was that long when I came the first time"

"Maybe you didn't stop"

"Now that you say that I believe we didn't. Spence.. Why you bought tickets for this flight?"  
"Maybe because it's cheaper baby?"

"But I could buy you a ticket"

"Ash.. I am not with you for your money. I work and I have my own. Thank you though. I love you"

"I love you too baby"

I took her hand on mine, came closer to her and locked our lips together. I didn't care that the old man right next to us was looking. I was kissing my girlfriend and that was the most important.

_In 25 minutes we will land to Frankfurt's International Airport. __The weather is 25C and the current time is 6pm. Make sure not to forget your luggages. Thank you for traveling with Lufthansa. Hope you are having a nice stay_

"What are we going to do for three hours?"

"I was thinking we could go and do some shopping at Duty Free. What are you saying?"

"That's why I love you baby"

"Only for that Ash? I am hurt"

"Come here my pouting girl"

Once we landed we didn't have to take our luggage and put them to the next plane. It was already planned to be at the next flight. Cool eh? Ashley was like a little kid. Although I could see how tired she was she wanted to get inside every shop. She bought I don't know how many things. She wanted to buy things for me too but the only thing I let her buy for me was a perfume. My favorite actually. DNKY be delicious Fresh Blossom. And I don't get what it is with Duty free. It's supposed to be cheaper but it's not.

"Baby.. Come on.. Try these jeans. They would look awesome on you and sexy"

"Ash.. No.. I am ok. Please can we go somewhere to eat? I am hungry"

"Can you try this shirt at least?"

"Aaaaasssshhh.."

"Only this shirt. I promise"

"Ok. Give it to me"

If I didn't try the shirt she would pout the entire trip back to Greece and if I didn't we wouldn't go somewhere to eat. I have to say though that the shirt was looking good on me. My girl had taste.

"You like?"

"Baby that looks awesome. We are going to buy it"

When I took it off I checked the price. 150 euros for a shirt? Not even a chance. Even if it was GUESS.

"Ash.. It's expensive. I won't buy it"

"It's not. It's.. 150 euros"

"Do you know how much it costs in dollars?"

"It's cheap"

"No it's not"

"It's 210 dollars for a shirt"

"It's cheap. We are going to buy it miss"

"No we won't"

"Spence, I didn't take you anything for our anniversary"

"Yes you did. We had reservations to Buddha Bar and then you booked a suite at Hilton's"

"That's not a present. We are taking the shirt. And don't even say anything else"

I couldn't win whatever I would say. When Ashley wanted something I couldn't change her mind. Especially when it had to do with her buying me presents.

"You shouldn't buy the shirt baby but thank you"

"Everything for my girl. How much time we have?"

"An hour left"

"Let's go somewhere so my baby can eat"

We sat at a little café and I ordered a sandwich and a coke. Ashley took a salad and water and once we finished we walked to our gate and waited for our flight. In four hours I would be back to my hometown. Back to my family.

My father knew I was coming back. I am sure my mom knew too. We weren't on speaking terms after so many years. The thing is that I wasn't living with them for two years. I rented a small apartment at the same area with my parent's house. I didn't want anything big. I wasn't staying there much since my job required me travelling. Ashley didn't know. She was telling me about renting a room in a hotel. I wanted to surprise her with my little home. Our home. Because as the beach house was ours, my home it was hers too.

The trip back to Athens was my time to sleep. I was so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open. I laid to Ashley's thighs and slept like a baby. Maybe I drooled on her but as she always said she found it cute. Go figured. After four hours I woke up from the pilot's voice.

_Κυρίες και κύριοι, σε λίγα λεπτά προσγειωνόμαστε στο Ελευθέριος Βενιζέλος. Η τοπική ώρα είναι 2πμ και η θερμοκρασία στους 30__C__. Σας ευχαριστούμε που ταξιδέψατε με την __Olympic__Airlines__. Καλή διαμονή._

"What he just said?" before I explain to Ashley what the pilot said they said the exact same thing in English too. To tell you the truth I missed hearing my language.

_Ladies and gentleman, in a few minutes we are arriving __at Athens International Airport, Eleutherios Venizelos. Current time is 2am and the temperature is 30C. Thank you for traveling with Olympic Airlines. We hope you have a nice stay_

"Your language seems difficult"

"It's not difficult"

"It sounded like Chinese to me"

"Because it's different from English. That's why. And Greeks speak at least 2 languages each"

"How you do it?"

"One day I have to sit down and teach you how to speak Greek"

"I want to see you trying"

"I have my methods. Don't worry baby"

Dad would wait for me at the airport. What he didn't know was that I had Ashley with me. After everything that happened my dad was more supportive than my mom but to tell you the truth I didn't know what he would say if he would see Ashley with me.

Once we landed my fear was if my luggage was here and not back to Germany. I was waiting for the orange luggage as always. First came Ashley's and after 5 minutes I saw the orange luggage once again. She did a long trip and she was safe back to my arms. I am strange I know.

"Are we going to take a taxi baby?"

"Ehm.. No.. Someone is waiting"

"Like who?"

Before I answer her I saw my dad waiting. Once the doors opened I found myself crying because I really missed him. I wasn't home for the last year and a half. I run to his arms and hugged him with everything I was.

"Princess.. I missed you honey"

"I missed you too daddy"

"Is this everything you have?"

"Yeah"

"Come. I have the car parked outside"

"Just a moment. I have someone with me"

"Who?"

Ashley was right behind me and its strange how my dad hadn't recognised her. I took her hand and I could feel how sweaty it was. She was nervous

"Ashley dad"

"Ashley?"

"My girlfriend"

"Oh.. Hello Ashley"

"Dad.. It's Ashley. My ex-girlfriend and my current girlfriend"

"Ohh.. Ohhh.. That Ashley?"

"Yes, Mr. Carlin. Nice to meet you"

"You too honey. Did you have a nice trip?"

"It was good. Thank you"

I was happy of how my dad was acting against Ashley. She was already nervous and if he would treat her differently I am sure she wouldn't take it. As strong as she was.

The drive back to my home we talked about everything and nothing with my dad. Ashley would answer to my dad's questions now and then. I am curious how he hasn't asked why Ashley was here with me, or how we were together. But I guess that was my dad and that's why I loved him so much.

An hour later and we were outside my home. I really missed my apartment. My dad was taking care of it while I was gone. Once we were outside Ashley came closer to me. I knew what she wanted to ask me..

"Spence.. Could your dad take me to a hotel nearby?" all I did was to smile.. "Why are you smiling?"

"Come here silly. This is my home. So you are staying with me. I live alone."

"Alone?"

"Yes"

My dad without asking anything he took Ashley's luggage and we followed him inside. Ashley gave me a kiss and all I could think about was that Ashley was here with me and I wouldn't have to sleep alone after a long trip. My girl would sleep right next to me..

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	23. Chapter 23

**Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews..**

* * *

**Chapter 23**

**Ashley's POV**

Surreal. Meaning something bizarre or dreamlike. I am not stupid. I may have finished college after some years but it wasn't because I wasn't clever. It was because I was a rebel. So.. Everything in my life right now is surreal. Spencer, our relationship, following her here in Greece. Dreamlike.

When we were at the airport I thought I would die. It was a feeling that I was losing her but I didn't really. She had to leave for work but still it was like I would never see her again. I can't explain it. When I saw her walking away I knew what I wanted to do. I run and bought a ticket to Greece.

When I reached the check in it was crowed. I was going crazy. I needed to be in front no matter what. I may have pushed some people and they may have called me some names but I didn't care. When I finally reached my goal I had only one person infront of me. Before he does anything I asked him to take his place. I explained to him that the love of my life was leaving and I needed to be with her. Yes, I said her. Well he was a young man. I was a girl, in love with another girl. Do you want me to continue? His answer was _'Be my guest' _with a big smile of course. I kissed him and I took my ticket.

I had nothing on me. No clothes, not anything. Even my car was parked at the airport's parking lot. I took my cell out of my pocket and called Kyla to tell her I was leaving with Spencer. She was screaming over the phone and she was calling me crazy but love is crazy. And I am crazy in love with Spencer. I told her that my car was parked here and that I wanted her to take good care of my plants.

I had only 10 minutes to reach the gate where my flight was ready to take off. As you all know the plane doesn't leave except if all the passengers are inside. And I was late five minutes. Imagine that our gate was in the other side of the airport. Thank God I was fit and I could run or else they would wait for more than 5 minutes. When I reached the gate I gave my ticket to the lady. I got inside and I was searching for Spencer. My seat wasn't near Spencer's and I was hoping that she would be alone so I could sit right next to her. And she was alone. She was looking outside her window. I knew that her seat were next to the window because she was always traveling that way. I came closer and touched her arm. She turned her face and looked at me surprised.

"Is this seat taken?" yeah I know. I can be a smart ass but she loves me either way.

"No.. It's… not"

"Good"

When she was waking away I couldn't breathe. Now I was alive again. Because when you are away from the person you love the most everything seems black. I was following my love to Greece without knowing what would happen. I just wanted to be with her.

The trip was long. Way too long but the good thing is that our four hour stop in Frankfurt made me really happy. I bought I don't know how many clothes and I wanted to buy things for Spencer too but she didn't let me. But she knows I am stubborn and I bought her a shirt that looked so good on her and her favorite perfume. I could buy her the whole world if I could and that because she is my princess and because she doesn't ask for anything. That's how I know that she loves me for who I am and not for what I have.

The trip to Frankfurt I was sleeping and now was her time to sleep. She looked like an angel when she was sleeping. All I did was to look at her. She didn't snore but she was drooling and she was so cute. I was stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. Whenever I was doing that she was smiling. The strange thing is that I know she was asleep but she could sense me as I could sense her. She was my girl, my angel. My one and only love.

Before we land to Athens I heard the pilot saying something in Greek. I have to say that it's true when someone says that 'this sounds like Greek to me' because it does. Her language seems I don't know. Difficult to comprehend. How she speaks so fluently it's beyond myself. But I guess she grew up in Greece and she went school there so basically my question is stupid. Of course she can speak Greek fluently. What I love the most though it's her Greekism. Although she studied here for a year she still uses her Greekism that I find so cute. And her accent? Even cuter. I wish you could hear her talk.

When we finally landed I didn't know where I would sleep for the night. I was trying to persuade her to sleep with me in a hotel we would find but every time she would smile.

Once we landed and we had our luggage with us I thought that we would take a taxi but she surprised me once again. The doors opened and I saw her father. After four years but I still remembered her father's face. You can't forget being naked on the bed with your girlfriend and two parents looking at you. No. You can't forget.

I was standing right behind her when she was hugging him. I was nervous like hell. I didn't know what he would say once he would lay his eyes on me. I didn't know what I was supposed to say. And to tell you the truth I was afraid. I was afraid because I didn't know what Spencer would do even her father would see me here with her. I was scared to death that she would break up with me. She stopped my mind for going darker when she reached my hand.

"Ashley dad" I didn't know what that meant. I wasn't listening while they were talking. I just heard my name and came back to reality.

"Ashley?"

"My girlfriend" she called me her girlfriend in front of her father. Now I was trembling but she was still holding my hand.

"Oh.. Hello Ashley" and he shaked my hand. I didn't expect a reaction like this.

"Dad.. It's Ashley. My ex-girlfriend and my current girlfriend"

"Ohh.. Ohhh.. That Ashley?"

"Yes, Mr. Carlin. Nice to meet you" like I could say anything else. I was embarrassed to tell you the truth but her father seemed ok. I knew that her parents knew about her but I never asked how her relationship was with them. Mr Carlin seemed ok.

The drive to I suppose their home I heard Spencer and her dad talking about anything. He asked her about her job and her trips to South America, he asked her about her grandparents but he never asked her about me. How we were together here. How I was her girlfriend again when they told her to break up with me. He didn't ask and to tell you the truth that was for the best. What he asked me was if I was working, how was my trip and simple things like that.

An hour later and I knew where we were. It reminded me where I stayed the other time. I knew that we were close to Spencer's home. All I was thinking was to find a hotel near her. Mr Carling stopped outside some apartments blocks. He took Spencer's luggage outside the car and walked inside. I leaned closer to Spencer and asked her if her father could drive me somewhere near. She smiled again and I couldn't not ask why.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Come here silly. This is my home. So you are staying with me. I live alone."

"Alone?"

"Yes"

I didn't know she was living alone. When she referred to her home back to Greece I thought she meant her parent's home. But her living alone made me really happy. I cupped her face and gave her a soft kiss. I didn't want her father to see us. He knew about us but I didn't want to kiss his daughter in front of him. That wouldn't be right. Her dad took our luggage inside her apartment. He said goodnight to us and then we left all alone.

"So baby? You like my apartment?"

Her apartment wasn't big. It had two bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a living room. For her though was perfect. I guess I am used to where I live back in Cali but her apartment was her. I could see her inside. The walls were orange and green. She had amazing paintings on her walls. Her fridge and oven were steel. It was minimal and I liked it. Her curtains were light yellow and light red. She had two red couches and an orange lounge chair. In simple words her living was perfect and very relaxing.

"I love it baby. It's beautiful"

"Come with me so you can see our bedroom"

I liked it when she called her bedroom 'ours'. She made me feel like it was our home.

Her bedroom had the same colors as her living room. Orange wall with yellow, a painting of the opera of Sydney and her desk. Small but beautiful. What I liked was that she had a twin bed. And what I could do to that bed.. Mmm..

"You like baby?" I didn't say anything. I just kissed her and took her in my arms. I wouldn't care if her house had only a bed. I had her and that was enough for me.

"I love you Spence"

"And I love you. Very much Ms Davies. Do you want to take a shower baby? We can put out our things tomorrow."

"Yes. I so need a shower. Are you interesting of taking one with me Ms Carlin?"

"Mmmm… Tempting.. If you promise to be a good girl maybe"

"I don't know what you are implying. I am always a good girl"

"Not always baby. Most of the times you are a naughty girl"

"But you like that side baby"

"I like all of you baby. So are you going to strip from your clothes or do you want me to help you?" oh I knew that smirk. I knew it so well. Of course I stripped from my clothes and I did it really really slow. I could see her biting her bottom lip. Someone could assume that we would be tired after a long trip. Let me say that I will never be tired making love to my girlfriend.

Once I took off and the last piece of cloth, that would be my panties, I came closer and placed kisses on her lips and her neck. I removed her shirt and unbuttoned her pants. I took off her pants together with her panties and I had her there, standing only with her bra.. She looked at me and she removed it by herself never taking her eyes away from mine..

"Will you follow me baby?"

"Show me the way"

I followed her inside her bathroom. It was good she had a shower and not a bathtub and that because I was thinking of taking her against her wall while she was standing. She took the shower head and watered my skin. It felt so good because she was using her hands too. Everything with Spencer was like it was our first time. We were standing under the water when I felt her hands touching my wet center.

"Oh God baby.."

"I want you so bad Ash.."

While she was rubbing my clit I was doing the exact same thing to her and God.. She was making me even wetter with how good she felt. After minutes we came to each others fingers. I wanted her so much that I couldn't even hold it any more. I wanted nothing more than to come for her. Scream her name..

"Speeeeencer.. baaaaaby.."

"Come for me baby.. I want us to come together" I knew I was close as I knew she was too. We came both, screaming our names..

"Goooooooood baaaby.. Aaaaash.."

"You are amazing baby.. I love you"

"I love you too.."

A long trip, making love to my girlfriend and sleeping right next to her. Precious..

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey guys.. Here is the new chapter. Unfortunately i won't be able to update more than once a week but if i do then of course i will write. The story is coming to its end. I am thinking 6 chapters more. Maybe less.. Hope you like and sorry again for my absence. You know how life is..**

* * *

**Chapter 24**

**Spencer's POV**

Do you ever have a bad feeling that something is going to happen? Like a six sense? You have that feeling that tells you that you don't have to do something, or go outside, or drive. Sometimes you have to listen what your heart is telling you.

Since the day we left from the states I had a bad feeling. I didn't know what was it but I would wake up at night soaking wet. I didn't want to scare Ashley because, I myself, didn't know what it was.

I stayed in Athens only for a week. I tried to be with Ashley as much as possible because I didn't know for how long I would be away this time. I could see in her eyes that she was sad but at least I was happy she was here with me. We were sleeping and we were waking up together. That was the most important.

I talked with my mom. The talk wasn't eventful. I think she could understand now that this is who I am and Ashley is the one that makes me happy. Of course I told her that Ashley was here and that she was living with me. She didn't say anything. She just nodded and continued the small talk we had. I was glad I saw my brother. How boys grow up so fast? I haven't seen him for a year and he looked older than me. He was my dad's height now. A nice young man. I still remember him playing his computer games when he was fourteen. Now he was a twenty year old studying Archeology. But I am sure he hasn't stopped playing his games.

Days and nights were coming and going. One day I got the call I was waiting. I still didn't know where they would send me this time. I was curious. I loved traveling. That's not something new. But when you have someone you love so much and your job requires for you to leave, it's not that easy. That morning the feeling I had got worst.

"Spencer.. We missed you. The photos you send us were amazing. Mr Papastavrou was right for you. You are a very talented photographer"

"Thank you very much sir."

"How was your vacation?"

"It was nice. I visited my grandparents"

"Nice. Are you exited you are back?"

"Sure I am"

"Ok. Follow me at my office. I need to tell you about your new trip"

Am I exited that I am back? I don't know. Yes and no. I was exited that I was back to Greece but I wasn't exited that I had to leave Ashley again. I wish that everything were simple in life. But unfortunately they aren't.

"Spencer this trip will be kind of difficult. You know what is going on now in the east. You and our best photographers are going to Irak and Afganistan. The next issue has to do with the war."

When he told me that he caught me off guard. Irak? Afganistan? War? I don't know if I was ready for that. I never liked war. And my country had a lot of wars already in her history. I don't know if I wanted to find myself in the middle of something that has a lot of pain.

"Sir, thank you very much but I don't know.. Maybe I don't have the experience to be one of the team. I don't even work for a year here"

"Spencer, you are the most talented photographer I have ever seen. So please. Your other work was amazing. I promise you that everything is going to be ok. You don't have to be in the battlement. We would never put you in that position. You will have your passes and you will be guarded by the soldiers." That was my job. And you can't deny your job..

"When are we leaving?"

"In three days. Everything you will need is in this folder. If you want anything to ask call me."

"Thank you"

Leaving the office I was holding the folder really tight in my hands. I haven't opened it yet. Scared maybe? It was my job and I had to be professional. Being a photographer it's not easy. I guess my other trip was easy and beautiful. But this one, this one is going to be hard for me. And Ashley.. How am I going to tell her that I am going there? Back in the states they still cry about this war. I just hope that everything is going to be ok as my boss said. And telling Ashley? I don't know yet. I am thinking of not telling her. I don't want to make her worry. I have to find something to tell her before I am home.

The drive back home was excruciating. And hour and seemed liked a year. I still was thinking what to tell Ashley. I would tell her I would go in Scotland. Yes. Scotland is beautiful and one of the countries I want to visit. Scotland it is.

"Miss.. Miss.. Excuse me. We are here"

"Oh, I am sorry. How much?"

"15 euros"

"Thank you"

When I opened the door to my apartment I found Ashley sitting in the living room and watching tv. I liked it when I was coming back home and I was finding her here. Once I closed the door she turned her gaze from the tv and I saw that smile of hers that every time I was looking at her it just cracked me. I love her so much..

"Spence, you are back"

"Yes, after a very long day" I said and kissed her on her forehead. I put my folder on the table and sat right next to her

"Big day?"

"Very big. So what did you do while I was at work?"

"Watching some tv"

"But Ash.. You don't know the language"

"Since you are not teaching me missy I have to learn on my own"

"Hey.. I tried but you didn't cooperate with me. You are a difficult student"

"Maybe you didn't try much"

"Yeah, right.."

"So..?" she said and looked at me with those sad eyes. I knew what that 'so' meant. And I knew that I would lie to her. But it would be for the best. At least I hope it's for the best

"So..?"

"Come on Spence. You know what I mean. Where are they sending you?" I paused for a moment. I thought about telling her the truth but I couldn't.

"Scotland. They want me to photograph Nessie"

"Who?"

"Nessie. The monster of Loch Ness"

"You are kidding right?"

"Nope. And once I will then I will have to photograph the ghosts living in the deserted castles"

"Ok, now I know you are kidding"

"Yes baby. Now I do. But I have to photograph the castles and everything that is Scotland"

"Nice, and do you know when you come back?" that I haven't asked and I haven't read my folder. My answer to her would be true..

"Nope. I know when I am leaving though"

"When?" Her voice had that sad tone that I hated. I didn't want to make her sad. She didn't look at me.

"In three days. What are you going to do? Are you going back to the states?"

"I have nothing back there"

"Ash.. You have Kyla and your students. Of course you have someone"

"I can't be there Spence. I need to be close to you. If I am back to the states I will be far away and I don't want to. Do you.. do you want me to leave? I can find a hotel and stay if you don't want me here"

"Baby, no. Of course not. I want you here. You can stay here. My house is yours too. Ok?"

"Ok" I leaned closer and kissed her lips. I haven't kissed her for about 7 hours and her kisses always relaxed me. She always relaxed me

"Sweetie, I am going to take a shower. Do you want anything to eat?"

"Mmm.. What you have in mind?"

"I was thinking.. pizza"

"Nooo.. I don't want pizza"

"What about Chinese?"

"Nooo.. I don't want Chinese either. What about that thing with the meat on the stick?" I had to laugh in that. She was so cute

"You mean souvlaki?"

"Yeah, that. Can we order that?"

"Yes you can order. I have the phone over there"

"But Spence, I don't speak Greek"

"Oh, sorry Ash. How many?"

"Hmm.. Three"

"Ok.."

I gave the order and went to my bathroom. I took the folder inside so I could read it alone. I didn't want Ashley to find it and read it. Irak, Afganistan. Three months. Three months weren't much but I had to worry because of where I was going. I wasn't a war correspondent. I was just a photographer. I may have stayed inside the bathroom for more than an hour because Ashley was the one to knock my door and bring me back to reality.

"Baby, are you ok in there? The solaki is here" I laughed while opening the door..

"Ash, it's souvlaki. No solaki"

"Anyway. Are you ready?"

"Yes, I am"

We laid there, enjoying each others company. Tomorrow was another day and another day that was coming closer to my leave. Tomorrow I would call my dad and tell him about this mission. At least one had to know..

"So.. Loch Ness eh?"

"Yeah, I don't know why you are smiling. Loch Ness Ash"

"I never been in Scotland"

"Well, Scotland is a very beautiful country."

"Can we go there together one day? Since you are going there you can show me everything next time" I had to smile because inside I was crying and screaming. I had to smile and tell her that of course we would go there. I would take her in the stars if she asked me too

"Of course we will" I was tired and I knew that after my shower I would fall asleep on her. She knew it already.

"Yawing baby?"

"I am tired"

"Let's go to bed then"

"But Ash, it's early for you"

"You can sleep and I can read"

"Read? Really Ash?"

"Shut up. Of course I am reading."

"Why I never saw you before?"

"Maybe because I haven't infront of you?"

"Hmm.. Are you wearing glasses too?"

"I don't believe you"

"Oh, come on. I know you do. Don't hide them from your girlfriend."

"Maybe"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe I am wearing glasses"

"Hmmm.. sexy.. Can't wait to see you wearing them"

"Only if you are a good girl"

"I am always a.." before I finish she kissed me. She kissed me and felt so good

"Maybe I don't want you to be a good girl for once"

"I'll see what I can do"

"Now come on my sleepy princess. You can sleep and I am going to read to you"

"Mmmm.. I like.."

Tomorrow is another day. I am going to enjoy my days with Ashley as much as I can. And in three months I am going to be back in her arms.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	25. Chapter 25

**Happy Halloween guys.. trick or treat? Have fun and be careful out there..**

* * *

**Chapter 25**

**Spencer's POV**

_The scenery was like those pictures you see. Homes bombardised__, destroyed. All grey and black. Children on the roads running, mothers crying over their beloved ones. Death was everywhere. My team was always together. We had the soldiers protecting us. We had our passes saying we weren't journalists but photographers. I was afraid. Afraid of what to come. Afraid of dying. Afraid of not telling Ashley how much I love her. And then bam.._

I woke up sweating. I woke up because Ashley was calling my name. It was a dream. The last two days I had the same dream. The dream that someone shoots at me and then I wake up. Two days and I still haven't said anything to Ashley about where I was going. But I knew that was wrong. She needed to know. I couldn't keep it anymore. She didn't deserve it. And we were starting again from the beginning. No lies. I promised her.

"Spence, what is it baby? Again with the dream?"

"Yeah"

"Are you ok?"

"Not really Ash.."

I knew that it was now or never. I didn't want my dream to come true. I was prepared of what to come. I was prepared for her reaction.. At least I think I was..

"What is it Spence?" she was trying to calm me with the only way she knew. She put her hand behind my back and she was doing circles with her fingers.

"Ash.. I lied" up until that moment I couldn't look at her in her eyes. But now I needed to know. If I would look those brown eyes I would know..

"You what?"

"I lied about my trip" she got up from our bed and started pacing back and forth. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. I put myself in her shoes and tried to understand her.

"I don't understand. You are leaving tomorrow. What about your trip?"

"I am not going to Scotland" I said with my face not looking at her. I couldn't see her face. I didn't want to see her mad at me, although she would have all the right in the world

"And where are you going? And why you lied to me Spence? I don't understand"

"Iraq" I said whispering the name and not saying that loud.

"Where?"

"Iraq" I said one more time.

"You are going where?"

"Please Ash, please don't make say that again. I am going to Iraq and I lied about that. I am sorry that I did. I didn't want to make you worry."

"I can't believe this is happening. You lied to me about something that important Spencer? How could you? And Iraq? I would be in the dark as long you would be there? Nice. Very nice. So mature of you. And I thought you changed"

It is true. They say that sometimes words hurt like when someone hits you on the face. And she was right. I was supposed to be a grown up woman and not the child she met years before. But I didn't want to worry her. My mistake.

I stayed there. Not saying anything. Like I could. She was still pacing the room and she couldn't even look at me. I just wish she could look at me.

"We were supposed to start from the beginning. For a relationship to be strong what we need is to be truthful to each other. I still can't believe that you were lying to me all these days Spencer. What you were waiting eh? Like something happen over there and then find that days later? It would be better for someone to tell me that you were hurt and I would be in my cloud thinking that you were in Scotland?"

"You have all the right to be mad at me. I understand"

"Mad? You think I am mad? I am so worried right now. I am so worry and pissed at you for not telling me."

"Again. I understand completely. If you want to leave and need time to think about us.."

"Leave?"

"Yeah, I lied to you. You say you are not mad but I can see it and I can hear you. I am sorry again. I don't know what else to say than I am sorry"

I started crying. I was afraid of losing her. I was afraid that my stupid mistake would cost us. My relationship with her. What I didn't expect was for her to come back to where I was and sit right next to me. Take my hand on hers..

"I know what your job is. I knew it from when we started to talk. I know that it's not going to be easy. I accepted that. I accepted that I wouldn't see you for months or a year. But Spencer, it's Iraq. And you didn't tell me. You know how it is down there. How would you feel if I hidden something from you?"

"Probably I would react the way you did"

"And for me it's even harder because you are my baby girl. I can't imagine you being there, having to take pictures over dead bodies and everything. You are still young"

"I am 25 Ash"

"So not the point. The point is that tomorrow you are leaving to go to that shit place and you are going to be alone. I wish you were flying to Scotland tomorrow"

"I wish that too. I didn't want to go Ash. Believe me I didn't."

"So you are going to be there for three months?"

"Iraq and Afghanistan. Three months"

"And Afghanistan?" she said looking at me. I thought I told her but I guess looking at how she was looking at me right now I guess I didn't.

"It's only three months Ash. I promise I will be careful and I will call you every day."

"I think I need some air. All this is too much for me"

She needed space and I would give her what she needed. I should have told her from the beginning. But now she knew and that was the most important. I would let her be the one to decide what she wanted to do. I wanted to be with her. To return back in her arms after three months. That's all I wanted.

After an hour Ashley came back home. I was starting to worry. My house was close to the sea so I knew she would go there and calm herself. I knew it because it was something I would do and for us the ocean was always our thing.

I was sitting in the living room when I heard the door open. She seemed sad. Disappointed. I didn't know what was better. Her being disappointed in me or her yelling at me? She came and sat next to me. I turned the tv off and looked at her..

"Promise me you will not die over there. Because if you do I don't know what I am going to do. Promise me you will call me every day and you will be back home one piece" I touched her hand and smiled. I didn't know what I would do if she left me. I don't know if I would come back from there.

"I promise. So am I forgiven?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't know. That's what I am asking"

"Don't you ever think of lying to me again and especially about something that important"

"Yes. Thank you Ash"

"Does your parents know?"

"I told my dad yesterday in case something.. you know"

"No. I don't want to know. You promised and you better keep that promise"

"I promised"

"What time are you flying tomorrow?"

"Early. At 7.30am"

"So we have almost 24 hours together."

"Yeah"

"Let's get back to our bed"

We didn't get up from our bed the whole day. We laid there, cuddling and sleeping. Ashley only got up to make us something to eat because my stomach was growling and then she came back and cuddled with me under the covers. I was glad she wasn't going anywhere because I didn't know if I could take it. I didn't know if I would survive the same pain again.

Unfortunately though time goes so fast.. The next day was here and I found myself packing my last things. Ashley being there helping me with my stuff. I didn't like the whole situation.. And if it was for us to have a future I had to think what I would do after I would get back from Iraq.

"Are you ready Spence? Your dad is here"

"Yeah, I am ready. Let's go"

My mom and dad were downstairs as my brother too. They were making it harder for me. Ashley had tears in her eyes but she was trying to cover them up. It was my job and they were making it hard. I wasn't a soldier. I would be back in three months.

"Let's go princess. We have to be there in half an hour"

We all got inside my dad's car. Thank God for Jeeps. All the way to the airport everyone was silent. Ashley was holding my hand and most of the times she would squeeze it. I knew that she was afraid and I was feeling just the same. I made her a promise though. And I would keep it.

"Spence go inside with the others. I have to park the car and I will come to find you"

"Ok daddy"

My mom was civilized and that surprised me. She knew that whatever she would say about me and Ashley, this time I wouldn't listen to her. If she wanted to be a part of my life she would have to accept Ashley and me. Glen from the other hand didn't care. He was lost in his world.

I gave my luggage and did my check in. I had only half an hour till I had to go to my gate and say my goodbyes to my family and Ashley.

"Spencer, please be careful over there. Ok? Call us every day. Stay close to the soldiers"

"Yes dad. Don't worry. I am not crazy jumping in front of fire"

"Spencer, I mean it."

"I told her the same Mr Carlin and she promised me"

At that moment my mom touched my hands and looked at me in the eyes.

"Please be careful. Don't make us and Ashley worry. Ok?"

"Yes mom"

"Princess we are going to give you some minutes with Ashley. So come here and give your dad a hug and a kiss"

I kissed my family and held them so tight to my chest. When I left for the states when I was 17 it wasn't like that. I don't know why but this right now was breaking my heart.

"Ashley we are going to wait for you outside. Ok?"

"Yes, Mr. Carlin. Thank you"

And then we were only me and Ashley. We sat next to each other and I put my head on her shoulders. She held me in her arms and she whispered how much she loved me. I cried. And she did the same.

"Spence, come back to me ok?"

"I will. I will call you every day."

"You better"

"Take care of our home. Ok? I don't want to come back and find my plants dead"

"Don't worry"

It was time for me to say goodbye. It was time for me to walk again and try not to look back. But I knew that I wouldn't be able to do that.

"Kiss me"

I leaned closer and I cupped her face giving her a full kiss. I couldn't.. I wanted to stay and don't leave her..

"Go because if you don't I am going to keep here"

"I love you"

"I love you more. And don't say not possible" she said and smiled at me. I loved that smile of hers and that would be what would keep me safe there..

"Not possible"

I gave her a last kiss and gave my passport to the guy. I stopped for a moment looking at her. She mouthed ' I love you' and I did the same. I blew her a kiss and tried not to look back. When I thought I was far away I stopped and looked one more time. She was still there.. That's when I felt my tears hot again on my face and a text from her telling me to be careful.. I wanted nothing more than this trip to end..

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey guys.. Take your time and read Oliveroxx96 and her story Always & Forever. She is a new writer and she is doing good.**

**As for this chapter is going to be hard. No. Spencer is not dead.. For now.. ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 26**

**Spencer's POV**

Did you ever have the chance to travel by plane? That heavenly silence above the clouds, the sadness down on earth with rain and snow when above everything is so calm, so perfect? I traveled a lot in my life and every time I feel like I am touching God when I am flying. I feel that I am close to something beyond us. Something pure. That's how I feel now watching from my window the clouds. And the sky.. So beautiful. For a moment I forgot where I am going and if I am going to have that silence again.

The other photographers were already in Iraq. I was the last one that would arrive. The last one and the younger one. All were professionals with amazing work till now in National Geographic and awards. To work with them was something I was hoping for. To work in that particular project.. It wasn't.

When I arrived at the airport I knew that would be someone waiting for me there. The village that we would stay was a two hour drive away. Someone Mr. Ali Sanri would wait for me at the airport and he would take me there. Once I arrived I searched for that sign and when I found the man I remembered my first trip to California and my grandparents waiting for me with that sign. At that moment I thought about Ashley.

"Ms Carlin?"

"Yes, Mr Sanri?"

"Yes Ms. Follow me. I have the car outside waiting"

Going outside I didn't expect it to be like that. It didn't remind me of what I read and seen. It was just another country, another airport.

"Ms Carlin, lets go please. We have to leave now because later on the troops would be near the village"

And then reality hit me. What he said brought me back to reality. It wasn't another airport in Europe. It wasn't another bright city. It was a country of pain, a city of crying and the city of death.

Our village was between Baghdad and the city of Ramadi. Only 2000 people were leaving there. So that meant we were close to the center of the war.

"How was your trip Ms Carlin?"

"It was nice. Thank you"

Mr Sanri didn't look like an Arab. At least not the kind we were used to. He seemed European and his English were very good except from the accent of course. I was curious about him..

"Mr Sanri. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course Ms"

"What exactly you are doing here?"

"I am a doctor actually. I was born here but when I was eighteen years old I moved to England with my family. When I finished college I decided to come here and help children and families that had no money. And after the war happened I couldn't leave. So I am still here"

"I see. So your family is still in England?"

"Yes. My mother, father and three sisters are still there"

"I am sure they are worried for you"

"They are. Here it's very difficult as you already know. It was for years but with the war everything changed for the worst. You have to be very careful Ms"

"Thank you. I have a family that worries about me too"

"Stay close with the other photographers and close to the soldiers. Everything is going to be fine"

"I hope so"

The two hour drive was like I was playing in a movie of Emir Kusturica. I was looking outside and I all I could see was houses abandoned, houses destroyed, and people on the streets walking to nowhere. Soldiers and army jeeps. I felt my heart stop at the sight. I felt small. Being a photographer it's not easy. Now I understand how difficult it is to be a war correspondent. What they see every day. Yes, coming here wasn't my choice but being here it was starting changing me as a person even if I was there only for two hours.

"We are here Ms. You are going to stay with the other photographers in that house over there. I am going to be here whenever and for anything you will need."

"Thank you Mr Sanri"

I didn't have a lot of things with me. Only what I needed. Things that I wouldn't find here. And of course no shorts or dresses or anything girly. Pants and long shirts with long sleeves.

"Carlin you are here. We were waiting for you"

"Hey John. Where are the others?"

"They are somewhere here. So.. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I could be regarding the place John and the conditions"

"I guess you are right"

John was a very good photographer. He wasn't that older from me. He was thirty two and he already traveled all over the world. China, Europe, Australia. Think of a country and city. He has been there. It wasn't the first time for him photographing war or the consequences of the war. He was one of the best and he was a good friend.

"John will you excuse me for a moment? I need to call my family"

"Of course Carlin. I am sure they are worried"

"Thank you"

I turned my cell to international. I knew that this would cost me a lot of money but I couldn't not hear Ashley's voice or my parents. First I called my parents and then Ashley. My parents asked me how was my trip, where I was staying, if everything was ok. The told me to be careful once again and call them again tomorrow. I told them I loved them and then I called Ashley. After one beep she answered her phone.

"Spence?"

"Hey baby. Yes it's me. How you knew it was me?"

"I saw the unknown number and I knew that you already landed. I called the airport. Why you didn't call me once you landed Spence?"

Hearing her voice reminded me of the clouds and how calm I was up there. Once I heard her voice I thought I was laying right next to her and all I have seen today were gone.

"Ash, I couldn't call you right away. First off someone was with me and I didn't want him to listen to me talking to my girlfriend. So once we were at the village I called you right away"

"How was your trip baby?"

"It was ok."

"And how is everything over there"

"As you know Ash. Whatever we watched on the tv is real. That's all I have to say"

"You made a promise. Please be careful. Ok? Because if something happens to you.."

"Nothing will happen. Our village is protected and we have soldiers night and day. So don't worry. You are too young to have grey hair"

"I am going to look sexy with grey hair as well"

"I am sure you will baby. Ash.. I have to leave. I will call you again tomorrow. Ok? Don't know when but I am going to call you. Love you"

"Love you too Spence. Always. Goodnight baby"

"Goodnight my love"

After we finished our short conversation I felt my eyes tearing. I didn't want to but I couldn't keep my tears back. I had to compose myself though. I had a job to do and I would do it no matter what. And as I promised to my family I would be careful.

After an hour all photographers we were in the living room, or short of a living room. It was me, John and another two men older than John. I didn't know them in person but I knew who they were. Mr Sanri was here too as another Arab man that I didn't know.

"This is Al Yandi Suab. He is going to be your translator in case you need something. He is going to teach you some words and phrases"

Everyone greeted Mr Suab as I did the same. I was the only girl there and I didn't feel comfortable. The good thing is that John was here.

Each one of us had a folder. We knew what we had to do, schedule, time, where to go. We would take our photographs but we had to be close next to each other. We knew where we were and I am sure that no one was trying to play it a hero.

"Let's get some rest. Tomorrow is a big day and we have to get up early. Spencer. This is going to be your room. John, Ted and me we are going to share the other room"

"Thank you."

"Tomorrow at 6am sharp we have to be ready and leave. No one is allowed to be late. You heard me?"

"Yes, Tomas. We know."

My room had only a bed and a washbasin. The whole house didn't have a bathroom. We had to go outside. It reminded me of how houses were back in 1920. I didn't expect a mansion and I was glad that we at least had a roof over our heads.

I didn't sleep right away. I couldn't actually. I sat there, lying on my back looking my pictures with Ashley. I stopped in one particular. I took that picture when we were back to the states and we were at the beach. She didn't know that I was taking her a picture. She had her feet in the water and she was looking at the ocean. I stood up from where I was sitting and I captured her while the sun was setting. Once I took that picture I came behind her and wrapped my hands around her. I laid my head on her shoulders and kissed her neck. I remember that day so clear. It was like it happened yesterday. I refused to cry again. I tried to close my eyes and dream of Ashley.

Next day I woke up at 5am. As Tomas said I couldn't be late and I wasn't planning to. I washed my face and visited the outdoor bathroom. Dressed and had a cup of coffee. None of the guys were up till 5.30am. They were ready thought at 6am. Men will always be men. We took our cameras and our passes and got inside the jeep that was waiting for us outside.

"Gentlemen and lady. We are going to arrive at the target in twenty minutes. You are going to stay there for half an hour. You are not allowed to leave the place. You have to be close to us. Not think of doing anything stupid. Here it's war and not a party."

"Yes, sir" we said unison. He was kind of scary. But I am sure he has seen more death that all of us will ever seen.

"You are here. Remember. Half an hour. Do what you have to do and be careful"

"Yes, sir"

We were in a village next to ours. It was destroyed. We stepped outside the jeep and we all started taking pictures. No one tried to leave our circle. No man, woman or child. I was very careful of where I was walking. I could see blood on the walls and ground. My hands started shaking. I had to compose myself. I tried to get inside a house and take a picture. I thought that it wouldn't be anyone inside. But I was wrong. A dead family was laying there with white sheets to cover their bodies. I felt my stomach coming up to my mouth. I couldn't take that picture. I wanted to take some air. Once I was outside I threw up and tried to support myself on the wall. That's when John came and I felt his hand on my shoulder

"Spencer.. What is it? Are you ok?" I couldn't talk. I shook my head no. I couldn't say the words. John went inside and in seconds he was back outside sitting next to me. "It's ok. Relax. Spencer, it's going to be ok. Here. Take some water"

I took the water he offered me and spit some of it. I didn't know why those people were still inside. Why no one did anything about them. Why they didn't bury them.

"Let's go Spencer. Let's go back to the car. Here. Let me help you"

He put his hands behind my back to support me and helped me walk there. The soldier came and I needed to ask him that question that was still inside me. Why?

"Sir, there were.. people.. there.. dead.. a family. No one? No one took care of them?"

"Ms, this village was bombardised four days ago. We had to make sure how many people were alive. As for the dead we couldn't do anything. It's not in our charge"

"But.. but.. they are.. human beings.. You can't let them there"

It was like I was talking to a wall. I couldn't understand how they were thinking. I knew that I was here only for a day but I wouldn't let those people unburied if I was them.

"We should leave. Half an hour is over."

Tomas and Ted were here too. They saw me and John and asked immediately what happened. John told them while the soldier was on the wheel, expressionless.

How I could call my family and tell them I was ok? How I could call my family and tell them of what I have seen? I couldn't. I had to tell them I was ok and for them not to worry. It was only my first day.

In our village where photographers from all over the world, journalists, doctors. It was the center of everything. It was a small community. Once we were back I tried to find Mr Sanri. I wasn't feeling that well after what I have seen and I needed him to give me something to relax.

Once I was back home I took what Mr Sanri gave me and tried to fall asleep. I couldn't call my family or Ashley at that time. If I did I would cry and I would make them worry. Something I didn't want to do.

I slept for a couple of hours and when I woke up it was already noon. I knew that in the evening we would go to Baghdad. So if I were to call I had to make that call now. This time I called Ashley first.

"Spence?"

"It's me Ash"

"What is it? Are you ok?"

"Of course I am. Why?"

"Because you don't sound like that" she knew me so well. She always knew only by hearing my voice.

"I am just tired baby. That's all"

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"Yes, sweetie. Just tired"

"How was it today?"

"Difficult. Not what I expected"

"I am sorry baby"

"It's going to be ok. Don't worry. Ash I have to call my parents. I hate that I can't talk to you more. I want you to know that I love you very much"

"I know Spence. I miss you and I love you too. Call me tomorrow again. Ok? Love you baby"

"Love you too Ash"

I promised myself that whatever I would see here I wouldn't tell my parents and Ashley. It was my hell and not theirs. What happened today it was difficult and in order for me to complete my assignment I had to be a photographer and do my job.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

**Ashley's POV**

It has been already a month since Spencer left for Iraq. Every day that she was away it was getting harder and harder. Not only for me but for her as well. I knew Spencer. I have known her since we got together as a couple. I knew who she was and when she was closing herself. The first days we were talking I knew that something wasn't ok. I could hear her voice and I would just know that something was wrong. At first I thought it was her being tired and of course her job wasn't easy. I didn't want to pressure her to tell me. I wanted nothing more than to be there for her and hold her in my arms.

After the first week she wasn't my Spencer. The fifteen minutes we usually talked now were only five. That awful place was taking in charge inside her and I knew. I couldn't do anything about it. Every time I would tell her that I was here, waiting for her, loving her and that I couldn't wait to take her in my arms and kiss her. I knew she had a lot to say but not once I heard her say anything. The only thing she said was that _'it's not easy here Ash'_ and she was shattering me again. I thought I knew why and I couldn't be mad at her. When I asked her father if she was talking more with them, Arthur would tell me the same. Spencer was like that to all of us. And it was hurting me.

I tried as much as I could to be supportive and understand the situation. It was like when a soldier was coming back from Iraq. Of course I don't know the feeling but I have seen series and now I could understand. I wasn't there to know what my girl was thinking but I am sure it wasn't all roses. That's why I was hurting. I was scared that I was losing her day by day. That place was taking her away from me.

As for me, this one month in Greece was difficult. Arthur was a nice man and I was glad that Spencer had him as a father. He would come by from Spencer's house and see how I was doing and if I needed anything. Paula came one or two times but I didn't expect more from her. At least she was trying. As for me and the Greek language I was trying to teach myself but I was failing each time. Only Spencer could help me, and I wanted to learn only if Spencer was here. So although I was watching the news every day I couldn't understand a thing about what they were saying.

Every morning and evening I would go to the beach and walk or run. Every morning and evening I had my phone on me in case Spencer called. She never had a specific time so I didn't want to miss her call. Every day I was hoping I could hear her laugh again and every day I was praying that she would be safe there. I couldn't wait for these two months to finish and Spencer to come back.

Besides everything that she was feeling, Spencer always called me. Even to say she was ok and that she loved me. At least that place didn't take love away from her. She could still say that she loved me and when she did I always had tears in my eyes.

It was another day that I was away from her. One month and six days to be exact. I was with Arthur walking by the sea. He was like a father to me and I never felt like that after I lost my father. I was glad I had him and that I could talk to him. And I was glad that he was supportive of me and Spencer.

"What are you thinking Ashley?"

"Spencer"

"Did you talk with her yesterday?"

"Yes. She called me round 8pm. She sounded tired. Mr C, I can't see her like that."

"I know. Spencer was always like this. She was always keeping things to herself. And if we tried to tell her not to she would get pissed."

"I know. I've been there and know how she gets"

"Do you love my daughter Ashley?"

"Very much. So much that sometimes I think that if something happens to her I think that I.." I couldn't finish. I stopped and sat down to a bench with my hands hiding my face because of my tears. Arthur came and sat right next to me and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Ashley nothing will happen. Do you know why? Because Spencer loves you as much you love her. And believe me once she is home I am going to tell her to quit that job. It's way too stressing for all of us."

"I was thinking to tell her the same Mr C but I didn't know if I should. That's her job and I can't interfere. And I wouldn't want for her to think otherwise"

"Don't worry Ashley. I am going to tell her. National Geographic is a very good magazine. But sometimes I am scared of where they are going to send her next. She is my only daughter"

"I know what you mean Mr C. And she is my girl"

"Now what you think of heading back home? The sun is already setting"

"I think you are right"

Spencer's house wasn't that far away from her parent's house. Actually it was a 15 minutes walk. Once we said goodnight with Arthur I stepped the stairs to our apartment and left my keys on the table. I turned on the tv and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. I stayed there for a couple of minutes trying to get rid anything that was stressing me out. Once I finished the news of 5pm were almost finishing. I removed the towel and wore my shorts and t-shirt and sat on the couch waiting for Spencer's phone call.

I watched MTV Greece. It was the only channel I could see since everything was Greek. The only good thing was that MTV Greece had the same shows with ours. They had greek subtitles but that didn't bother me at all.

After four hours and Spencer hadn't called me. I tried not to worry because she didn't have a specific time when she was calling me. So I sat there trying to watch something on tv but my mind was drifting back to Spencer. 10pm and still nothing. I called Arthur to see if she contacted them but he told me that she didn't. Maybe they were still out. Maybe she would call me later. I tried not to think more into this because I would make myself crazy.

While watching a Greek show the program stopped and it came again the lady from the news. I didn't know what she was saying but they were showing people running, soldiers and people covered in blood. I was cursing myself that I didn't know the language. I was hoping it wasn't what I was thinking. I was hoping that it was somewhere else. Soldiers were everywhere. Not only Iraq. For the first time I tried to call Spencer on her phone. It was dead. Nothing. I tried again. Nothing. I was starting to shake. I called Arthur right away and tried to find out what was happening. His phone was putting me on hold every time. I couldn't take it. I needed to know what the lady was saying. What the fuck was going on. Without thinking I took the keys and left my apartment with what I was wearing, running and not walking to Spencer's parent's house.

I knocked several times till finally they opened the door. Paula had tears in her eyes, Arthur was on the phone and Glen was sitting on the couch quiet, not moving.

Paula let me in without saying anything to me. I wanted to ask. Their tv was on and the lady from the news was still at the screen showing the same pictures I have seen back to my house.

"Paula what is going on?" she couldn't talk to me. She looked at me and more tears came from her eyes. That is when I saw Glen moving from the couch and trying to support his mother from not collapsing. At that moment my heart stopped. I knew it was Spencer. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, I couldn't stand. Last thing I remember was saying Spencer's name.

I don't know how many minutes I was passed out. I remember opening my eyes and hearing someone saying my name.

"Ashley.. Ashley.. come on." I tried to open my eyes and I heard again the same voice "She is waking up. Come on Ashley"

"Wh-at.. whaat happened?"

"You passed out" instantly I remember what happened before I collapse. Spencer..

"Spencer. Oh my God. Mr C I tried to call her but her phone is dead and I saw the news and they were showing something. Did you talk with Spencer? Is she ok? Oh my God" I was starting to feel dizzy. I had to lie on the couch because I was feeling that I would pass out again.

"Ashley, they were breaking news. Earlier today they bombardised Spencer's village" Arthur stopped for a moment to take a big breath. Paula was nowhere to be found. Only Glen. "There are many people dead. They can't say names yet because they don't know."

"Spencer?"

"They only thing we know is what those people were doing there. They said they were some photographers, journalists and doctors dead. Spencer's village was a small community with people from all over the world.. They knew where to bombard. They knew what they were doing"

"What if Spencer is.." I didn't even want to think that Spencer was one of the dead. I wouldn't let my mind think like that. Spencer was alive. Yes. She wasn't even close when that happened. Yes. Spencer was alive. She had to be.

"I don't know Ashley. I don't want to think that my child is.." I thought that this time he would be the one to collapse. He took one big breath and continued "I tried to come in contact with her boss but his phone was busy. I don't know Ashley. I don't know."

"Where is Paula?"

"We had to give her a pill to relax. She was crying and she passed out after you did. She is now in our bedroom"

"Mr C.."

"Spencer is alive. We have to think positive. Spencer has to be alive"

Spencer had to be alive because if she was dead I was dead too.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	28. Chapter 28

**Don't shoot the writer.. Pretty please?**

* * *

**Chapter 28**

**Spencer's POV**

Sadness, pain, tears, death. That was what I was facing every day this last month. You knew about the war from the news, you knew from the newspapers but if you weren't here you couldn't really know. This place is hell on earth. It changes you day by day. You feel it. But you really can't do anything. Every day another village. Every night another bomb. And us photographers running to take the pictures, journalists broadcasting, doctors running to save as much lives as they could. And every night there would be tears. Silent tears because I had to be strong. We had to be strong because of our families.

What kept me in place was that I was listening to her voice every day. It was the only thing that was keeping me sane. On those moments we talked I wasn't here. I was there with her. I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and stay there for ever. I couldn't tell her what was going on here. She wouldn't sleep then. The things I have seen are going to stuck with me for years, maybe forever. But the thing is that when you see death every day you become strong. You become the soldier I saw my first day here. At least my team became like that. I couldn't. When I would see a child alone I would stop and give some water, clean the blood from his or her face. I wasn't a doctor but Mr Sanri taught me some things to protect myself just in case. I always had my backpack with me with some bread, water and clean clothes. The others didn't know. And I wouldn't tell them.

I remember John one day when we were taking pictures in a village close to ours. You could smell the dead bodies. I remember saying something about baring them and that at least they deserved it. No one deserves a death like that. John looked at me and said _'you can't save them all Spencer. Leave it be. This is war'. _But I couldn't. I wouldn't sleep at night if I didn't do what my conscious told me. I would be a photographer but I would be human too. I wouldn't lose my humanity because of the war. They didn't want to know and I wouldn't tell them.

Every day I would call my home, my rock, my love. Every day I would call Ashley. I cut our talks in five minutes because if I didn't I would cry and Ashley would know. I didn't want for her to worry. My parents didn't have to worry. So although I needed her more than five minutes I had to. But inside I knew. She knew me so well as I knew her too. I wasn't the cheerful Spencer she met. I wasn't the 17 year old with so many dreams. I wasn't the 24 year old coming back from her trip to South America. This was a 25 year old Spencer, another Spencer, older than 25. A Spencer I didn't like and hoped that she wouldn't stay for long. Because Ashley was missing my old self and I was missing myself too.

Another day, another week. Another night with gun shots and bombs. You were hoping for a peaceful sleep but you couldn't have what you were asking. Next morning you had to wake up and start a new day. Although the sun and the moon are the same for everyone in the whole world I have to say that here they weren't. The sun wasn't so warm and bright and the moon had the same sadness as all of us.

"Spencer.. Spencer wake up" I was daydreaming again. It happens a lot these days. I found myself doing that when something bad was happening. I was closing myself from everything. I was trying to find my Ashley.

"Hey John, what is going on?"

"Today we are not going anywhere. Today we are staying here. So you can relax if you want" relax. How you could relax here?

"Thank you. Why we are not going anywhere?"

"Ted talked with boss back in Athens and he told us to change our trip. So instead of staying here for two months and then going to Afghanistan we stay here for a month and a half and go to Afghanistan for the rest of the trip. So pretty much we are leaving in two days from here"

We were leaving from here. I should be happy but Afghanistan was the same. Maybe not as much as Iraq but still I think it was better than Iraq.

"That's nice. Did you call your wife?"

"Yeah I did. I can't wait to go back Spencer"

"Me too"

"You should call your family"

"I will thank you John"

I stayed in bed for a couple of minutes and tried to go back. Tried to think of Ashley and me at the beach. Walking hand by hand, smiling and kissing. I really missed her..

When I tried to call them my phone was dead. I didn't know why or how but nothing was working on. I took the battery out, I blew the keys, I charged it. When I tried everything my phone was back to normal. Technology my ass. As I was ready to call Ashley Ted came and told me that we had a meeting for the trip. It didn't matter. I could always call her later.

"Our job here is done. Thank God we are leaving from this shit place. Sorry Spencer"

"Fine by me Ted. I am not a child you know"

"Yeah, but you are a girl. The only girl actually in this team and we should be more careful with our language"

"Ted, this place is a shit hole. So you can call it whatever you want" I saw that they smiled and for the first time I found my smile too. I wish Ashley could hear me..

"So guys and girl, you did a wonderful job here. Your photos are going to be all over the world. This issue of National Geographic will be everywhere. Amazing things are going to happen for all of us. They will know our names"

Was that really the case? People know us because of that issue? Because we took photos of devastated mothers who were crying for their children? Because we took photos of houses destroyed because of bombs? Did I really want for people to know my name because of that?

"Guys, if you excuse me I want to take a walk. Actually we have been here for a month and we haven't seen the place yet"

"Ok, Spencer. Talk to you later"

Our village wasn't that big. It was like a small camp. Greeks, French, Germans, Americans, English, Italians, Arabs. It was the place that everyone that was a journalist, photographer, and doctor would come and stay. Besides us there were Arab families that were staying here too. After all it was their village. We managed to coexist.

When I left our building I walked round the place. It felt strange. I have been there for so long but yet I didn't know anything. In two days we would leave. I couldn't wait to call Ashley and my parents to tell them the good news. Only in thinking of Ashley I smiled again.

While walking I found a family washing their clothes. The kids were around their mother. One of them, the little boy looked at me and smiled. He had the most beautiful dark eyes I ever seen. And although the situation and what was going on that kid smiled at me. Did he really know what was going on?

I checked my watch and it was already evening. I was walking back to our building when everything got black. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't see. Last thing I heard was a loud noise. A bomb.. I was running not to save myself but to help my teammates. The smoke from the bomb was near our building and our building was near the camp with the soldiers.. I couldn't panic. I had to run. I still couldn't hear anything. My ears were buzzing. Smoke everywhere. People running. Soldiers everywhere.

And what I was afraid was true. Our building was in flames. As the next building too. I started screaming but I couldn't hear my voice. John, Ted, Steve, were inside. They were inside while I was here. I tried to go closer but I stopped when I saw someone surrounding with flames running to save himself. I cried. I screamed. Nothing. I still couldn't hear anything. Who was it? John? Ted? Steve? I stopped where I was and I collapsed on my knees. My hands on my face trying to erase everything. But I couldn't. Everyone was running. Soldiers with guns in their hands. That's when I knew I had to do something. I couldn't help my team but I could help someone else. I started running.. Arabs were everywhere. We were inside the war.

I remembered the family I saw. The little boy. They weren't far away from what happened. I don't know what got me but I wanted to go there. I wanted to see if they were ok. Stupid? Maybe I was.

When I reached their house no one was inside. I thought that they left. I was glad that they did. But when I was coming outside then.. It's true what they say. My life played as a movie for me. I saw my young self, my teenage self, me and Ashley, us kissing, us being together. And then everything was black. This time I heard.. And what I heard was bam..

* * *

**TBC**

**Sorry for leaving it that way.. I know you hate me right now..**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**Ashley's POV**

I remember the first time I saw her. She was a child still. A seventeen year old coming here to study. And that day, the day she fell on me, changed me forever. I knew then that she was different from the others. I knew then that I was a goner, looking in those beautiful blue eyes. Those eyes.. They were always hunting me. Even when we were apart, she was always there.

Without Spencer I was lost. Something was missing and I knew it was her. Spencer made me love Greek Mythology and she always told me about how Gods made humans. One body with two souls. And she was my soul.

I loved her with everything that I was. I could never love someone else as much as I loved her. Because she was my one.

When we found each other again, I was skeptical but my heart knew better. Thank God for my heart because if it was for my logic I would still be with Chloy and I would live a lie. Something she didn't deserve.

Spencer and I have been together for four beautiful months when she had to leave. When she had to go to Iraq. I was scared, I was afraid of losing her and at the end my fears came true. I almost lost her..

_We were all sitting there trying to find out what was going on. Arthur was on the phone with Spencer's boss who obviously was out of words. What he could __really say. That night was the worst of my life after my father's death. The agony, the stress. All four of us had something in common. Spencer. The daughter, sister and lover._

_That day we couldn't find anything. Up until the next day we still didn't know. What happened there? Was my Spencer alive? I couldn't stay there waiting for them to tell us that she was dead. I needed to leave. I needed to go to our place. I needed to find her._

_I walked to the beach and stayed there looking at the sea. What an irony. Today the sea had the same color with Spencer's eyes. The sky was cloudy and the water had this grey deep blue color. I felt tears.. I was crying.. She wasn't here to kiss my tears away. She wasn't here to smile at me and say that she loved me. I didn't know what I would do if.. if.. she was dead.._

"_Hello?" I had my cell phone with me. I told the family that I would come here and that I needed some air. _

"_Ashley, its Arthur. We know about Spencer" his voice cracked. I wanted to ask but I was afraid. He gave me though the answer that I wanted and I was hoping "She is not dead but she is.."_

"_Tell me Mr. C. Is she ok?"_

"_She is in critical condition Ashley. They.. They don't know"_

"_I am coming there"_

_Without even thinking but in a robot kind of way I reached the Carlin's home. Paula was crying, Glen was comforting her and Arthur had to be the strong one. But I could see that he wasn't and he couldn't be._

"_Tell me. How is she?" I run to his arms and cried on his shoulder._

"_They were extremists that bombardised her village. Her building got on fire and everyone inside were dead"_

"_Oh my God__"_

"_Spencer wasn't inside. Her teammates though were. All three of them are dead"_

_I couldn't hold my tears. I knew them from what Spencer told me about them. I remember John because he was the closest one to her. And they were all dead._

"_What about Spencer?"_

"_They found her outside a house. She.." he took a big breath and tried to continue. "She is very bad Ashley. Thank God she was outside the house where they found her because now she would be dead."_

"_Mr C. Tell me"_

_He took me outside. I didn't know why but when he stared back to the living room I knew that it was because of Paula. _

"_I didn't say that to my wife because I don't think she could take it"_

"_Please tell me"_

"_She has severe damage in her organs. Because of the explosion she had pieces of steal thrust in her body and.. she is unconscious. They found her under a wall and her head was bleeding. Her right side is burned"_

"_Oh God" I started crying. I thought I didn't have any more tears but I was mistaken. I cried in his arms and he cried in mine too. "I want to go there. I need to be right next to her Mr. C"_

"_We can't. They moved her immediately to the closest hospital but it was bombarised. Today they moved her to Baghdad's General Hospital and that how I know. A doctor that found her contacted her boss and he called me. That's all we know"_

"_I don't care. I want to be there. I am going to book a flight and go next to her. She needs me"_

"_Ashley, believe me. It's not the right thing to do. You know how this place is and how they treat women. I don't want you to get hurt because of your love for Spencer. I booked a flight already. I am leaving this evening. Paula doesn't know the whole thing. She just knows that Spencer is in critical condition. So please don't tell her anything. Ok? Only you and I know" _

"_Please, Mr. Carlin. Please take me with you. I am not going to say that I am her girlfriend. We will say I am her sister or cousin. Please. I have to be there. I can't be here and wait.. I can't wait for one more day. Please"_

"_Ok. Ok. We are going to say that you are her cousin. Ok? The flight is at 4.30pm. Book a ticket and get ready. I am going inside. We have to be strong Ashley. Spencer is a fighter and she has to win this fight"_

"_Yes, she is"_

_I stayed outside and looked again the sky. My Spencer was half alive, half dead. They didn't know if she would make it but I knew my girl. As Arthur said she was a fighter and I was the same. I would fight to bring her back._

_I packed my things in a back pack and followed Arthur at the airport. I didn't know that Spencer's boss would be there waiting for us. This asshole and his fucking magazine. If it wasn't for him Spencer would be here with me and not in a hospital._

"_Mr. Carlin. I don't know what to say. They were protected. We had the soldiers there" I couldn't look at him but I couldn't listen to him saying that he was sorry_

"_Really? You are sorry? How you are sorry exactly? Where you there? Three people died and Spencer is in the hospital." If Arthur didn't hold me back I would jump on him and tear him apart_

"_Who are you anyway? Hold her back"_

"_Hold me back you asshole? Hold me back? For your fucking magazine. For your fucking pictures I might lose Spencer. Pray that Spencer is going to be alive cause if she dies I am going to kill you"_

"_Who are you?" before I answer to him Arthur gave him his answer without even thinking first_

"_Ashley, is Spencer's girlfriend. They are together. Thank you for your help sir but now it's me and Ashley. And consider Spencer out of your magazine if she won't die."_

_I didn't know how he had this calm posture. How he didn't kill him. I would be more than willing to help him._

_All the trip to Baghdad Arthur didn't talk. Every time I would turn my head to look at him he seemed he was thinking. I didn't know how it is for your child to be in a hospital but I knew how it was to lose someone and I wasn't ready to lose Spencer._

_When we finally landed in Baghdad we found a car to take us to the hospital. I was looking outside the window and I realized that I wasn't in Greece, I wasn't in California. Now I understood how Spencer felt when she first came here. Everything was dark. And I believe it was the same in the morning too._

_When we reached the hospital everyone was running. People were covered with blood. People with no legs, no arms. Kids burned in their face. I couldn't look. I took Arthur's hand and hold it tight._

"_Hello. My name is Arthur Carlin. My daughter brought here early this morning"_

"_What's her name?"_

"_Spencer Carlin. Her village was bombardised yesterday"_

"_Yes. I know. Follow me"_

_I was surprised he knew English but I guess I shouldn't be. I was just glad that he could understand us._

_When we reached her room doctors were still inside. I counted ten other people at the same room. I wish I could take her back to the states and find her the best hospital._

_A doctor saw us waiting outside and he came to talk with us_

"_Yes?"_

"_I am Arthur Carlin. I came here for my daughter Spencer Carlin"_

"_Yes. The girl"_

"_How is she?"_

_He looked at me and he was like he was questioning me. Who I was? And why I was here? Arthur realized that and he continued_

"_And she is Ashley Carlin. She is my niece. So please doctor. Tell us about my daughter"_

I couldn't hear anything that the doctor was saying. My eyes were on Spencer. She looked so fragile. Her head was covered with bandages but her hands weren't. I remembered when Arthur told me that she was burned. Her whole right arm was burned. I wanted to be right next to her and hold her. I wanted her to wake up and take me in her arms. I wanted nothing more than to hear her call my name again.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**Ashley's POV**

Days and nights were the same. At least for me. Arthur was a wreck and I was lost. Spencer still unconscious. Every day I was praying for her to open her eyes and look at me, but every day she was laying there still.

They say that when you lose something then you are able to understand what you had and what you lost. I never took Spencer for granted though. No. I never did. And she was still here, so I never lost her. I couldn't kiss her because someone would see me. The only thing I could do was to hold her hand and talk to her. Of course without telling her that I loved her considering the place I was. I wish she could feel it.

We talked with the doctor that found her. He was hurt too but not that much. From what I have seen he seemed like a good person and he liked Spencer. If it wasn't for him Spencer would be dead. I will be grateful to him forever. Not only he helped her but he helped us too. He offered us his home. That meant a lot to me.

Mr Sanri being a doctor could inform us with what was happening with Spencer's condition. She was starting to get good day by day but what they were afraid was the wound she had on her head. That's why she was still unconscious. As the doctors said, she was in a kind of coma and they were waiting for her to wake up.

Her burn on her arm was still there and it was the one of third degree. I didn't care if it will scar. All I cared was for her to look at me and smile at me again. I wanted to kiss her scars and her pain away. She was my baby and I couldn't see her like that.

"Ashley, let's go. It's time for us to go home"

"Home? She is my home Mr. C. If she is not with me I have nowhere to stay" I laid my head on her thigh and started sobbing. It was a good thing that none of the doctors were inside the room.

"Ashley, don't you think that I hurt too? She is my daughter. She is my only daughter and to have your child laying here it's not the best thing. I know how you feel but we can't do anything here. We just need to pray"

"I know. I am sorry. But.. I love her so much"

"And I am sure she knows. Now let's go. Mr Sanri is waiting for us outside. Come on"

Arthur was my rock here and I was mad with myself that I couldn't be a rock for him too. He needed that as much as I needed it.

"Hello Ms Ashley, Mr Carlin. Everything good with Spencer?"

"The same Mr Sanri. We still hope"

"She is a strong girl Mr Carlin. She wasn't the only girl here but sure she was strong. You can't even imagine what she has seen. All of us"

"Thank you"

"I will take you home and then I will go back to the hospital. I will call you if anything changes."

"Thank you very much"

Mr Sanri was a savior. I am glad we had him here and that he knew Spencer. I could trust him.

Every night we were returning back home I couldn't sleep. Usually I would sleep at 4am and then I would wake up at 6am so Mr Sanri could take us to the hospital. Of course there was no policy of visiting hours here. Families were with their loved ones all day long. Some of them were sleeping there too since they had no houses. So once we were back I did what I did every night. Stayed awake and thinking of Spencer and how good we were together. I was thinking of our future if she would wake up.

At 3am I heard Arthur's phone and it scared the hell out of me. No one was calling us except Mr Sanri. I knew it was about Spencer.

"Mr S anri. What's wrong? Is it Spencer? Is she ok? Tell me please" I heard him asking. I got up from my bed and went next to him. "Are you sure? Is she ok? Please Mr Sanri we want to come there. Ok. We will be out in 10 minutes"

When he closed his phone I couldn't not ask him. I was dying over here. What if..

"Spencer?"

"She opened her eyes. She woke up Ashley. She woke up" once I heard those words I hugged him. I hugged him so hard that I am sure he couldn't breathe. I couldn't hold my smile. Spencer woke up. And all I wanted was to be right next to her. Be next to my girl that made me grow old ten years in two weeks.

In ten minutes Mr Sanri came home to take us back to the hospital. I wanted to ask him so many questions but it wasn't my place. It was Arthur's place as her father and the most important I didn't want for someone to know what the true relationship between me and Spencer was. Especially to a place like that.

We didn't walk. We run to her room hoping we would find her awake. Hoping that looking at her eyes I would find myself again. When we did doctors were inside and she was awake. My heart was beating so fast. Like she sensed it, like she could listen to my heart I saw her turning her head to where we were standing and I saw again the smile that I was missing. It wasn't the same but it was still a smile. Her smile.

Doctors were talking with Arthur and I found myself walking to her. Like something was calling me and I am sure it was her. It was always her. I reached her bed and sat right next to her as every day and night. I did nothing but look at her. I wanted to tell her so many things but I was lost of words. That's when I heard her saying my name. It was a whisper but I still could hear her. That's when I felt tears burning my skin.. That's when I heard her voice again..

"Please don't cry. I am ok"

She wasn't ok. She still had those bandages on her head and body. Her arm was still burn but I knew she wanted me to think she was ok. I couldn't kiss her left arm because I didn't want to hurt her. I stood up from where I was sitting and kissed her right hand. It was cold but I wanted to feel her touch. And I cried again. I felt her cupping my face and drying my tears away.

"I missed you Spence"

"I am here. See?"

"Spence, you could die. I thought I would lose you."

"But I am not dead. I am here Ash. I look like a mummy but I am here"

Why she was making a humor about the situation I don't know. How she could humor about her condition was beyond me. But she was always like that. The thing is that I knew her so well. And I knew that deep inside she was scared. She wanted to show me that she was strong and I knew that she would never admit that she was hurting. That was my Spencer.

Before I say anything else Arthur came and kissed her. I saw tears in his eyes. He didn't say anything for some minutes. He just looked at her like I did a few minutes ago.

"I am glad you woke up princess"

"Well I had to. I had a family waiting for me. And it wasn't my time."

"And we are glad that it wasn't. How are you feeling honey?"

"A little dizzy but ok for now."

"That's what doctors told me. Your wounds starting to heal. They were afraid for your head but they are glad you woke up. You need to stay another three days here and then we can take you back home"

"Ok."

"We can take her back Mr C?"

"Yes. So in three days you are out of here and then we are going back home"

"I missed home. And I missed you" she said looking at Arthur and me at the same time. And we missed her

"Oh, and Spencer.. I told your boss you are not coming back to the magazine"

"It's ok dad. I wasn't thinking of coming back either"

We stayed there all day. Spencer couldn't keep her eyes open that much. She would sleep for hours and then stay awake for 15 minutes. I was worried about that but I didn't want to think more into that because then I would make myself crazy and she didn't need that. If doctors said she could leave then that's what matter the most. We could take her to the best hospital in Greece and do tests. For now what I cared was that my Spencer was alive and I could look at those beautiful blue eyes that captured my heard six years ago..

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hey guys.. Tomorrow is Friday, thank God. After working for two weeks, weekend included now i can rest. Or i can rest after returning home from work tomorrow.. Hope you have a beautiful day for those that sun is stills up and for the others in this side of the continent have a good rest of the night. Hope you like the update!**

* * *

**Chapter 31**

**Spencer's POV**

I was awake but not really. I was still living in my nightmare every night I would close my eyes. Every night that my dad and Ashley weren't next to me to hold my hand and talk to me. I was afraid. I was scared. Every night I was looking at myself being killed. Something that didn't happen in real life. Every night I was looking at myself living the hell that I have been through. Seeing my friends burn, seeing our village attacked. Looking at those dark eyes every night that hunted me. And when I was waking up being all sweaty because of those dreams I was looking at my scars. But I really didn't know what hurt the most. The real scars I had on my body or the emotional scars?

I knew that this time I couldn't hold everything inside me. I knew that I had people next to me that I could talk to and they could help me. And for once in my life I had to ask for help.

I had to wait only one more day to leave from this hell and go back home. Go back to my Ashley and our home. To my sanity.

"Spence? Are you ok b?" she couldn't call me baby here. And her calling me 'b' was a whisper. Imagine being in a room full of people that can not understand. I didn't want to wake up one day and find out that they took her from me and they threw rocks on her just because she was with me. Just because she was with a girl.

"I am trying Ash. I just want to go home. That's all"

"We are leaving tomorrow. Your dad has already the tickets. Just a few hours Spence and we will be home" she was always sitting on my left side. The one that wasn't burn. Sometimes I could see her looking at my hand. Before I say anything she would change the subject and hold my left hand.

"I know. I can't wait"

"Spence.."

"Yes?"

"Nah, it's nothing"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's nothing. I wish I could kiss you right now"

"Me too. I missed you"

"You don't know what I have been through Spence. I think I have ten grey hairs now"

"Well.. You are thirty Ash.. You are old" I wanted to laugh so much with her reaction but I couldn't because I was still hurting. But her face was priceless. I wish she could stay here till tomorrow. When she is with me I am not afraid. I know that if she is near she will take the bad dreams away..

"You are very very lucky missy. Very very lucky"

"I know. I have you" at that moment her whole face changed again. She gave me her best smile. The one I missed. She turned her head around to see if anyone was looking at us and she kissed my palm.

"Thank you"

"For what?"

"For being alive, here with me. I don't know what I would do if you were.."

"But I am not. I am not in my best but I am not dead Ash."

"Thank God"

"Well well well.. The one who didn't believe in God.."

"You don't know how much I prayed these days Spence. And I am glad he heard my prays"

Before I answer her back my dad was back to my room. He was talking with the doctors to see how I was.

"Hello my girls"

"Hey daddy"

"Hello Mr. C"

"Princess I have very good news. The doctors said that you can leave today. It seems that everything is ok." If I could get up from the bed that fast I would. The only thing I did was to smile and hold Ashley's hand even tighter. She seemed she was doing the same with me.

"Did you hear b? We can take you home."

"I did. So when I can go?"

"Ashley can you help her get dressed?"

"Of course Mr C."

"I will wait outside with Mr Sanri"

I was happy but at the same time scared. I haven't seen myself naked after what happened. I didn't want to. My hand was enough and yet I didn't look at it that much. But now Ashley would see everything. I was scared that she wouldn't like what she would see.

"What is it Spence?"

"Nothing."

"Let me help you get up"

Every step I was making hurt. But Ashley was there to help me. When we reached the bathroom my heart was beating so fast that I was sure she could hear it. She was holding a bag with some clothes I had inside. It was the first time I was looking myself on the mirror. The bandages were off and now I could see everything. I had stitches on my left side. My eyes were a lit bit swollen and I had bruises on my neck. And then I saw my hand. It was someone else and not me. That's when I realized that Ashley was still behind me. She was ready to say something. That's when I felt her hands around my waist and her head on the crook of my neck.

"You are the most beautiful girl in the whole world." I wanted to say that I wasn't. I wanted to say that I was broken. Instead I smiled and turned my face to look at her.

"Help me dress please?" I lifted my hands as much as I could so she could take off the hospital shirt I was wearing. Underneath I was naked. I didn't think of anything sexual at this moment. And neither Ashley because I could understand how she was touching me. It was tender. I closed my eyes and tried to escape from everything. I didn't understand that I was crying when I felt her lips on my eyes.

"Baby, please.." and her voice cracked.. "I love you with everything that I am. We are going to get through everything together. You and me" and I felt her touching my burned hand. I was afraid of her reaction. "Please.. What I said it was true Spence. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. You are my beautiful girl. Ok?" I just nodded and hugged her. When I was with her everything was vanishing. The pain was gone. "Now can you please let me help you with your clothes?"

She helped me with my shirt and my pants. Before we get out from the bathroom she kissed my lips once again and interlocked our fingers. I looked at her and told her that I loved her. I did. And I would never stop.

We found my father outside waiting for us. Ashley was guiding me with her hand on my waist. When I saw Mr Sanri I smiled. I didn't know that he was the one that found me and brought me here. I owed him my life. He was here when my father and Ashley weren't. If anything I think that I made a good friend and I was glad he was alive.

"Spencer. It's good to see you out from the hospital"

"It's good to be out Mr Sanri"

"It's good to have her back" my dad said lovingly.

"Are you happy that you have your girlfriend back Ashley?" in his question Ashley's hand dropped mine. She was ready to say something when I spoke first

"It's ok. He knows. He knew from the beginning"

"Wha.. How"

"It's ok Ms Ashley. I have no problem with you girls. Remember. I was born here but I was raised in England. And my parents aren't the typical Arabs"

"How you didn't say anything before Mr. Sanri?"

"It wasn't the time Ms Ashley or the place. I am just happy that your father has his daughter back and you have your girl" I wanted to kiss her but it wasn't appropriate with my father and Mr Sanri there. So I just held her hand as I did every day.

When we reached Mr Sanri's place I wanted nothing more than to go and rest. I was still in pain although two weeks in the hospital were already gone. I couldn't eat anything besides soups and to tell you the truth I didn't want to. I wasn't feeling hungry. But Ashley insisted. As she said I needed to eat because I lost a lot of weight and I needed to regain my strength. And when she was looking at me with those eyes I couldn't say no.

"I will make Spencer a soup. I will be back in a few minutes"

I stayed there with my father while Ashley and Mr Sanri were at the kitchen. My father knew me so well. I was his child after all.

"How are you feeling princess?"

"I don't know dad"

"It will need time baby girl but we are here for you. All of us"

"I know. Thank you"

"Ashley was by your side all the time. She really loves you"

"And I love her very much"

"I like her Spence. I know that I said it again and now it's not the right moment but I am sorry that I wasn't there for you when everything happened. I should have said something to your mother."

"It's ok dad. I am here with Ashley now and that's what matters the most" that's when she came from the kitchen with a smile on her face. She liked taking care of me.

"Soup is ready baby."

"Can we go to the room? I feel tired"

"Ok"

"I will say goodnight to you now. Dad what time we are flying tomorrow?"

"At 10am."

"I will be ready earlier. Mr Sanri I will see you tomorrow?"

"Of course you will Spencer. Get some rest"

The house didn't have stairs and I was glad. Once we were at the room Ashley helped me to sit and she sat right next to me with the soup in her hands. I watched her blowing the soup because it was hot. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"What are you looking at beautiful?" she said without taking her eyes away from the plate

"You"

"And that's why..?"

"I love you. Thank you for being here Ash"

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Now open your mouth"

"Mmm.. Much better from the hospital's"

"I cooked it, so of course it tastes good"

I was glad that she looked like herself. The days I was awake at the hospital I could see sadness in her eyes. I was glad I could see her eyes smile again.

"Now that's my girl. You ate all your soup"

"It was good"

"I am glad you liked"

"Ash.."

"Yeah Spence.."

"Will you lay next to me?" I made some space for her to lay on the bed next to me. I couldn't sleep on my right side for obvious reasons. She came behind me and put her hand on my thigh. I knew that she was afraid of touching my hand and I wouldn't make her do something she didn't feel like. I couldn't look at my hand how Ashley could touch it..

"I know what you are thinking Spence. I could always hear what you were thinking. I love you. I would love you even if you had one eye. I need you to trust me"

"But Ash.. How? I can't even look at myself. I am broken. I will have these scars forever. And even if I do plastic surgery they will always be there"

"And I will be right next to you. I am not going anywhere. Ok?"

"But.."

"No buts. You and me. Always and forever. Ok?"

I didn't say anything else. I just nodded. I closed my eyes and I felt her lips on my shoulder. She was kissing my scars. Why I couldn't feel the pain when she was kissing me? She was caressing my arm. Why it didn't feel burned? I closed my eyes and slept in seconds. All I needed was her.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey guys.. Today is my name day although i don't have a name day because my name is not Greek.. but anyway.. Big story! I thought i wouldn't have an update today but i am glad i was mistaken. I don't want to leave my story behind. Hope you had a nice weekend..**

* * *

**Chapter 32**

**Ashley's POV**

When we left that shit place I was hoping that everything would go better. I knew that it wouldn't be easy but I wanted to try and be next to Spencer. All of us we would be next to her. But Spencer was alone. When we came back I was hoping that my love for her would be enough but she was far away from the girl she used to be.

Every night she was waking up screaming. Every night I was there with her trying to hold her but she didn't want me to. I was trying. I was trying so hard. It was hurting me seeing her like that. I couldn't help her if she didn't want me to. I was telling her that I was there but it seemed that I was talking to a wall and not to a person.

I talked with Arthur. He was the only one who could help. He knew about psychology and he knew his daughter. I told him what we were going through. Still even her father couldn't help her. Every day I was hurting more and more seeing my beautiful girl losing herself. And it was hurting me even more that she couldn't let me help.

When I knew she was sleeping I was getting up from the bed and I was going to the bathroom and cry. I was crying about what happened to her. I was crying because I was losing her. I was crying because I couldn't do anything. Like now. Spencer is sleeping and I am inside the bathroom crying again. It's my every night's ritual. Crying till I don't have any more tears to cry..

I haven't heard the door opening but I sensed her there. I wanted to look at her but I couldn't. I was a mess. She came and sat next to me. I wanted to look at her..

"Ash.." still.. I was afraid to look. I was afraid of whom she was becoming. I didn't say anything. I felt her hand on mine.. "I am so so sorry baby. I am scared Ash. I am so scared" it was the first time after a week that she talked to me about being scared. It was the first time after a week that she touched me. That's when I looked at her and she was crying. My heart was aching..

"Please talk to me Spence. I can't see you like this. Not any more."

"Will you please come with me?"

"Where?"

"I have an appointment tomorrow with a psychologist. I need to talk to someone. I need help Ash"

She caught me off guard. I didn't know what to say. After a week of silence and now she was telling me that she wanted a professional help. I was glad that she wanted to talk. I was glad but I hoped she could talk to me

"I know that I cause you pain but you can't understand how I feel Ash. I am lost. And I don't like what I see"

I knew it was because of her scars. She was wearing shirts with long sleeves and her hair was always down with a baseball hat. I tried to tell her, to show her that it didn't bother me. That for me she was still my beautiful girl and I was glad she was alive even if she was burned.

"Spence, baby. Do you think that I am with you only for that? For how you look? You are my angel and you will always be. Please don't do that to us. You are alive and that it's the most important. You are important"

"An angel with no wings. A fallen angel. I am broken and I don't know if I will ever be the same Ash. And I am scared because one day you will be tired of me and you will leave"

"That is what is all about? Me leaving? Look at me" she looked at me and I felt my heart beating so fast. She said she was broken but her eyes were telling me another story. Her eyes were always telling me the truth " I am not going anywhere. I will never leave you. Do you know why? Because I can't be without you. You are my everything Spence and when you think like that you hurt me"

"I am sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry. I want us to be us again. I want you to let me help you as much as I can. Because I love you. I love you so much"

"And I love you" now she was crying. I thought about hugging her but I was afraid of how she would react. All these days that I was trying she would flinch. But I am glad she put her hands around my neck and she hugged me first. At that moment I felt that my Spencer was coming back and I wouldn't let her go away.

"What time is the appointment tomorrow?"

"At 3pm"

"We will go together. Do your parents know?"

"No. They don't. I will talk with them tomorrow if you don't mind"

I stood up and gave her my hand so she could follow me back to our bed. She followed me without saying anything. We laid next to each other and I placed my hand on her arm. This time she didn't flinch. I knew that she wanted to. I could feel her body shake and that's how I knew she was trying hard. I didn't want to make her feel bad so I placed my hand again on her thigh. I kissed her neck and whispered how much I loved her. That's when she took my hand on hers. That night she didn't wake up screaming and I want to think that it was because of our talk.

Next morning I woke up and she wasn't next to me. I felt how cold the bed was feeling without her. I got up, wore my robe and tried to find her. The apartment weren't that big. She was sitting outside in our veranda looking at the sea. Today was a beautiful day. Not that cold and the sun was shining. She was like an angel. My angel

I came from behind her and kissed her head. She didn't flinch. That was a good thing. I sat right next to her.

"Goodmorning baby"

"Morning Ash"

"What time did you get up?"

"Two hours ago"

"Could you please get ready? I want to take you somewhere"

"Ash.. I don't think so.."

"Please Spence. For me."

"Ok"

I knew where to take her. The only place that could calm her. The place she hasn't been yet since the day she left Athens. In half an hour we both were ready. I waited for her to finish dressing and then I put my clothes on. I didn't want to invade her personal space. And I knew that she didn't want me to.

"I am ready"

"Ok. Let's go"

The beach from her house weren't that far away. A 20 minute walk. Without thinking if I should or not I took her hand in mine. She didn't say anything. She just looked our fingers interlocked and we continued walking.

"Why here Ash?"

"Because it's our place. Because it's the only place that you can think. Because the sea always held the best and the worst of us."

She turned her face and looked at me. I was expecting her to leave. I was afraid of her reaction. When I felt her lips on mine I was surprised. At first I didn't know what to do. But after seconds I followed. I kissed her lips tenderly. That kiss tasted differently. It was salty. She was crying..

"Please bear with me. I know I am not the nicest person right now. I know I am hurting you. But please don't leave."

"Baby, I told you yesterday that I am not going anywhere. Wherever you are I want to be. Ok? I am not going anywhere"

"Promise?"

"I promise"

We sat at the beach for an hour just holding hands and looking at the calming waves. Spencer was scared. Not only with everything that happened to her but she was scared about me leaving. I don't know why she was thinking like that but deep inside I knew. She thought that I wouldn't find her attractive any more.. I kissed her palm and tried to take that thought away from her mind..

"You are the most beautiful girl in the world and you are mine. I hope that psychologist is an old man and not attractive. I don't want him to woo you and take you away from me" after a week and I heard that heavenly laugh of hers. I missed that laugh

"Baby.. It's not a he. It's a she and from her voice I don't think she is that old."

"A girl eh? I am definitely coming with you"

We stayed there for some minutes when it was time for us to go back home and take a taxi for the psychologist's office.

"Are you nervous Spence?"

"Not really. I just want all this to be over."

"Ms Carlin. Mrs Parnasos will see you now"

"Thank you. Ash.."

"I will be right here waiting baby"

"Ok"

She took a big breath and got inside. The office was crowed. I guess this lady was famous or something or people had indeed a lot of problems. After an hour Spencer came out and I saw that Mrs Parnasos lady. She was in her late thirty's and she was a very attractive lady. When I saw Spencer I stood up from where I was sitting and met her in the halfway.

"Are you ok baby?"

"Yes Ash. I will tell you everything once we are home. Ok?"

"Yeah, ok"

I was curious what it was said there. I was curious because even with only an hour Spencer seemed different. I am not saying that the lady is a god or something but she probably said something to Spencer because all the way back home Spencer never left my hand.

Once we were home she went inside our bedroom to change. I was waiting for her to come out. I just wish I could be there with her..

When she finished she found me sitting in the living room. She came and sat next to me.

"I will go and see her again"

"Ok"

"She asked me questions and I told her everything in sum up"

"Everything?"

"About Iraq. About what happened there. About what happened to me"

"Do you feel any better?"

"I don't know. I guess. But it's too early. I have to go and see her again."

"If it is what you need baby you should do that"

"I told her about you too"

"What about me?"

"I told her that I have a girlfriend and she is amazing. I told her that I am scared of losing you because of how I look like"

"And what did she tell you?"

"To trust you that you love me and let you help me day by day"

"I am starting to like her."

"You are amazing and thank you"

"For what Spence?"

"For being you. I promise I will get better Ash. For us."

"I am not going anywhere. I will be here"

She kissed my lips and laid her head on my lap. That was definitely something. I hope that she will get better and I will make sure for her to be the angel that she already is.

* * *

**TBC**

**Reviews are always welcome**


	33. Chapter 33

**Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. To my anonymous reviewer that happens to be from my country, se euxaristw polu gia tis euxes sou kai to onoma mou einai Italiko h Vrazilianiko! Kamia sxesi omws apo Italia i Varzilia gia auto kai den exw giorti alla parola auta ithela na exw mia gia na pairnw dwra! Sorry for that.. greeks that you are reading my story i am glad when i have a review from you.. So enjoy the new chapter.. **

**And... Freakanatomy you know what to do..**

* * *

**Chapter 33**

**Spencer's POV**

Three months and counting. Three months and hours of counseling. I was getting better day by day but I wasn't naïve. Something like that doesn't go away that easy. But I had my family there for me and of course Ashley that was my rock. My strength. I wanted to get better for her and for us. As for me.. Well I was getting better but still I couldn't.. I didn't want Ashley to see me naked. I know that I was being ridiculous over that but it was difficult. It was something that I was discussing with my psychologist every time. She was trying to tell me that what mattered weren't the looks but what I had inside.

One day Mrs Parnasos asked me to bring Ashley with me. She wanted to talk with her. I didn't find it strange because I was talking about her a lot. And Ashley was a part of me. So we both had to heal. I tried to be in Ashley's place a lot of times. I was happy that she was here with me. Not leaving as I was afraid to.

"Spence, are you ready baby? We are going to be late"

"I am putting on my clothes Ash" she was in the bathroom and I was in our bedroom. Whenever I was going to change she was giving me the space I needed. I couldn't ask for a better partner than Ashley. I wish for the day that I can be open to her again. Be able to give her myself the way she deserves.

Once we both finished getting ready we headed to Mrs Parnasos office. Ashley didn't have a problem talking to her. Actually when I told her that she asked for her she said ok right away. It was a Wednesday evening and the office wasn't that crowded as every other time.

"Hello Ms Carlin. I will tell Mrs Parnasos that you are here"

"Thank you" we sat to the comfy leather chairs and waited for Mrs Parnasos. In five minutes she was out greeting us..

"Spencer, how are you?"

"I am fine doctor"

"And this is Ashley I assume?"

"Yes, that would be me. Nice to meet you"

"Nice to meet you too Ashley. Spencer.. Will you follow us inside?" I didn't expect her to ask for both of us. Why I was needed there? I thought she wanted to talk only with Ashley.

"I guess"

She showed us the two seats infront of her desk. I was curious why..

"Spencer you are wondering why you are here"

"Well it crossed my mind"

"Well, I think that you need to hear what Ashley has to say. You are not alone in this. You have a partner that is willing to help you but you are not listening to her"

What she said was true. It's not that I didn't want listen. I was scared of what Ashley was telling me. I knew she loved me but deep inside I thought she was just saying all of this just for me to feel better. I know I am stupid. And that's why I was here. Because Ashley loved me unconditionally and I hated myself for having all these negative feelings.

"So Ashley. From what Spencer told me you are not from Greece. You are American?"

"Yes, I was born and raised in California"

"How it feels to be in a foreign country away from your home?"

"Well.. I didn't have something to hold me there. I only have my sister and my students"

"Students?"

"I am a music teacher"

"That's wonderful. And what about your sister?"

"My sister is working and has her life"

"But you are not sad that you left her back in the states?"

"I am but Spencer was here and I just couldn't be there without her"

"I see. How long you've been together?"

"We know each other for seven years. Been together for two, separated for four and being together for almost a year"

I was listening to them talking and all I could think was Ashley. I was listening to her answering the doctor's questions and I was envying her how easy her answers were. What made my heart beat fast was when I heard her question about me and the whole situation..

"How you think Spencer is doing these last couple of months?"

"She is getting better but I think she has a long way ahead of her"

"Is there anything that you would like to say to Spencer but you can't?" Ashley didn't say anything right away. She looked at me like she was saying sorry with her eyes. All I did was to look at her.. "Ashley?"

"I think she doesn't trust me enough. I tried several times to show her differently but I still feel that she doesn't trust me"

"Why is that Spencer?"

"I don't know. It's not about trusting her"

"So why Ashley is feeling like you don't?"

"I don't why"

"Ashley?"

"She still feels ashamed of how she looks. She thinks that I am finding her not attractive. She still doesn't let me to see her naked and touch her" my cheeks were red from embarrassment. But Ashley was right. She was right and it was hurting me how right she was

"Why is that Spencer?"

"I.. I.."

"Is it because you don't feel yourself attractive enough? Is it because of your scars?"

"I.. yes" there was need to say otherwise. After what happened I couldn't look myself on the mirror. How I could let Ashley see me?

"Spencer? Did Ashley make anything to feel you uncomfortable with your body?"

"No"

"She looks like you repel her?"

"No"

"How is she with you?" I looked at her and her eyes were down. She wasn't looking at me. I knew that I was being selfish and I was hurting her so much.. Ashley was nothing but a sweetheart and someone I really needed.

"She is perfect. She looks at me like I am the prettiest girl in the world. She gives me all the space I need. She is just perfect" I looked at her one more time and I saw tears in her eyes. I touched he hand and she looked at me..

"Do you love her Spencer?"

"I do. I love her very much"

"Ashley?"

"I do. She is my world"

"Spencer I know that what you have been through is not easy. You have seen things that none of us see every day. You hurt yourself but you are here. You are here alive, living each day, you have your parents and you have a wonderful person to love you. I am not saying to forget what happened. What I am saying is that you have to start trusting yourself again. People will always see what you see in yourself. If you see pity they will see it too. If you see your scars they will see that too. You will not heal if you won't let yourself heal."

I thought what doctor said. I wanted to and I was willing to try. It helped me so much listening to what Ashley was saying. I wasn't listening to her all this time. Or I chose not to. I was glad that the doctor asked for her.

"Spencer, I will see you next week. Ashley it was a pleasure meeting you. Spencer needs you"

"Thank you doctor"

"I will see you next week Mrs Parnasos"

When we left the building Ashley still wasn't talking and her silence was scaring me. I didn't want to start a conversation inside the taxi so I was waiting till we were home. I may not have said anything but I was holding her hand all the way there. Once we were home it was time for us to talk..

"Ash..?"

"Yes Spence?"

"Can we talk please?"

"Can I change first? I promise we will talk"

"Ok. I will be here"

In ten minutes Ashley was back to the living room. She came and sat right next to me..

"Why you didn't tell me anything baby?"

"Spence.. Even if I did you wouldn't believe me and I really didn't want to make you feel bad"

"I am sorry. It seems that I am saying sorry more than I am saying I love you"

"Spence, I love you. You know how much. It's not about me wanting sex from you. I just wanted for you to trust my feelings for you. I just wanted for you to believe me when I am saying that I thank God every day that I have you here even if you have scars. I don't care. I am just happy that you are alive" now she was crying and I couldn't hold my tears any more. Instead of me hugging her I felt her hands wiping my tears away.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry"

"No more sorrys. Ok?"

No more sorrys. I didn't want to be sorry any more. I just wanted to be myself again and be a girlfriend to Ashley. I stood up from where I was sitting. I knew that in order for me to overcome my fear I just needed to face my fear and I just needed to show Ashley I was trusting her with all my heart..

"I am going to change"

"Ok"

While I was walking to our bedroom I looked back and saw her looking outside the window..

"Ash?" she turned and looked me back.. "Are you coming with me?"

"Eh?"

"In the bedroom. Are you coming with me?"

"Spence.."

"It's ok. Please. I want you there"

She stood up from our couch and walked to where I was standing. I took her hand and guided us inside the bedroom. I took my pj's out from the drawer and I took off the shirt I was wearing. At that time I had my back on Ashley and when I turned she didn't look at me. Besides everything that was said today she still didn't want to invade my space and I loved her for that.

"Ash.. Will you help me with my shirt?"

She stood up from the bed without saying anything and I felt her helping me to wear my top. I was scared to death but they say that for you to overcome the fear you have to face it. My fear was to be naked in front of her and when I felt her touching my burned skin I realized that I didn't have anything to fear. It was my Ashley after all..


	34. Chapter 34

**While writing i was listening to the Twilight New Moon soundtrack! I love that soundtrack!**

**Freakanatomy sorry for not updating sooner but here i am with the new chapter..**

**Have a nice weekend guys!**

* * *

**Chapter 34**

**Spencer's POV**

Healing.. A simple word but yet it says so much. Is it possible to heal completely? Is it possible to be the same person you used to be? I think yes. If you want that really bad then yes it is possible. If you have people around you to help you and love you, then yes, it is possible to heal. All you need is to believe in yourself and let the others help. That's what I did. And I owe everything to Ashley and my family.

A year of countless sessions, a year with my mood changing all the time, a year with Ashley next to me holding my hand. Ashley never left me. She stayed here with me. Never left my side as she promised to. It was difficult not only for me but for her also. I understood that. But she was amazing.

Now I was able to let her touch me, to see me. In her eyes I could see that she wasn't lying when she was telling me she loved me for who I was and not how I looked like. It was like I didn't have the scars. And up until now that's how she makes me feel.

One time that I was depressed I wanted to do plastic surgery. I didn't like myself. It was still the beginning of my healing. Ashley insisted that I didn't have to. That I was perfect as I was. Special. But I didn't want to listen to her. I wasn't listening to anyone. She accompanied me to the doctor's office where I found out that they couldn't do anything. My skin was very sensitive and even if I had the plastic surgery it wouldn't change anything and maybe I could be worse. I remember that day. I was so pissed with me; I was so pissed with what happened. I left the building without waiting for Ashley. I would have my arm burned forever. And that I didn't like. I still hear her screaming my name..

"_Spence__ wait.. Spence.." I didn't turn back. I didn't want to. "Spencer, can you please stop?"_

"_What? What is it that you want Ashley? Eh?"_

"_Why you are doing this? Why you are being like that?"_

"_Really? You ask me why I am like that? Haven't you heard what the doctor said?"_

"_I was there. Yes I heard him. So what?"_

"_So what?" at that moment I laughed but it was a sarcastic laugh. "You are not me. You don't look like me. You are not burned"_

"_Stop. Just fucking stop with this shit. That's enough" I stopped because I never heard her like that. All this time she was nothing but supportive and caring. Listening to her screaming to me was something new to me. "You are an ungrateful little child.. You are ungrateful because you are alive and you still whining about how you look like. Really? You should thank God that you are here and talking with me, walking, being able to breathe. And do you know what you do? You are complaining. I never have been in your position. I don't know what you are going through and how you feel but you have a family that loves you, you have me that I love you. And instead you are closing to yourself. I told you million times that I just don't fucking care. What is it that you don't understand?"_

_I was looking at her. I couldn't do anything but look. She was so right. Ashley was always right. I was still in the beginning of my healing process and I had my ups and downs but that moment Ashley made me realize that I needed to stop. I needed to start believing to myself again. To be me.._

"_I am sorry"_

"_Stop asking sorry. If you don't let this go you won't get better. Do you understand that? We don't care how you look. When are you going to realize that?"_

That moment I realized that if I would continue like that I would lose not only myself but Ashley as well.. And when that thought crossed my mind I panicked. I didn't want to lose her again. And this time I needed to get better. And I did.. Thanks to her..

After eight months of therapy I was starting to feel like my old self again. At that time I couldn't see my scars. They were there but they were like a tattoo if you know what I mean. It's like when you do a tattoo, everyone sees it the first months, you see it the first months but after a while it's like a part of your body. No one sees it.

I remember one day when I came home from the therapist. It was close to spring so the day was longer and the weather was beautiful. When I opened the door I was greeted not by Ashley's kisses but it was little puppy that run to my feet and barked. I took him in my arms. It was a Labrador. And when they are puppies they are perfect. They look like those stuffed animals.. So cute.. I looked for Ashley but she was nowhere. I found a little note on the fridge saying _'meet me in our place. And bring our puppy with you :)' _. I knew what that place was and I was already walking there to find her. When I did she was sitting on the beach looking at the sea. She was like a serene.

"_Hey"_

"_Hello to you too beautiful. I see you found your present" she said and kissed my lips.._

"_My present?"_

"_I haven't forgotten that you told me you wanted a puppy"_

"_Why now?"_

"_Because now it was the right time. And I think he likes you"_

"_He is so cute"_

"_Did you give him a name?"_

"_Nope"_

"_Have you thought about anything?"_

"_Hmm.. I don't know.. What about Kronos?"_

"_Kronos baby?"_

"_Nah, you are right. He is too cute for a name like that"_

"_What about stud?"_

"_Stud Ash? Really?"_

"_Hey, you wanted to call him Kronos"_

"_What about Plato?"_

"_I kind of like. So plato eh?"_

"_Plato it is.."_

"_Come here Plato" we had a puppy together and I liked it very much. We had a puppy and we were living together. Perfect.._

"_I love you Ash. Very much"_

"_And I love you. With all my heart."_

"_Thank you. For everything"_

"_No need for thanking me. You are my girl and my job is to protect you and be there for you"_

"_That's why I love you so much. Because of who you are"_

Yes. I was doing better because of her. I was doing better because of her love. I don't know where I would be without her. I am here, a year after everything looking at myself on the mirror and I see the same girl again. The girl I used to be before everything happens. We are going out tonight. It's our two year anniversary.. I am curious were she is taking me.. She said not to dress too fancy but yet not too sporty either.. So I am wearing my high waist black pencil skirt with high heel peep toes, a white shirt tucked in and I am waiting for my beautiful girlfriend to finish her make up so we can go..

"Ash, are you ready baby?"

"Yeap, I will be there in one minute Spence"

When she got out from the bathroom my mouth fell on the floor. She was astonishing.. She had her hair in a messy bun half up, half down.. She was wearing an amazing red dress that was tight to the right places.. In one word, perfect..

"You look amazing Spence"

"I can say the same for you too baby"

"Are your ready?"

"Yes"

"Happy anniversary baby" she said and kissed my lips.. Did I tell you that not only she looked amazing but she tasted amazing too?

I knew that if I would ask her she wouldn't tell me where we were going. So I just enjoyed the ride with her hand in mine.. After half an hour I saw that we were outside in one of the most expensive hotels in Greece that are near the sea.. Lagonisi Grand Resort.. I was amazed once again..

"Ash? What.."

"Ssshh.. Just follow me please. Ok?"

And I did that.. I followed her inside the hotel where she talked with a guy. A moment after another guy came and he took us to another part of the hotel that I would say it was more private. The guy said 'welcome to the Dream Suite'.. When we got inside I found myself being amazed again. It was our private villa..

"You like baby?"

"Ash, this is amazing.. I love it" I said and took her in my arms..

"There is dinner waiting for us. Come with me"

Indeed there was a battler waiting to serve us. I thought that I was playing in a movie.

"Hello ladies. My name is Niko and I will be you battler for the night. Let me help you.."

"Thank you Niko"

"Would you like to start with the first dish?"

"Spence?"

"Yes, of course. Thank you"

Everything was perfect. She was perfect. Before we start eating Ashley called Niko and told something in his ear. I was curious once again. I wanted to ask what she told him but I took my answer five minutes later when the glass ceiling revealed the clear night sky.. We were eating under the stars..

"Bon appetite ladies.. Call me if you need anything else" and with that we left all alone to enjoy each other..

"Did I tell you how beautiful you are tonight baby?"

"No, I think you didn't" I said while teasing her.. I felt her hands in mine, she looked at me and told me how much she loved me.. And I did the same.. "Ash, this is amazing but you shouldn't baby. It's way too expensive"

"Nothing for you is expensive. If I could I would give you the world"

"Well you are my world.."

"And you are mine.. Spence.. I love you very much. I think I loved you the fist time I saw you in that supermarket eight years ago. I did everything to push you away but yet you were coming back. Fates wanted us to be together and I can't thank them enough for bringing you to me. I want to be with you for better and for worst. I want to be able to tell everyone that this amazing girl is mine. So baby, will you give me the honour to be my wife? Will you marry me Spence?"


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

**Ashley's POV**

Marriage! Never thought of marring someone as I never thought of being in a relationship. When I met Spencer my whole world came upside down.. In such a good way..

I was thinking of asking her to marry me for a long time now. Have I been nervous? Oh yes. Nervous as hell. But with everything that was going on and with her trying to get better I couldn't find the right time. But I always had with me the ring that I would give her the day I would propose. And that day was our two year anniversary..

She was getting better day after day and I was so happy to see her smile again. I was so happy that she was able to trust me and let me love her the way she deserved. So the right time would be that special day for us and I was hoping for an answer that would send me to heaven.

Spencer and I discussed our future. We said that we could see ourselves being old, holding hands and watching the sunset. We said about kids one day but never said anything about marriage. I knew she loved me. I knew she wanted to be with me but I never mentioned the marriage thing. And neither did she..

I was preparing her surprise for a week. We would stay to one of the best hotels in Greece for a weekend, next to the sea that she so loved. We would have our own suite and on our day we would eat under the stars. A perfect romantic night and hopefully a perfect romantic weekend with my fiancée. She almost caught me one day while I was on the phone with the hotel manager. I saved it saying that I was talking on the phone with Kyla. When she wanted to say hi to her I paused. But as clever as I am I told her that I lost connection. Lame I know..

Friday. The day was here. I woke up early and made breakfast for us in bed. I had a red rose next to her pancakes and a note that said how much I loved her. When I went back to our room she was still sleeping. She looked like an angel. I came right next to her and kissed her forehead trying not to scare her..

"Baby.. Wake up sleeping beauty" I said while giving her a kiss..

"Mmmm.. I like when you wake me like that.." she turned and opened her beautiful blue eyes..

"Happy two year anniversary baby.. I made you breakfast"

"Happy two year anniversary too Ash.. And you shouldn't.." she sat better and took a bite of the pancakes I made for her.. "Mmmm.. they test so good.." I started kissing her neck. Letting my tongue trace her smooth skin. She tasted amazing..

"And you my dear taste so good.."

"Mmmm.. Ash.. I have the dish still on my lap.." that had to go away. I wanted to start our day with me making love to her..

In less than five seconds I had her lying underneath me. She was wearing my favorite pj's of hers. A hello kitty short shorts with a t-shirt of Victoria Secret's that I bought for her when we were back in the states. Of course she was sleeping naked under the offensive clothes that I liked but yet I would like even better if she was completely naked.

I from the other hand was wearing my robe, nothing underneath because I liked sleeping the way I was born. I was on top of her letting my hands travel all over her body. Touching her thighs, her abs. I liked the way she felt. I liked how she was moving when I was touching her. And oh my God, I liked how she moaned..

"You are so beautiful Spence.. You are so sexy and you are mine" I said while I was kissing her neck. My hands now under her shirt touching her breasts. So beautiful..

"Mmm.. Ash.. I am yours baby.. All yours.."

I was straddling her. My robe wide open. Now she could see me. Now I could see how she was looking at me. Her eyes had the color of lust. They were the deep blue I loved.. I felt her hands on me. I felt her fingernails tracing my body.. How good she made me feel..

I lifted her body so I could take off her shirt. I wanted to see her.. I wanted to feel her.. To taste her.. I started caressing her arm. The one that was burned. The one she was afraid to let me touch not so long ago.. And she didn't flinch. I kissed her shoulder.. I didn't care.. For me she was the same Spencer I loved.. The girl of my dreams..

I felt her hands untying my belt.. I was naked in front of her. I had my eyes closed.. How she was touching me.. I could feel her.. It is true.. When you lose one of your senses the other becoming brighter. I could smell her vanilla body lotion. I could feel her touching my tone abs. I could hear her whispering 'I love you'. She was my everything..

"I want you so bad Spence.."

"I am here.."

I stood up and removed her shorts.. Oh my God.. I could smell her arousal and that was making me instantly wet.. I wanted to let my lips feel her hot center. I wanted our bodies to become one..

I kissed her thigh first.. Giving her one or two love bites here and there.. Letting my tongue trace her bikini line.. Letting my lips touch her hard clit.

"Stop teasing my Ash.. I want you inside me baby.."

How I could let my love wait? How I could not be inside her the way she wanted me too?

I made love to her.. I made love to her like it was our first time together. It was sensual, loving, tender.. It was everything in only one move. Me being inside her, her being inside me.. We fit so perfect.. We came on each others hands while we were whispering words of love in each others lips..

"I love you so much Spence"

"And I love you baby.. Happy anniversary"

"Happy anniversary"

Of course I made her come more than one time. Our morning wouldn't stop there. Actually I was making love to her all morning long.. We slept for three hours and we woke up when it was time for my surprise. We had to get ready and continue our day..

When she was ready I couldn't take my eyes off her.. She was amazing. She was wearing a high waist black pencil skirt with high heel peep toes, with a white shirt tucked in. Classy and elegant.. I from the other hand I was wearing a very tight red dress and I could see how she was looking at me. She wanted to ravish my body and if it wasn't for me to propose today I would so let her..

When we arrived at the hotel I could see her face. She was surprised and amazed. When we were inside our suite I think that she was lost of words. The suite was beautiful. The one I wanted for us. And we had a personal battler. How cool was that? We sat down and started eating. Everything was perfect and I was so happy that I could see her smile.. I am glad we left everything bad in the past and we could be us again..

"Did I tell you how beautiful you are tonight baby?"

"No, I think you didn't. Ash, this is amazing but you shouldn't baby. It's way too expensive" "

"Nothing for you is expensive. If I could I would give you the world" and I would. She deserved everything..

"Well you are my world.." I knew that this was my time.. I opened my bag and took the little velvet box out.. It was now or never..

"And you are mine.. Spence.. I love you very much. I think I loved you the fist time I saw you in that supermarket eight years ago. I did everything to push you away but yet you were coming back. Fates wanted us to be together and I can't thank them enough for bringing you to me. I want to be with you for better and for worst. I want to be able to tell everyone that this amazing girl is mine. So baby, will you give me the honour to be my wife? Will you marry me Spence?"

She didn't look at me.. Instead she had her head down. My heart was beating so fast.. What if she said no? Before I think more I was glad I haven't took my eyes off her because I saw her giving me her best smile and just saying the words I was hoping for.. She said..

"Yes.. Yes.. I would love to marry you Ash.. Yes.. Yes.."

I stood up from where I was sitting and laid right next to her.. I kissed her and put the ring on her finger.. It looked so good on her..

"You made me the happiest woman on earth Spence.. The happiest.." we both cried. If you asked me eight years ago how I was thinking my life would be I would just say 'I don't know'. My life was to party hard, sleeping around, drinking. Not wanting to have a future. But if you ask me now what is it that I want I will just say that all I wanted, all I was hoping is right here with me..

* * *

**TBC**

**I haven't thanked you enough for reading, reviewing and loving this story.. Of course its not finished yet.. I think that i will write two more chapters and that's it.. I'm glad i wrote this story and i had all of you following me..**

**PS.. I so don't like the authors that ask for reviews just for them to continue writing..  
**


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

**Spencer's POV  
**

How time flies so fast? When was that you were young and care free and now you see yourself in those old pictures and say that it seems like yesterday? Well.. if you are married to the one person you love, you have an amazing married life and everything is perfect just because your partner makes it perfect, then yes.. Times flies so fast..

My wedding day was a dream come true. I never thought of marriage before. Not because I was gay. But before I met Ashley marriage wasn't my thing. I wasn't like the other girls that they were planning their wedding day. The perfect decoration, the perfect dress, the perfect man. No. I wasn't like that. Meeting Ashley changed my whole point of view. I fell in love with a girl, I was in a relationship with a girl and I was hoping for a future with her. Thinking about marriage? Never was the issue.

We discussed about our future, beautiful things we wanted to happen. But never getting married. When she proposed to me that day I thought my heart would break. When I heard those words I wanted nothing more than to scream YES. I wasn't even considering saying no or maybe because being with Ashley united like that was everything that I wanted. And when I said yes we both cried. We cried because both of us came a long way. With everything that happened between us we were still here, with each other, and that was the most important.

That night we made love to each other like there was no tomorrow. We slept in each other's arms and kissed. Perfect. It was an amazing weekend that me and my wife are still doing till now. Yes, every weekend we go away just the three of us. I said three of us? Well, yes. Our lives became complete when our son came into life. But I guess before that I have to tell you what happened before all that. I guess everything starts the day I said 'I do'

We didn't stay engaged for long. I didn't think there was a reason to. When you know what you want is easy. We wanted each other so stay engaged for a year it wasn't important. I always believed that being engaged with someone was only for you to see if you can live with your partner. Well me and Ashley were already living together so there was no need to be engaged. We needed though to find the place and tell our families.

We couldn't get married in Greece. There was no law here that was accepting two females or males to get married. So we thought that it would be the best for us to go back to the states. And I wasn't thinking of staying in Greece. I loved my country but my future was there. Ashley's and mine's future was there.

The weekend we came back home I called my parents and told them that we wanted to see them. At the beginning they thought that it was something bad but I reassured them that it was something really good. Ashley was kind of anxious because she didn't ask my hand from my father. What I told her was that we weren't an ordinary couple so there was no need for her to feel like that. But being her she wanted to be traditional and her asking my hand from my father meant that she respected him. She was so cute..

When we told my parents at first they didn't say anything. They were amazed, surprised if you want to say. My father stood up first giving me a big hug and kissing me. He loved Ashley so me being married with her was nothing but perfect. From the other part I had my mom. Still kind of uneasy me being with Ashley but she kissed us and said she was happy. I guess seeing Ashley being with me, loving me unconditionally after everything that happened I guess this was her way to say that she was ok with us. They understood that we couldn't get married here. They wanted to come with us back in the states to help us with everything.

I was happy. I don't remember being this happy before. It's not that my life was difficult because it wasn't. I was a very happy child, but this happiness was different. It was me feeling complete. And everyone could see that on my face. I wasn't hiding it.

It was June. My favorite month. The month I was celebrating my birthday and of course that meant that summer was here. Perfect. We decided that it would be nice if we would get marry on October. It was Ashley's favorite season and it wasn't that far. So we booked our tickets and in three weeks we were back in the states. Family included.

Kyla didn't know anything. We wanted to surprise her, although I knew that she wouldn't like that we kept something that important from her. But a surprise is a surprise don't you think?

My parents would stay at Ashley's old apartment and Kyla would stay with us at the beach house. She didn't know that either.. I still remember her screaming from happiness that her sister would get marry, screaming because we didn't say anything sooner and yelling because she didn't want to leave her bedroom. I still believe that her reasons were only because of her boyfriend at that time and husband today. Yes, our Kyla is married too. And I am very happy for her and the beautiful family she has.

We had exactly two and a half months to arrange everything for the wedding. I wanted something simple and it was good that Ashley wanted the same. We didn't discuss what we would wear. At least we could have one tradition. But between you and me, all this tradition thing is just lame. They didn't let me sleep with her; they told me I wasn't allowed to see her and all this stuff. Laaaame.. But the urge to see her was amazing. It made me hornier and I wanted nothing more than to make love to her all night as a newly married couple.

Our wedding was a beach wedding. We both loved the sea and we thought that this place held everything of us.. Here we would make a new start.. My mother with Kyla arranged everything. Sammy and Greg with their little girl were there too and I was happy that I could see my very good friends again. Although they weren't in Greece when I was in that kind of awful state Ashley was talking with them and informing them how I was. When I was feeling good I was talking with them too. They were the bestest friends I had.

I wasn't nervous at all. I knew what that day meant. And I was ready to marry Ashley for ever. I was wearing a simple but yet elegant white dress that didn't remind me of a wedding dress and that was what I liked. I had my hair down in curls and little flowers all over my head. My father was next to me ready to give me to Ashley. Perfect.

When it was my time as a bride to walk and find my bride my heart was beating so fast. Not because I was afraid but because when I saw her waiting there, looking at me with those beautiful brown eyes, she just made me think that this is what they call happiness. Love was in the air.

It was a wedding with only the most important people in our lives. Some good friends of Ashley, Sammy and Greg with their daughter, Kyla with her boyfriend, and my family. While the priest was talking I remember looking at those brown eyes that captured my heart eight years ago. While the priest was talking I was looking at her telling her with my eyes how much I loved her.

"_You Spencer Carlin, are you taking Ashley Davies to be your wife for better and for worst?"_

"_Yes, I do"_

"_And you Ashley Davies, are you taking Spencer Carlin to be your wife for better and for worst?"_

"_Of course I do"_

Two simple phrases that meant so much. It meant everything because from that day till today she makes me the happiest woman on earth. And I am happy to be called Mrs Spencer Carlin Davies.

"Hey baby, what are you doing with this picture again?" it was our wedding picture. Us kissing, standing in the beach, with the waves behind us. It was one of my favorites..

"Just remembering. I love you"

"After so many years you still love me?"

"What? It's been only thirteen years Ash.. And I am still very much in love with you Mrs Davies" I said kissing her lips that I haven't all day.. She tasted amazing.. After all these years she looked amazing. A hot, 37 year old wife and mom"

"And I am very much in love with you Mrs Davies. Now are you ready so we can go and pick up our son from his school?"

"Yes"

That's my life.. Me being married to a wonderful woman that makes me feel that I am her world every day..

* * *

**TBC**

**Next chapter will be the last.. And i will post again tomorrow.. Hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as i did enjoy writing it.. Thank you again for all your lovely reviews!**


	37. Chapter 37

**This is it guys! Last chapter! Thank you all again.. It was a beautiful journey and whenever one of my stories ends i feel sad.. Thank you for reading and for leaving me your wonderful reviews. I think that most of the times i answered to all of you. To Irish3girl happy late birthday. I am glad you liked the chapter..**

* * *

**Chapter 37**

Sophocles, one of the greatest philosophers of Greece, said _"__One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love."_

Going back in time I am thinking how my life would be if I haven't met Ashley, how our life would be if she didn't take me back and forgive me. I am glad she gave me and us a second chance to be together and in love till today. I consider myself lucky that I have her for so many reasons. She married me, she taught me how to love and the most important she gave me a son.

Being with someone and especially with a girl of course has it's up and downs and for sure we had fights but after every fight we had amazing sex.. So hot.. I remember after we got married we wanted to start our family. We wanted a little time for ourselves first as a married couple and then we would start asking about how we could have a child.

I was 28 and Ashley 34 when we found out that I couldn't be pregnant. My whole world crushed that day because I wanted to be the one to carry our child. Thank God I had Ashley next to me. Although she loved children she never thought of having one of her own and I knew that from the first day I met her. I was surprised when she told me that she would carry our child and that we would be a family as we dreamed about. After two weeks we were back to the same hospital for Ashley to get inseminated. We chose the donor to have the same characteristics with mine. Blond with blue eyes so our child could have something from me too. But I would be glad if our child was healthy and looked as my Ashley. I didn't care if he or she looked like me.

When Ashley found out that she was pregnant she surprised me with a phone call. She didn't say anything at first she just cried over the phone. I remember being with my grandfather out for a coffee. When I heard her crying I didn't think. I told my grandfather to take me home. I was afraid that someone was dead or something. When I opened the door Ashley was immediately there to hug me and kiss me.

"_Ash, what is it baby? Why are__ you crying?"_

"_I.. I.. Spence we are pregnant"_

"_We.. are.. we are pregnant?"_

"_Yes"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Yes baby. The test was pink. We are pregnant"_

I had happy moments with Ashley but that day was one of the best. To hear that your wife is carrying your child is out of this world. That in nine months you are going to be a mom to a little boy or girl. A baby that will be Ashley's and mine. Ours.

I was there to live every moment of Ashley's pregnancy and quirks. She had a lot. Actually the time she was pregnant she was a different Ashley. At first I was the one to be the clean freak. When I was leaving something in the living room or if I didn't put out my clothes she would start yelling. But don't tell her, most of the times I did it on purpose because she was so cute.. When she was four months old she had that tendency to ask for crazy stuff in the middle of the night. One night she wanted watermelon. And it wasn't summer. How on earth I could find a watermelon in 1am? Yeah.. Try telling her that..

She started showing when she was six month old. Ashley was a freak with her body. Her mood changed every hour. She would cry over a commercial. She would get angry over the news, she would think that I don't like her because now she was fat and all these wonderful things a pregnant woman has. And the most amazing one.. She was extremely horny. And I mean extremely.. She was before but now it was like that energiser bunny. For a woman of her age and condition she had a lot of stamina.

Up until the day she got into the hospital we didn't want to know what our baby's gender was. All we wanted was for him or her to be healthy and nothing else. I was there with her, inside that cold room with the nurses and the doctor. It's a good thing I couldn't get pregnant because after what I saw that day I don't think I could give birth. Ashley still tells everyone that while she was giving birth to our little boy the nurse was trying to bring me around. Hey.. It wasn't my fault that I fainted.. Too much blood.. What actually brought me around was the cry of my baby.. When I stood up I saw Ashley holding our baby in her arms.. I remember the doctor saying _"Mother and son are in perfect condition". _I had a little boy.. I was a mom to a little boy..

"_Spence.." Ashley said with that husky voice I loved.. I came closer and kissed my baby's forehead and then I kissed Ashley on her lips. She was beautiful.. "It's a boy"_

"_He is beautiful Ash.. He is beautiful like his mom"_

"_I think he has your nose"_

"_I think he has yours. Ash he is a mini you"__ at that moment he opened his little eyes and they were deep blue. They say that all babies have blue eyes when they are born but I could see the colour. It was a deep blue._

"_Spence.. He has your eyes baby" she said and cried. I think that my wife was very emotional. I remember her always telling me that she wanted our baby to have blue eyes because that's how she fell for me. I took him in my arms and I was afraid of how small he was. I was afraid of breaking him. And Ashley was looking at us like we were her everything. And that's how I was looking at them minutes ago. They were my everything._

Every day after that day was perfect. Nickolas was a very quiet baby. He was waking up only when he was hungry and he would sleep for hours. That took it from his mom. Ashley loved her sleep. That was good for us too because we weren't tired as other mothers were. When we told Sammy she was so jealous. Her daughter Emma, was waking up every hour till she was two months old. She was crying all the time and they couldn't sleep at all. I was so glad that our baby wasn't like that.. That was giving us time for ourselves and time to do other stuff if you know what I mean.

Ashley was a great mom. She was perfect actually. I never thought that someone who didn't want to have children could be such a great mom. She was caring, loving and strict where she had to. She was the bad guy and I was the good one. I couldn't say no to my baby. When he was looking me with those blue eyes I just couldn't. Whenever he was asking me for something my answer was immediately yes. It was a good thing that Ashley was there most of the times to say no. It was like she knew.. Mother instinct I suppose.

His first day at school I didn't want to let him go. I was pouting like a little girl. We had him at day care till he was three but when the time came for him to go to the elementary my heart was breaking. He was so beautiful. He had long brown curls like my Ashley's. I still remember when he turned his little cute face to look at us. He gave us a smile and waved. I was crying. My baby was going at school for the first time. I was a soppy mom and I didn't care at all.

And look at me now. I am walking up the stairs and I am looking of our family pictures.. Ashley, Nickolas and I at the beach, me and Ashley in our wedding day, me and Ashley when we first met. My favourite one is the one that my whole family is there.. Me, Ashley, Nickolas, Beth, my mom, my dad, Glen, my grandfather, my grandmother, Kyla, her husband, their little girl. I stop and look at that picture. It takes me back to that day. How 20 years of marriage seem like yesterday and how many happy moments I had with the people I love.

"Spence.."

"Yes..?"

"He will be back every weekend baby"

"I know.. I just can't believe that he is already 17 Ash.. I remember his first day at school and now he is a grown up man going away to study"

"We still have a teenage girl to handle."

"That I already know. I swear to God Ash. If I thought that Nickolas was a mini you, Beth is a mini Ashley. You are the same."

Yes, we had a teenage girl. Beth was 12 years old and she was already breaking up hearts. She was a spit image of Ashley. She had the same character, she was hot tempered, she didn't like school but she was a great child.

"Mom, where is my ipod? I told you not to mess with my stuff. How many times do I need to tell you that?"

"Beth, watch your tone young lady" that would be me. Beth was listening only me

"But mom she always messing with my stuff. I told her many times not to touch my things or to clean my room"

"If you cleaned your room I wouldn't have to clean it for you Beth"

"Yeah, whatever"

She tried to leave but I told her to wait. I didn't like how she was treating Ashley and I talked with her many times about that matter. We walked back to her room. Before I sit next to her I open her drawer and gave her her ipod.

"You should search more carefully Beth"

"I searched there but it wasn't when I did"

"If you did then we wouldn't have that conversation downstairs" now she wasn't looking at me. She was a good kid and it was hurting me how she was with Ashley when she wasn't like that with me. "Beth, sweetie. Why you talk like that to mom?"

"She is pissing me off"

"Beth, tell me what is wrong. You started being like that the last couple of months. Care to tell me what is it baby girl?" I knew there was a reason behind her acts. I knew my child. Yes, she was like Ashley but we haven't raised her like that. We raised her to be respectful.

"I don't think you want to know"

"Try me"

"People are mean" I didn't want to interrupt her. She seemed to want to say more.."People are just mean."

"Ok. Why they are mean?"

"One of my classmates told me some things about mom"

"What did he tell you?" I saw her debating with herself. I knew instantly that it wasn't something good. "It's ok baby girl. Tell me"

"I.. don't know mom.."

"I am here ok? Trust me"

"He said that mom was just a whore. That she was fucking one of our teachers and that she was cheating on you and that being a lesbian is sick. I told him that mom would never do that to you and then he told me how I was born since I had two moms and not a dad."

That broke my heart. After so many years and still our society was close minded. I thought that people would change but I guess that was a wishful thought. And I could understand why my daughter was acting like that all this long. After all she was only 12 and she had people saying bad things for her family.

"Sweetie why you didn't say anything? You know that mom would do everything for you and your brother. She would never cheat on me. Instead of talking to her like that you could say something"

"I know. I just.. I am sorry mom"

"You shouldn't ask forgiveness from me. You should go downstairs and say sorry to your mom. Promise me that if something like that happen again you will come and talk to us. As for your classmate tell me his name and tomorrow I will come to your school and speak with your teacher. Ok?"

"Yes.. I am sorry mom" she said and kissed my cheek. Before I go down I wanted to give to my daughter and wife some time to talk. When I went downstairs Beth was saying sorry to Ashley and was hugging her. That was my little girl.

"Is everything alright now?"

"What did you tell her Spence?"

"I will tell you later. Now let's go and help our son pack his things"

"Did I tell you how much I love you?"

"Hmm.. I don't think so.." she hugged me and kissed my lips

"I love you very much Mrs Spencer Carlin Davies"

"And I love you sexy momma"

* * *

**THE END**

**As every time one of my stories ends i will say that if you like my writing and you want to read something new from me add me to your author alert. For now i will take a break and be only a reader. But i already thought my new story.. You know me.. I can't stay away from writing..**

**Thank you baby for everything..  
**


End file.
